Is it True?

Fallon621

That no one takes you seriously if you have the "newbie" status on here as a PP said?  Even though there are people admitting to upping their post dis-honestly in ways that I do not even know?  I'm guessing because they want to be taken seriously?  Which I completely understand.

And if so and you are one of these people that are just posting on other boards or whatever to up your "status" do you take "newbies" seriously even though you are still one Technically?  If this is true then how do I change my status so that people will take me seriously?

Sorry I am just so confused by all of this.  All of my posts on here have been honest and I do hope that people take me seriously.  I was on here in "05" (not on this board) under a different name while PG with DS.  Then years later after not going on in a very long time forgot all my log in info and had to make a new account on TK (which i only went on a few times) and started posting when I got my BFP before this loss.  So I am not really a newbie.

ccansdale

i haven't honestly heard that.. (since i'm close in # of posts to you)..

the girls on this board have seemed very accepting compared to those on other boards in my opinoin.

I know that over on another board (that i wont say) ppl consider you a newbie if they don't know you.. not # of posts.

good luck to you!

ewilliams1127

I am really flabbergasted that people put so much emphasis on the number and not the quality!  I take everyone seriously here until they give me reason not to.  Just because someone is a "Newbie" doesn't mean they don't have valuable insight or experience IRL. 

emeraudecephiro

I think they more meant the bump in general more than here, I more go by quality unless you have like...10 posts... and you do something odd.

jinx75

Actually it's not the status you're in so much as the amount of support you give to the women on this board that determines if you'll be "taken seriously."  I was barely a newbie when I came to TTCAL and in less than 4 months I have gotten to bronze status and I think people here take me seriously, that is when I am actually being serious.

I don't think newbs should put so much emphasis on being accepted or being taken seriously.  I think they should just be themselves, share their stories, give back to those that are giving to them and it will all come out in the wash so to speak. 

LifeInANutshell

eh, some people will judge you because you are a newbie just like other people will judge based on if they know you or not... others will judge you for reasons that may never cross your mind.

... either way, who cares?

rguinn75

The women of this board are very protective of each other... Some have been on TTCAL journeys a long time and it hard to have folks come and go quickly.. You will also learn that everytime CD1 shows up or you don't O when you hope how hard it is to go month by month knowing you could have had a take home baby and lost it and now your struggling each and everyday to hold it together and be happy for all those who come and go...

It is not that your not taken seriously... Its just you have to learn the flow of the board which is why they suggest that you introduce yourself and then lurk a bit...Be supportive and get support... but you have to learn the vibe... its not always puppies and rainbows here... there is a lot of hurt, anger and anxiety.. 

Believe me I have not seen many posts as of late but there are a lot of women who come here intentionally to start crap and say terrible hurtful things to women who have gone through so much...

 I am sorry if I stepped on any toes ladies but again you will see how it is.. just give it time.. you're all in the same boat... just some will take longer to graduate than others..

HadleyS

jinx75:

Actually it's not the status you're in so much as the amount of support you give to the women on this board that determines if you'll be "taken seriously."  I was barely a newbie when I came to TTCAL and in less than 4 months I have gotten to bronze status and I think people here take me seriously, that is when I am actually being serious.

I don't think newbs should put so much emphasis on being accepted or being taken seriously.  I think they should just be themselves, share their stories, give back to those that are giving to them and it will all come out in the wash so to speak. 

This, I completely agree with this!

Fallon621

I do not personally care about my "status" at all.  I was just confused by it all.  LOL 

Since the day I started posting on this board I have given support to just about each and every one of you in some way.  And I do not expect anything in return nor do I really ever ask for support. (but I'm sure I will)  I love this board and have met some awesome woman.  I have not been flamed or had anything "mean" said to me as I did lurk, into myself and read the blog before I ever started posting.  I just feel a little bad for others that this HAS happened to.

I will continue to earn my "status" the right way and just keep supporting the way I have been.    Thanks to all of the ladies that responded to this.  I really hope that we are all not on here a very long time and for those of you who have been, I truly from the bottom of my heart hope that this road comes to and end for you soon so that you can have your new beginning.

MommyandKate

I wouldn't consider someone a Newbie at 282 posts.  If someone comes on and says something questionable and has 4 posts, then I raise an eyebrow a bit.

jertie

This isn't true for me - but everybody is different.  I give equal weight to everyone's response and it's rare that I even look at someone's level - I usually just make a mental note if someone is particularly nice, funny, thoughtful, etc.

