Parenting after a Loss

How would you tell someone who doesn't know you know...

I have a friend who has been trying to get pregnant for over a year (although she could be pregnant now and just hasn't told me yet). But she doesn't know that I know. She doesn't want to tell a soul, which honestly, kind of hurts because we shared everything with them, but this isn't about me or that fact. Her husband couldn't take it and told my husband a few months back. We've been praying for them ever since. Anyway, we haven't told them yet that we're expecting. I've only seen them a couple times over the holidays and it was rushed, so not really a good time. Plus, I didn't want to tell her before she left to go visit family and had Christmas in case it upset her. So, how would you tell her? With DS, when I told friends who had been having trouble, I did it gently, you know? But I can't really do that if I don't "have a reason" to give the news gently. But I don't want to be an a$$ either, which I don't try to be anyway, but you know. Ugh. Ok, tips?
missed miscarriage began 04/08, ended 07/08 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker

Re: How would you tell someone who doesn't know you know...

  • Is there a middle ground? 

     

    I would say do it in person and make it so it doesn't seem like you are trying to be easy on her. Say something like "Well, DS is going to be a big brother" or something like that. It will be a surprise no matter what you do. Or, maybe have your H tell her H, then he can let her know. I know it sucks finding out that way, but he can probably break it to her easier than anyone else can.  

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Yeah, we've been telling most of people (close friends and our immediate family that is) "DS is going to be a big brother!" I wouldn't do it other than in person for sure. And I think it would be weird if we told her DH and then he told her. So we'll just tell them the next time we see them and hopefully she's okay. Thanks!
    missed miscarriage began 04/08, ended 07/08 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
  • Loading the player...
  • imagecaliforniastars:

    Is there a middle ground? 

     

    I would say do it in person and make it so it doesn't seem like you are trying to be easy on her. Say something like "Well, DS is going to be a big brother" or something like that. It will be a surprise no matter what you do. Or, maybe have your H tell her H, then he can let her know. I know it sucks finding out that way, but he can probably break it to her easier than anyone else can.  

    I like this idea. Casual but still in person. And then maybe you can judge her reaction and then go from there. I think it'll be obvious if she would want to talk more of if that'd be the end of the conversation you know? GL! Let us know how itgoes!

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"