can't believe I'm here (warning ticker)

hewinked · January 2011

I don't really belong here, so please tell me if I'm over stepping my bounds. I've lurked here from time to time, and I read some of your blogs, so I felt drawn to post my story.

My baby boy was supposed to be 2 months old tomorrow. He died tragically and unexpectedly last night. He choked on his own phlegm (due to a cold) very early Monday morning and stopped breathing. He was unable to be resuscitated for over an hour. Due to that, his brain began to swell, and he quickly deteriorated. We took him off his breathing tube last night (due to not having any type of brain functioning) at 6:06, and he passed away at 8:45.

I am devastated, heartbroken, and numb. I just felt like I needed to post this and get support from people that understand. I'm very sorry for all your losses and that any of us have to be here.

proudmommy2b · January 2011

I am so very very sorry for your loss. There are no words. My heart breaks for you. I personally see absolutely no reason why you cannot be here on this board. I hope you can find some comfort in the ladies here as I have. You will be in my prayers.

Whitbell · January 2011

I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

LDW80 · January 2011

I am SO sorry for your loss. My heart is just breaking for you. Please take care of yourself. You have come to the right place for support. ((lots and lots of hugs to you))

Froggy76 · January 2011

I don't know what to say other than I am so, so sorry. You are more than welcome on this board. I hope we will be able to provide you with some support.

coreysmomma · January 2011

I have no words for how unbelievably sorry I am. I pray for you and your family and your baby boy.

Danielle

ekmOC · January 2011

I am so very sorry for your loss and the heartache you have had to endure over the past few days.

As you know, there are no words can fix what has happened, but you are not alone and I hope you will continue to come here for support.

88eve88 · January 2011

Words cannot truly express how sorry I am to read your story. It was definitely unexpected, but you've come to the right place for comfort and support. I'm so terribly sorry for your devastating loss.

lauren.cus · January 2011

man, there are really no words as apologies just aren't enough. I really hope you can find the support we all have found here.

ashleyluvskyle · January 2011

I am so sorry! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

pnkfaerie · January 2011

I am so sorry for your loss, I hope you find support and understanding from the members here in this board. *hug*

erikaja6 · January 2011

As a result of this board's title, I can see why you might be worried you don't belong here. However, as I'm sure you can see from all the other responses, you are more than welcome to be here. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. The ladies on this board have been a wonderful support system for me. I hope you come to feel the same way. I am sending thoughts/prayers to you and your family.

hewinked · January 2011

Thank you ladies. I don't know why I lurked here before this happened, perhaps because I've had several friends and family members that have had miscarriages or stillbirths. It seems morbid to lurk on this type of board, but I've always felt drawn to read your stories. I never ever thought I'd be here (as I'm sure you all feel the same). I've seen some of your posts where pics of your precious angels have been posted. I hope no one minds if I share mine as I process this and feel comfortable in doing so.

MegMeg0913 · January 2011

Your found a place that you are more than welcome. I am so sorry for you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you honey ~big hugs~

hewinked · January 2011

lissasue3:

Like I said on 3-6, if you ever need to talk, just PM me.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

**ridiculously huge mega hugs**

Our kiddos were born on the same day. Huge mega hugs right back at ya.

hewinked · January 2011

hewinked:
lissasue3:

Like I said on 3-6, if you ever need to talk, just PM me.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

**ridiculously huge mega hugs**

Our kiddos were born on the same day. Huge mega hugs right back at ya.

And I'm reading your blog now, and your DD shares my birthday. Crazy.

lavril · January 2011

I am so very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you were brave enough to post on this board, and I hope you find comfort here.

Manderlin923 · January 2011

(warning DS pic/ticker)

My God. I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart is just breaking for you. Please know you are welcome here anytime. The ladies on this board have been so helpful in helping me process my loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

So so sorry

cala09 · January 2011

I'm so unbelievably heart broken for you. I know that there isn't much that words can do to console you but know that the women on this board are amazing and so open. We are all here for you. My heart and prayers go out to you. Please take care of yourself.

Mommaswede · January 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers!

taurus424 · January 2011

hugs. there are no words to describe how a mother feels about the loss of a child. it is something unnatural and cruel. i feel sorry that someone has to endure this in their lifetime. Its not fair. I am here if you want to scream or vent or rant or rave or cry....this is the place to get it all out.

ChristinaCT · January 2011

(Ticker/SiggyPic Warning)

I am so so sorry for your loss. {{{HUGS!}}} I hope you have a good support system IRL, the women here are wonderful & very supportive. We are here for you. I am sorry any of us have to be here, but at least we are finding strength to get through the days together.

hewinked · January 2011

lissasue3:
hewinked:
hewinked:
lissasue3:

Like I said on 3-6, if you ever need to talk, just PM me.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

**ridiculously huge mega hugs**

Our kiddos were born on the same day. Huge mega hugs right back at ya.

And I'm reading your blog now, and your DD shares my birthday. Crazy.

I'm curious what other birthdays our families might share.
You may not feel like it now, but I will say that writing a blog/journal has helped me. I wasn't going to make it public at first but then I got tired of explaining to people how I felt. It was easier to let people check-in on me when they felt like it. One day you might consider it.

How's are you coping? How are your H and DD doing? I hope you have family and friends around to do things for you as you come to terms with this.

The kiddos have a blog. I don't know what I'm gonna do with it. I might start my own. We are ok. I'm staying really distracted right now. DH has been sleeping a lot, but when he's awake, he's ok. DD doesn't now what's going on. She keeps asking for him, saying "Ahbah," which is how she says Adam. Then when we say he's not here, she says, sick. I'm not sure what to say to her yet.

poppyjean · January 2011

Oh my Lord. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. There are no words. You, your family and precious baby Adam are in my thoughts and prayers. Please post whenever you need some support or just to vent.

Jenn478 · January 2011

I am so sorry for your loss. We were on the tri boards together with our firsts.

Fallon621 · January 2011

WOW sorry I am just now getting to this but I just teared up reading this. I am sooooo sorry that you had to let your precious angel go. There are no words right now but please know that you are in the right place and are more then welcomed here!!! I will keep you in my thoughts. And feel free to vent as needed we all do. My self and all of the other woman on this board are an amazing support system. ((((HUGE HUGS)))) to you!!

Jen&Louie · January 2011

I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your baby boy. I know that no words could begin to make things better but, know that I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers as you grieve.