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TTC After a Loss
haziedaze
member
Kumbaya Anyone?
haziedaze
member
Not wanting to vomit P&Rs on anyone, but seriously I hate this stuff. Telling women who have been TTCAL 6+ months that they don't belong is ridiculous. They are the backbone and lifeblood on this board. No one wants to be here that long, but we are lucky to have them. They keep us newbies more grounded and help us put things in perspective.
On the other hand, having some newbies on this board is important too, and it repletes our numbers after we have a mass exodus like the last few weeks. With that comes posts about AF suckage... it's part of the territory, I think. But all of us who are upset about AF 1 or 2 cycles after m/c have to be prepared to have things put in perspective for us. I think the 2 most recent posters have welcomed that perspective...
Also, Gracie is only fun when we all unite against her!
BFP#1 9/14/10 (EDD 5/21/11); no fetal pole 6w6d, 7w4d, d&c 10/8
BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Kumbaya Anyone?
Sweetie I'm pretty sure it wasn't you that made anyone upset.. All of us have been there it is a really hard time.. ((hugs)) I'm hoping all of us get out BFPs soon..
I like that you are remaining positive!! Good luck to you!
I'm reposting this in here. So everyone can see it. Totally understand how all of you feel. And I do apologize. You guys can accept or not. I can't change the way you feel. I reread what I said and it totally did sound that way.
What I honestly meant was 6+ is there if you don't want to deal with the new people. If you don't want to have to constantly deal with people coming and going after a couple cycles. It was created so you didn't have to be in any more pain then absolutely necessary.
Don't be sorry for posting what you did. It seems like the consensus is that your posting was fine and that the position you're in right now sucks. My personal opinion is if someone else was bothered by the post, she should've walked away instead of dismissing the pain that you're going through as less signficant than her own pain. Your pain is justified, and you have every right to post about it.
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
Julie, none of my Kumbaya post is directed at you. Like you, my loss was more recent. I agree that you should feel free to post about the pain of AF no matter how many cycles it has been.
I also think the reminder that many women try for years to make it over to PGAL is a good one for all of us. I just wish it hadn't come from an AE...
BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
I'm not going to puke puppies and rainbows on anyone, but I myself are trying to relearn the dynamics of this board. There are a lot of newbies going through the first cycle TTC. I do not appreciate being called an "unlucky one" - I think that's what hurt the most. I don't appreciate being told that 6+ exsists for a reason either. So if you do that, you're going to be called out. But I can understand how much the first AF really hurt. I think if the post title was just reworded a little differently it would have been fine.
I think i've just gotten to a point to where I don't care. I don't know. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's not. TTCAL is not fun.
But yet again, this is the same old song and dance as we saw a few months ago... and it'll repeat itself a few months from now. *sigh*
Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11
Thank you for apologizing. I really appreciate that.
The problem is, 6+ isn't for everyone. Yes, I comment there. Yes, I follow their stories and root for them. The part that comes in is that I'm not in the same place they are. I don't have any advice to give them on follie size or IVF injectables or IUIs or anything along that side. I'm still waiting for my testing and to go on clomid or femara.
I can give more advice on this side, and that's how I like it. I like helping others. But i'm also not going to shoot puppies and rainbows up their butts because that's what they want to hear.
Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11
bump burp
Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11
I just don't get why some people feel the need to tell people where they belong. I also don't get the flaming for having a hard time dealing all of the crappy feelings that come along with ttcal, even if it your first cycle ttcal. I have been posting on ttcal + 6 months, but have been told by certain people that they don't think I should post there either. I guess it happens on every board. All of this stinks. The fact that we have to be here or on ttcal + 6 stinks. And I don't think supporting other people who are hurting is being puppies and rainbows...just my opinion.
I don't think anyone was flaming the OP... everyone was being supportive of her that I saw.
Sorry. I started typing before the end of the quote and didn't realize it.
Honestly, I saw a lot of comments that were not supportive. I get the goats and stuff, but everyone isn't in the same point of ttcal. That doesn't mean that they shouldn't be able to post on a ttcal. I think it works both ways.
I think most of them pointed out that her title probably wasn't the best and really most the posts in there were pointed to Mrs. R and her comment she made to slushee (who I feel was out of line too by the way)