DH Hates Team Green (vent)

Sazhrah

I have wanted to stay team green for this baby so bad. I know he wants to know the gender (if we can find out) but he never let on how badly he wants to know until today. So I tried to make him a deal. We would find out but we wont tell anyone. Kind of our little secret thing. I would still love to announce to everyone what the baby is without them already knowing. I told him he could tell his best friend and that was it. He is adamant that he wants to tell everyone.

I don't get it. If it is so fun to tell everyone, wouldn't it be more fun to tell everyone once the baby is born?

Turtle143

Well I guess your H is just so excited to tell it to the world! It cannot wait!? lol

I'm team green, DH won't get in the boat but he's totally fine with not telling anyone else. He just wants to "be prepared" for himself. I'm not sure what kind of prep he'll be making since he can't make any gender-specific decors or comments. I asked him what he's going to do with that information to himself. He just said "I will rule the world!" Sigh. Men are silly. 

Sazhrah

lol. i even thought of him knowing and not but I know he will slip. He can't keep a secret like that to save his life. That is why i told him he could tell his bestfriend (he can't have children so he is living the pregnancy through us).  But since now we are going to find out (sigh), I really want to know and don't want to wait till February.

Hallil

This is exactly my DH. I wanted to be team green till the end, and he (surprisingly to me) wants to find out. Um...okay I guess, then I said why don't we NOT tell anyone? And nope, he wants to tell the world. I know there's no point in him knowing and me not because that will last all of about...3 seconds lol. Finally we agreed that we will find out AND we will tell everyone (or anyone that asks) but I told him ABSOLUTELY NO TELLING ANYONE THE NAME before LO arrives. I feel like we can keep some things to ourselves, the whole world doesn't need to know everything as soon as possible. And really, people are always going to be opinionated especially about names and I just don't care to hear it. I'm a bit dissapointed in what we agreed on, but he's just so damned excited about finding out the sex that I would feel bad to really put my foot down.

JuneBug0611

We're both solidly Team Green, but if we were going to find out, we would absolutely tell everyone.  We hate the "we know, but we're not telling" approach (definitely tell people you don't know if you want to go that route, otherwise it's terribly off-putting).  For me, part of the fun of finding something out it getting to share it with my family and friends.  I hate keeping secrets!  Sounds like maybe your DH is the same way.  Part of the fun of finding out for him is getting to tell everyone!  A compromise might be like the previous poster suggested, telling people the sex but keeping the name a secret.

luckyluvr

If you tell one person, people are going to find out anyway b/c then it's not a secret anymore. Just know that whether you tell people now or in June, you still get that "Surprise" moment; it's just sooner. Also, movies and TV make it seem like this amazing moment, but really it's 1 second of surprise and then you're in the same place you would have been had you told now. IMO, there's more stress waiting. I waited with #1 and wanted to pull my hair out by the end b/c of people asking me on a daily basis, and then giving me the third degree about not finding out. Then I drove myself nuts trying to figure it out with old wives' tales. Once you're in labor, it's the furthest thing from your mind, and this thing you've been dwelling on for all those months becomes an afterthought. Plus, if you do find out and tell now, you can plan the surprise and share the moment with everyone. If you wait, your DH will be the one to share the news and you'll be in a bed and missing the excitement.

cvl105

luckyluvr:

If you tell one person, people are going to find out anyway b/c then it's not a secret anymore. Just know that whether you tell people now or in June, you still get that "Surprise" moment; it's just sooner.

Exactly this.

Also, if he has any real hope for one sex or another, or really think it's one or the other...knowing now is better in my opinion.  MH 100% thought that our baby was a boy.  This past week we found out it was a girl.  He was in shock.  Said he had to "Change his whole game plan", etc.  So if your DH is like this at all, I say it's better now to know because I wouldn't wanted MH to feel any sort of shock or "what the heck do I do with a girl" on the day she's born.  I want it to be all excitement.

M&M227

We're team Green but DH wants to know.  He's going to wait until baby is born because it is really important to me.  I think part of it is because I really this it's a girl and I think he's  a little scared that he be disappointed.  He hasn't told me this but it's what I think.  I think once the  baby comes he will love it regardless.

