How pathetic

MoFree

I didn't expect that I would have such a total emotional, teary breakdown looking at a photo of a beaming new PAIF mother holding her newborn twins.  I really had to walk away from my desk to compose myself, although not very well.  Thank goodness the clinic is so slow and I'm not expecting any more patients because I don't want anyone to see me like this.

I wish I didn't feel so incomplete as a person and was able to really feel happy for other people's joy, but often it's a knee jerk insincere reaction.  IF just sucks. 

Edwina.McDunnough

Big hugs Mo.

abbe19

It is not pathetic sweetie. It happens to all of us. I recently visited a friend that had a baby and there was a point where as she was cuddling her, I very nearly had a panic attack. It hit me like a freight train. It is the hardest thing we will ever battle. It totally, totally sucks. (((hugs)))

katerena

Not pathetic at all sweetie.  I think that's what people were trying to articulate in the post from the other day about how sometimes it hurts a little more when it's a PAIF or SAIF story. 

Yes, seeing fertile people with their bellies and babies stings, but there is another complicated pinch of salt in the wound when it's someone who was in the trenches with us.  Like, it's inconceivable that I would be in the same shoes as a fertile person, but when I see people with twins after their IVF's I feel another layer of "that could have (SHOULD HAVE) been me"

All topped with an extra healthy dab of guilt and self loathing on top because this is a person who deserves it too and knows what it's like to feel this way. 

I totally get it.  And I don't think you're pathetic, I think you're normal.  Hugs to you

inlove731

Oh honey...I'm so sorry.  We have all been there, so don't feel guilty.

wewannababy

Lots of hugs!  IF sure does suck!!!

Sunshine05

Katerena's a smart chick.    You're not pathetic, it's completely understandable and normal.  *hugs*

Mrs. Mo

{{hugs}} I am always brought to tears when I see a baby sleeping on it's mom/dad's chest.

bbakersgirl75

((Big Hugs)) I'm so sorry hun. Sometimes we all feel this way. It's just a stupid result of our stupid IF.