I feel bad for my friend

jen629

She is a neighbor who just moved in in May and was going to get married this May for a destination wedding...we got her save the date 2 days before New Years....I have lost many friends over this year and really I guess find it hard to get close to anyone and stay in the house most of the time..so she will call and ask me to run errands or get a pedicure and DH is always pushing me to hang out with her because she really has been a good friend even after just this short while

so the other night she texts me and says she has to tell me something but I cannot tell anyone..I know I know ..exactly what you are all thinking too ..I ask if she is pregnant ..she of course responds no and tells me they have decided to end it and not get married...I felt like an ass first of all and now I just feel so bad that I said it.....She moved out over the weekend and just text me she hopes we are still going to be friends and hang out ..I tell her of course why wouldn't we be ..I just don't even know what else to say because I don't want to pry

Rawr08

I would have thought the same thing.

All you can really do for her is listen.  There is a gal at work who is going through a divorce and I am the only one she has told.  I don't know why, we aren't close at all, I figure because I went through it she thinks I would understand.  I hope you can stay close with your friend and offer her the support she needs right now.

myaddiwaddi06

I too would have thought the same exact thing. I am sorry you are going thru this and I am also very sorry for your friend. Breaking up before a marriage is very difficult and in some way unlike our she is experiencing a loss. Just be there for her and listen. She obviously feels comfortable enough to share it with you and she also thinks highly of your friendship and is concerned about losing it.

I would just let her come to you as she feels comfortable. You can reach out to her in other ways and just ask her to go do something. If she feels like talking she will. Again I am sorry for your friend. (big hugs for both of you)

Deepak&Derek

Rawr08:

I would have thought the same thing.

All you can really do for her is listen. 

This, it is good that she is reaching out to someone to talk about this.  Don't feel bad about what you said to her. 

MommyandKate

That's really sad.  At least they made the decision before the wedding.

twistedmetal

i would just ask if she wants to get coffee or something and if she needs someone to talk to you are free anytime

millejj1

That's so sad. I agree that all you can do is listen. She will talk when she is ready. Definitely invite her to do other things, or start a tradition of a girls dinner night where you hang out, cook, and drink wine.

ColleenS629

I would have thought the same thing. Maybe you can get some coffee with her or something and just let her know that you are there if she needs to talk. She may want to tell you what happened.

clauseka

This.  I think if you make plans and lend an ear, she will likely give more details without you having to ask.  I was in a similar situation and all it took was sitting down to dinner with my casual friend from work.  The topic of her moving away from her husband came up and I just said "You can totally say you don't want to talk about it, but if you want to talk I'm here".  She was dying to talk to someone because she hadn't told anyone yet.  ((Hugs to You)) and I wish the best for your friend.

jen629

thanks ladies

LilMaggs

I'm so sorry.  I totally would have thought the same thing. T&P's headed her direction.