Plus we have a bunch of friends that are due around the same time and are finding out.

KristenRizz

cvl105:

luckyluvr:

If you tell one person, people are going to find out anyway b/c then it's not a secret anymore. Just know that whether you tell people now or in June, you still get that "Surprise" moment; it's just sooner.

Exactly this.

Also, if he has any real hope for one sex or another, or really think it's one or the other...knowing now is better in my opinion.  MH 100% thought that our baby was a boy.  This past week we found out it was a girl.  He was in shock.  Said he had to "Change his whole game plan", etc.  So if your DH is like this at all, I say it's better now to know because I wouldn't wanted MH to feel any sort of shock or "what the heck do I do with a girl" on the day she's born.  I want it to be all excitement.

Same thing happen with Mh, plus he just sat me down nicely and said

"Listen babe you feel the baby move and hiccup and It a well known fact that woman bond so much better because well your pregnant. I think it would help me if i knew what our baby was and was able to call him/her by name and just to prepare."

How do i say no to that?

cvl105

KristenRizz:

cvl105:

luckyluvr:

If you tell one person, people are going to find out anyway b/c then it's not a secret anymore. Just know that whether you tell people now or in June, you still get that "Surprise" moment; it's just sooner.

Exactly this.

Also, if he has any real hope for one sex or another, or really think it's one or the other...knowing now is better in my opinion.  MH 100% thought that our baby was a boy.  This past week we found out it was a girl.  He was in shock.  Said he had to "Change his whole game plan", etc.  So if your DH is like this at all, I say it's better now to know because I wouldn't wanted MH to feel any sort of shock or "what the heck do I do with a girl" on the day she's born.  I want it to be all excitement.

Same thing happen with Mh, plus he just sat me down nicely and said

"Listen babe you feel the baby move and hiccup and It a well known fact that woman bond so much better because well your pregnant. I think it would help me if i knew what our baby was and was able to call him/her by name and just to prepare."

How do i say no to that?

awwww, you can't!  And he's right....very true. He's cute to think of that! Or he's good at getting he's way!

cvl105

bump burp

Becky262

luckyluvr:

If you tell one person, people are going to find out anyway b/c then it's not a secret anymore. Just know that whether you tell people now or in June, you still get that "Surprise" moment; it's just sooner. Also, movies and TV make it seem like this amazing moment, but really it's 1 second of surprise and then you're in the same place you would have been had you told now. IMO, there's more stress waiting. I waited with #1 and wanted to pull my hair out by the end b/c of people asking me on a daily basis, and then giving me the third degree about not finding out. Then I drove myself nuts trying to figure it out with old wives' tales. Once you're in labor, it's the furthest thing from your mind, and this thing you've been dwelling on for all those months becomes an afterthought. Plus, if you do find out and tell now, you can plan the surprise and share the moment with everyone. If you wait, your DH will be the one to share the news and you'll be in a bed and missing the excitement.

Although I agree that by the time LO arrives, it may not be the wonderful moment you've been dreaming about.  (I literally felt nothing the first time I saw DS.  I didn't care if it was a boy or a girl or a puppy, I just wanted to labor to be over with.) But just because I had a less than ideal delivery doesn't mean that you will too.

The OB let DH be the first to announce if it's a boy or a girl.  That was something that he really liked doing.  (I had a c/s, so everyone got to see and hold DS long before I was even out of the OR.  No big deal to me that DH got to announce to our loved ones that LO was a boy.) 

And f*ck noisy people.  Being Team Green is not that stressful (and if it is, I think you need some counseling on how to deal with peer pressure).  Yes, everyone and the grocery store clerk is going to ask 3 things - when are you due, is it a boy or a girl, and what's the name.  And yes, some people get their panties in a twist if you're waiting for be surprised. That's their problem, not yours.  

Plus, I thought it was a lot of fun (not stressful) keeping our friends and family guessing and playing the old wives games until the very end  

Becky262

Sazhrah:

I have wanted to stay team green for this baby so bad. I know he wants to know the gender (if we can find out) but he never let on how badly he wants to know until today. So I tried to make him a deal. We would find out but we wont tell anyone. Kind of our little secret thing. I would still love to announce to everyone what the baby is without them already knowing. I told him he could tell his best friend and that was it. He is adamant that he wants to tell everyone.

