Avoiding people

Izabella22

Not necessarily just pg women or women w/ kids/babies (although that never works in their favor for contact) - just in general. Like a good friend of mine just msged me on fb and I ignored it cause I know she's going to ask me about drama at work this week and I don't feel like talking to her right now about it. Later today I will probably feel like talking and call her up. But just right now.. meh.  I do this a LOT, people always give me crap b/c I almost never answer my cell phone. I'll wait until they leave a message then sometimes I won't even check that till I feel like I might want to call them back. lol. Anyone else avoid people like this? Or am I an island of antisocial?

millejj1

Totally been there and still do it sometimes. It's like you don't want to see people, speak to them or even think about them.

It's like just leave me alone to do my own thing, and maybe I'll get back to you. 

inlovewithB

I do this al the time! The person I avoid the most right now is my sister. She had her IUI 3 months after we started TTC and got her take home baby he 8 months old now. Now when I talk to her she thinks she "totally" understands how I feel because she wanted a baby for so long. It infuriates me that she compares her TTC with my TTC after a Loss. And she waits to call me when her kid is on her breast!!! I don't know why she thinks I want to talk to her when I can hear sucking and little baby coos in the background.

julesjb

I have been very withdrawn lately, even make plans but as it gets closer I almost feel anxiety about seeing people. I have read it's pretty common process of grief. I usually love being around people but I just don't have the energy anymore...

ewilliams1127

I am a social person by nature but since the loss I have withdrawn from everyone. My BFF whom I usually talk to several times a day I don't want to talk to because I feel like she couldn't possibly make me feel better or understand. I'm 16 days post m/c and I am just now starting to talk to people or accept phone calls. It will get better. (((Hugs)))

BabyTrippin

I avoid people and calls all the time.  Mostly it is because I know they'll want me to do something or care about something that I don't want to.  And, sometimes you just want to be left alone with your imaginary friends in the lit up box. 

LilMaggs

BabyTrippin:

I avoid people and calls all the time.  Mostly it is because I know they'll want me to do something or care about something that I don't want to.  And, sometimes you just want to be left alone with your imaginary friends in the lit up box. 

This!  I don't have the energy to deal with my sister's drama anymore.  I am soooooo beyond sick of her wanting to cry on my shoulder about the same (preventable) damn thing every time. 

Deepak&Derek

I did this and still do this.  It definitely gets better overtime.  I am hesitant to go visit my one friend who is pregnant, but always have so much fun with her when I do.  Sometimes, I think too much and don't want to see people, but have fun when I see them.  Listen to yourself and take your time and before you know it you will be visiting people.

Heidikins27

Izabella22:

I do this a LOT, people always give me crap b/c I almost never answer my cell phone. I'll wait until they leave a message then sometimes I won't even check that till I feel like I might want to call them back. lol. Anyone else avoid people like this? Or am I an island of antisocial?

This is how I've always felt, but now after the m/c it's a lot stronger. Sometimes when I make myself see or talk to a friend, I feel energised - at times, it's the best thing for me. I think my default setting will always be 'avoid', though.

At least we're aware of our hermit tendencies!

TeacherVicky

I am often like this. Often.

Sometimes I think it's because work is so busy and I spend my days talking, that I just don't want to talk/converse sometimes.

Sometimes I just don't feel like it.

Tapatio

You are not alone. I have been withdrawn from social activities for about 1.5 years now. I don't just avoid pg women and babies but most people in general. I have this fear that people will ask an innocent question that will hit a nerve and set me off. Sometimes I know things are going really well for someone else but because I'm in such an unhappy place I can't relate being happy for someone else. Sad but true. I often stress about the bridges I've burned by behaving this way.

MandaS08

I am the worst at social avoidance! I only answer my phone half of the time-I am a much better texter! You are not the only one!

Carolee

I'm there right now.  I have absolutely no desire to see any of my friends right now.  I don't really know why - it's just how I'm feeling.  (((Hugs)))

Izabella22

BabyTrippin:

I avoid people and calls all the time.  Mostly it is because I know they'll want me to do something or care about something that I don't want to.  And, sometimes you just want to be left alone with your imaginary friends in the lit up box. 

Exactly!!!

Thanks ladies its good to know I'm not alone! I enjoy being a hermit... must mean we like ourselves, right?

hbarbour

I second what everyone said. People always say accusingly to me, "You never answer your phone!" like it's a crime. It's just that sometimes I don't feel like talking. I definitely think that part of it is feeling like TTC is always looming over me and it's hard to answer a basic question like, "How are you?" honestly ("Hmmm, do they want the real answer or the fake answer?") The other part is it's just winter, and cold, dark and rainy. Hibernatin' time for sure.