Funny though, I can usually tell who the newbies are just by the subject lines (and they could be Silver posters, just new to TTCAL, so newb in my mind).  They are usually the ones who are in 2ww and want to know who else will be testing and when, or have charting questions, temping questions, etc.  (Not always, but that's usually how it goes.)  This does not mean we don't want you to post this stuff - we all did it, we were learning the ropes - hell, I still am and I've been here for almost 6 months.  As with most things, there's a learning curve and if you're here long enough you'll get the flow, people start to recognize you and you start making friends.

Fallon621

SweetTurnip:

Mel12880:

I wouldn't consider someone a Newbie at 282 posts.  If someone comes on and says something questionable and has 4 posts, then I raise an eyebrow a bit.

This. It's more about the kinds of posts you make, rather than how many you have. FWIW, Fallon, I think you're great and have been really awesome about being supportive! Don't stress yourself out!

Thanks you both so much and SweetTurnip it is worth a lot!

Tapatio

jinx75:

Actually it's not the status you're in so much as the amount of support you give to the women on this board that determines if you'll be "taken seriously."  I was barely a newbie when I came to TTCAL and in less than 4 months I have gotten to bronze status and I think people here take me seriously, that is when I am actually being serious.

I don't think newbs should put so much emphasis on being accepted or being taken seriously.  I think they should just be themselves, share their stories, give back to those that are giving to them and it will all come out in the wash so to speak. 

I agree with jinx. I don't care how many posts someone has. All I care about is if I've seen you around giving support to me and other Bumpies. Be yourself and take the time to get to know people. Don't stress about post counts.

shoefreak85

I take people for who they are, not for their posting status.  Someone with a gold or platinum could come on here talking nonsense and I wouldn't take them seriously.  I went through my newbie days, and it took a few months.  Now, I'm a bronze poster and some don't take those seriously either, but oh well.  I have been on this board for almost 6 months and on boards previously, so I know in my own heart that I'm not newbie, but I also don't think I'm a know-it-all.

However, I know who has been on this board for a while and I do look for their advice because most have been there, done that.  

JulsW

Fallon~Please don't stress. I have seen nothing but support and helpful advice from you. I like Jertie said, remember a SN if something was said that was helpful or comforting, or on the opposite side if they are not worthy of my time. You are doing fine and I wouldn't worry about the number!

HadleyS

Tapatio:

jinx75:

Actually it's not the status you're in so much as the amount of support you give to the women on this board that determines if you'll be "taken seriously."  I was barely a newbie when I came to TTCAL and in less than 4 months I have gotten to bronze status and I think people here take me seriously, that is when I am actually being serious.

I don't think newbs should put so much emphasis on being accepted or being taken seriously.  I think they should just be themselves, share their stories, give back to those that are giving to them and it will all come out in the wash so to speak. 

I agree with jinx. I don't care how many posts someone has. All I care about is if I've seen you around giving support to me and other Bumpies. Be yourself and take the time to get to know people. Don't stress about post counts.

Exactly.  It is so refreshing to hear all of this.  Give support, get support, that's the biggest take-home-message from the blog, and that's what I try to do.

Junebug060609

I've been out & about all day and am still getting caught up on all the posts today, but just wanted to say that it doesn't matter to me if someones been here for two days or two years in terms of taking posters seriously.  If they need support, or ask a question I can answer, I'll do what I can.  If you're new, just be yourself and we'll see the kind of person you are with time. 

Gaberinos

I am a Newbie too, but always feel welcome here. I have seen you around here and you seem like you giving a lot of support and advice, so I wouldn't worry about it. You seem like a great bumpie to me. I discovered the bump after my loss when a friend referred the site to me a couple of months ago, so I have not been on very long. I do enjoy having an extra support system and being able to help others with whatever I can. There are truly a lot of great ladies here. It is nice having a place to go to talk to people that are going through the same thing and people in real life don't really understand your situation. Everyone I have talked to on here seems to know where we are all coming from. I truly appreciate that. I need to work a little harder at posting more myself, but you seem like you are doing a great job

Fallon621

wickedsugar:

I will add my 0.02 to things, when I say Newb, it's more to do with what you say & how you say it rather than the actual # of posts,when coming in to a new group , take the time to get a feel for them, don't just start spouting off..

And as for the upping the post count, I will put it to you this way... you are at 490 bronze is 500 why not ask the girls to ask you questions about yourself that you need to answer seperatly ??   We get to know you that way too.. no harm no foul.

Were you talking to me?  Because I do not have that many posts?  I do not care about MY post count. I only would have if people didn't take me seriously.  But the idea of having people post questions for me to answer sounds fun and would be a great way for some of you to GTK me better.  But how do I go about doing this.?

johnnys june

To me, Newb was always a maturity not number status.  Being new to a board and being a Newb in general are two totally different things.  I agree...it comes down to quality of the post and common sense.  I've felt welcome from day one.  I consider myself still "new" to alot of things TTCAL related like some of the terms, charting (never done it), ect.  But it didn't take long for me to take ownership as part of this group and to understand the dynamic of the ladies involved!