I don't get it. If it is so fun to tell everyone, wouldn't it be more fun to tell everyone once the baby is born?

DH and I were the same way with DS.  I was adamant about being Team Green, he wanted to know and announce it to the world asap.  We finally compromised by agreeing to go Team Green with LO #1 and find out for LO #2  

RobinSparkles81

It's tough when you aren't on the same page.  Originally we both said we wanted to find out but not tell anyone.  Now I'm kind of leaning more towards finding out and sharing...of course then I think of all the "advice" people have with one gender over the other and feel like I don't want to have to deal with that for 4 months before the baby even gets here!

I have my scan on Feb 2nd and at this rate we are going to probably make a last minute decision!

anj0409

Hallil:

NO TELLING ANYONE THE NAME before LO arrives. .

 

I think this is a fair compromise!

Sazhrah

We have already told our names. Those we have told know already not to say a darn thing to me about it one way or another.  Oh well. guess we will just find out in February.

soontobe05

cvl105:

luckyluvr:

If you tell one person, people are going to find out anyway b/c then it's not a secret anymore. Just know that whether you tell people now or in June, you still get that "Surprise" moment; it's just sooner.

Exactly this.

Also, if he has any real hope for one sex or another, or really think it's one or the other...knowing now is better in my opinion.  MH 100% thought that our baby was a boy.  This past week we found out it was a girl.  He was in shock.  Said he had to "Change his whole game plan", etc.  So if your DH is like this at all, I say it's better now to know because I wouldn't wanted MH to feel any sort of shock or "what the heck do I do with a girl" on the day she's born.  I want it to be all excitement.

All of this. We were going to be TG and DH still says we can, but I know how badly he wants to know and how much I want to give him time to adjust if it's another girl. We only plan on having two kids and he (as most men do) really wants a son so it'll be a little disappointing to him if it's another girl even though he'll still be happy. So that little adjustment to the idea thing is what's making me back down and go ahead and find out.  

Sazhrah

soontobe05:

cvl105:

luckyluvr:

If you tell one person, people are going to find out anyway b/c then it's not a secret anymore. Just know that whether you tell people now or in June, you still get that "Surprise" moment; it's just sooner.

Exactly this.

Also, if he has any real hope for one sex or another, or really think it's one or the other...knowing now is better in my opinion.  MH 100% thought that our baby was a boy.  This past week we found out it was a girl.  He was in shock.  Said he had to "Change his whole game plan", etc.  So if your DH is like this at all, I say it's better now to know because I wouldn't wanted MH to feel any sort of shock or "what the heck do I do with a girl" on the day she's born.  I want it to be all excitement.

All of this. We were going to be TG and DH still says we can, but I know how badly he wants to know and how much I want to give him time to adjust if it's another girl. We only plan on having two kids and he (as most men do) really wants a son so it'll be a little disappointing to him if it's another girl even though he'll still be happy. So that little adjustment to the idea thing is what's making me back down and go ahead and find out.  

I know he wants a son too. We both think it is a boy but if it is a girl I know he will be happy but will want to adjust. He is really close with DD so I didn't think it would affect him that much but I suppose we never really know how a man's mind works.

smcd7279

Turtle143:

I'm team green, DH won't get in the boat but he's totally fine with not telling anyone else. He just wants to "be prepared" for himself. I'm not sure what kind of prep he'll be making since he can't make any gender-specific decors or comments.

My DH is saying the same thing about having to know. He says it will put his mind at ease to know. I told him it doesn't really matter because either way it's a baby. But I guess what ever helps him to not be stressed out. I know he won't tell anyone, but I was kinda hoping he would just wait and be surprised. Oh well

Birdies08

Another compromise might be to find out, but wait to share until your shower. You could make it a bet/game (if you're into that) and then the people who guessed right would get to know right away! 

I suggest that because, if MH had wanted to find out, one of my concerns was getting everything pink and flowery or blue and sports themed- I'm just not into that type of baby stuff.  Originally I had wanted to find out and not tell people, but MH didn't want to know, and now I'm glad he convinced me to be team green. It's frustrating if you don't agree, but hopefully you'll find a good compromise.