you mommas are distorting my reality

C-Charm

So...apparently I spend way too much time online reading about AP parents and reading about AP methods/philosophies.

I easily forget that breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, etc is NOT the norm.  I've found myself shocked to learn that a parent with whom I get along and seem to have a lot in common casually mentions that they use CIO.

 Also, I've learned that other people often make wrong assumptions about how I parent.  I've had someone ask me about DD's bottle-feeding habits only to realize that I've never seen my daughter drink from a bottle!  (At one point I was asked if she's holding her own bottle yet.)  She only used bottles at daycare when I was at work. I've also had people ask me how weaning went then had to explain that I don't plan to wean.

 Has anyone else encountered this?

 ETA:  I guess I'm also spending too much time with the few AP mommas I know IRL.

kwinters87

Lol this used to happen to me a lot when I would visit my hometown where there is very little AP support. When I finally found an AP group of moms to hang out with I felt more at home with my parenting. My non AP friends were so supportive of me joining the group because it made me happy and they didn't have to listen to me babble on about things they weren't familiar with.

SteelCityBride

I don't know any AP mamas IRL, so I definitely have felt what you are feeling!  Many people in my family & my friends look at me like I'm crazy when I talk about my parenting choices.  In fact just today my mom was in shock when I told her I plan on nursing until E is at least 2 or until he's ready to stop.  And everyone EVERYONE has an opinion about us bedsharing. Oh well, if they don't like it that's their problem, not mine... but I definitely feel like I'm in my own world where everything I'm doing is the norm because mostly I talk to like-minded online mamas & it is strange to me when others think I'm weird or not normal for my choices.

scatt26

I don't know any other parents in my social group that practice AP. I never understand why so many people have opinions on things that don't even affect them, such as bfing, bedsharing, bwing, etc! When I talk about nursing, I have had people say, "How long do you have to do that?!?!" Hmm..never really sure how to answer this one (considering I never HAD to do it to begin with). Thankfully, I have a lot of support from my DF and my family . My mom nursed my until I was 4, so no one will think I am crazy if I go until he is 2 or so. I am slowly trying to encourage some of my girlfriends to start babywearing, but we'll see

ladybug8510

I have one AP friend who is the only person I really talk about AP stuff with.  I don't have a ton of friends with children though.  DH's family is pretty anti-ap.  They think I'm crazy for bedsharing, DD is the only one out of 6 grandchildren who was BF, the use CIO, etc. 

My mom is APish.  My mom BF me and bed shared occasionally.  When my mom watched DD, she always holds her for naps, she doesn't criticize me for bedsharing.  I also have an older friend (I used to babysit her boys, one of whom is now in college!!) and she is very AP.  She bedshared with her boys, always says that the one thing she really misses from having babies is BF, it is really sweet to hear her speak so fondly of BFing.

So I adjust what I say depending on who I'm around.  Not that I lie about anything, and I will defend how I parent, but I don't go out of my way to bring up  stuff with my non-ap friends/family.  

Allie30

I guess it depends on where you live. Here, total strangers stopped me on the street while pregnant to ask me about my breastfeeding plans, friends i know who had an absolute nightmarish Bradley birth were insistent I at least "think about it" and several other folks assumed that I'd be having a home birth.

Though in general, I think the people on the internet (not this board or CD board, but some others) are more judgmental than  parents i know in real life. The only thing IRL people have been side-eyed about is the cloth diapering.

ananas19

I don't have many friends with kids where I live, most of my friends are near where I grew up. So I mostly rely on the internet for "mom-formation." I definitely agree that it may be distorting my view. 

We were at the airport last week and I was wearing DS and saw a woman wrangling a travel system with a small infant and a toddler. I told DH she should be wearing the baby and she would be able to interact more with the toddler. He just laughed and said I was right, but that to everyone else going through security I was the crazy mom. 

katie6195

Wish I had that type of IRL support. My family doesn't agree with my BF, co-sleeping, BW ways and it really makes you start to second guess yourself sometimes. So happy for you that AP is your "norm". On another note, I did just fine a BW group in my area, so hoping to find some AP moms there

C-Charm

Allie30:

I guess it depends on where you live. Here, total strangers stopped me on the street while pregnant to ask me about my breastfeeding plans, friends i know who had an absolute nightmarish Bradley birth were insistent I at least "think about it" and several other folks assumed that I'd be having a home birth.

Though in general, I think the people on the internet (not this board or CD board, but some others) are more judgmental than  parents i know in real life. The only thing IRL people have been side-eyed about is the cloth diapering.

I'm sure that where you live has something to do with it.  I also think it has a lot to do with what field you work in and with what socio-economic circles you find yourself in.