Thank you (hurt. confused. - Post)

vitan

Thank you lovely, lovely ladies for your utmost support yesterday. Right after I posted I went to my mom's and she helped me calm down and see the silver lining in all of this and just let me vent.

I think what got me the most was that 3 months ago my SIL had told me she wasn't ready for kids (she's only 23) and her and her husband had been fighting like cats and dogs. Just on Thursday, my BIL had told DH that he was ending it. I feel like this pregnancy was the quick safety for a failing marriage, which pisses me off! This was NOT the time to be getting pregnant but who am I to say. I can't remember who said it but you're right, the full term, take home pregnancies seem to happen to those who don't truly appreciate it. Not all the time, I'm just saying it does seem to happen to the people who make you scratch your head. 

I'm not ready to congratulate her or even talk to her and I do not wish for her to experience what I did but hopefully with time I will be. Also, none of DH's family knows about the pregnancy or loss and any apathy that may come from me may be taken as a sign of "jealousy", which there is but not for the reason's they think. Ugh, I hope this gets better cuz yesterday and today just sucks.

Sadly, DH thought I needed to be treated the way he likes to be treated when he's upset, which is alone. What I really needed was a big hug telling me everything would be alright. I am alone at home but feel the support virtually. 

As always, I am sorry for your losses ladies but continue to pray and hope for all of you. 

Fallon621

I'm really glad that you talked to your mom and were able to calm down.  But I know it's still killing you inside.  I am also having a hrd time STILL with finding out about my SIl and my sister.  I hope this bitter feeling goes away for the both of us soon.  We have other things to focus out attention on Like getting well physicaly and emotionally for when we are ready to TTC again.  Best of luck to you and hope today is a littler better. 

vitan

Ugh, Fallon...I'm so sorry that you have a double whammy. The bitter feeling and taste is not so good. I wish it does go away and I'm trying hard to focus on my little family (me, DH and doggie) and the plans we have but it's pretty hard when your heart is hurting.

Sending you the biggest (((hugs))). 

Jen&Louie

I don't know that there is ever an easy way to take or respond to the (should be) happy news of someone close to us when we are hurting.  It's just a hard scenario, even when your heart is in the right place.  I'm glad to hear that your mom was helpful though.

As for DH - sometimes men really do need a lot of direction in how to handle things.  I used to expect that DH should know me well enough to read my moods and know what I need but, it's just not the case.  Try telling him what you need.  This is a hard time for both of you and communicating with each other will hopefully make things a bit easier on you both.  ((hugs))