Fallon621

JulsW:

Fallon~Please don't stress. I have seen nothing but support and helpful advice from you. I like Jertie said, remember a SN if something was said that was helpful or comforting, or on the opposite side if they are not worthy of my time. You are doing fine and I wouldn't worry about the number!

Thanks so much for noticing!

Fallon621

johnnys june:

To me, Newb was always a maturity not number status.  Being new to a board and being a Newb in general are two totally different things.  I agree...it comes down to quality of the post and common sense.  I've felt welcome from day one.  I consider myself still "new" to alot of things TTCAL related like some of the terms, charting (never done it), ect.  But it didn't take long for me to take ownership as part of this group and to understand the dynamic of the ladies involved!

Highlighted in bold: Me too!  I was just curious with another post from earlier in the day.

ColleenS629

To be honest with you, the only time I judge a person by their "status" is when they are trying to sound like they know it all and have the answers to everything. When they act like they are the authority on anything and everything and I see that they are a newb, I kind of give them the side-eye.

BabyTrippin

I'll throw my 2? out there just because I need a few more posts under my belt

I sometimes use post count/bump status as a way to tailor my responses to someone.  If someone has 20 posts and is asking valid, respectful questions, I'll refrain from using FWP, MF, POAS, OPK, BFN, FH and all of that.  If they are phishing with 20 posts, I won't be as kind and helpful (likely I'll post a saggy boob pic LOL!).  If someone has 3000 posts, I figure they've been around the bump long enough to know what all the acronyms are AND have a bit thicker skin so I can be a little more bluntly honest.  

I also don't have issues with someone, like AutumnLeaves, who changes their screen name taking advantage of the glitch that allows a quick post count bump.  They've put the time and effort in, just on another name.  I'd rather someone with 2 days of bump experience didn't do that because then I can't refine my responses to them as well.  

Izabella22

Its definitely quality not quantity, if you ask good valid questions it doesn't matter to me if you've got 4 posts or 4000, if you post every day about your bfns or all the sighns you've got well most likely I'm going to ignore you regardless of oldie or newbie. To be completely honest much of hte time now I generally stick to reading the posts from posters I recognize but I'm a bitter old hag and I'm tta for now so I don't have a lot of positive input, mostly just *hugs* for my ladies who are having a rough day. And I nearly never read the "am i welcome here" type posts... I think if you post an intro, get and give support without being hurtful, you belong here. End of story.

Pachita

I don't think a newbie status signifies a lack of respect and it doesn't mean that 'veterans' will be hostile towards her.  If she's smart enough to lurk and read the ttcal blog, she'll know the dos and donts of this board.  Introducing yourself is customary and asking any question is fine...as long as it's not asking 'Am I PG" type of questions. There are other boards for that.

millejj1

rguinn75:

The women of this board are very protective of each other... Some have been on TTCAL journeys a long time and it hard to have folks come and go quickly.. You will also learn that everytime CD1 shows up or you don't O when you hope how hard it is to go month by month knowing you could have had a take home baby and lost it and now your struggling each and everyday to hold it together and be happy for all those who come and go...

It is not that your not taken seriously... Its just you have to learn the flow of the board which is why they suggest that you introduce yourself and then lurk a bit...Be supportive and get support... but you have to learn the vibe... its not always puppies and rainbows here... there is a lot of hurt, anger and anxiety.. 

Believe me I have not seen many posts as of late but there are a lot of women who come here intentionally to start crap and say terrible hurtful things to women who have gone through so much...

 I am sorry if I stepped on any toes ladies but again you will see how it is.. just give it time.. you're all in the same boat... just some will take longer to graduate than others..

and 

jinx75:

Actually it's not the status you're in so much as the amount of support you give to the women on this board that determines if you'll be "taken seriously."  I was barely a newbie when I came to TTCAL and in less than 4 months I have gotten to bronze status and I think people here take me seriously, that is when I am actually being serious.

I don't think newbs should put so much emphasis on being accepted or being taken seriously.  I think they should just be themselves, share their stories, give back to those that are giving to them and it will all come out in the wash so to speak. 

These! If you have like no posts of course we are going to tread lightly and not fully trust you. We have to KNOW you to take you seriously. On that same note though you can have 50,000 posts and if we don't know you and you haven't supported us we aren't going to take your seriously.

Get to know us, let us get to know you and you'll be trusted and respected.