Tearing Question....

ClariC

I've read a lot of the birth stories and I've noticed a lot of people have 3rd degree tears and such....does everyone tear? Does it bother a lot afterwards? (like when you go home are you in agonizing pain?)

We're going to TTC soon and I'm scared of the whole birthing process as it is and when I found out about the tearing I got even more nervous!

TIA and congrats to all the new moms!

lily225

I didn't tear, but had an episiotomy. At the time I couldn't have cared less. He gave me a shot to numb me first, which I hardly felt. Didn't feel anything afterwards.

The recovery was hard though. I was really sore for a good week or two. Walking, getting up out of a chair or bed, was really hard for a while. Going to the bathroom took a lot longer becuase there are just more steps involved (go, use the squirt bottle, which is heaven, blot dry with tp, reaply the salve (sp), spray and a tucks pad, get to a standing position and pull up pants).

This time aroudn I am going to ask not to be cut. If anything (besides what I've heard/read) I would like to see the difference. They say tearing is better for an easier recovery. I will try to use perineal massage and hot washclothes to stretch the area out. We'll see what happens...

Good luck with TTC!

ready4number2

I tore with my 7 year old.  It just started and they caught it so they did a quick episiotomy. Only 2 stitches, I'm a huge wuss and I didn't even know they did it.  The only thing was you have to clean really well and its sore for about a week.  They gave me tucks pads to soothe the area.  Trust me that was the least painful part.

Mrs.ClariC

Thanks so much! I appreciate the feedback and I will definitely watch the movie to learn some more, I just want to be mentally prepared to deal with the changes=)

mjcleve

I had a minor tear with a few stitches.  It was hard getting in and out of bed the first few days, but once we were home it wasn't that bad.  It still hurt, but definitely not agonizing and I could get around just fine.

spicycrab

They did an episitomy on me instead of tearing - I had asked my doctor a few weeks ahead of time to let me tear instead of cut me but she said tears were dangerous and a controlled cut was better. Not sure I believe her but I asked that they do perinium message and whatnot to help prevent tearing or a cut....buy when they were doing the message, it hurt SO bad I asked them to stop. She asked me if she could do an episitomy and I said yes - at that point, you just don't care. I will say that it was the worst part of my recovery - took about 2 weeks before I felt a little more normal down there. The first poster really hit it on the head with the going to the bathroom thing - that pretty much sucks.

I would love to not get cut this time around but I know when it comes down to the heat of the moment, I won't care what they do and will deal with the consequences after.

Try not to stress too much about delivery - it really isn't that bad. I did it without an epidural and plan to go all natural again.

ashabell

I chose to tear...if that makes sense.  Was offered epis, but decided to let body do what it had to without being cut.  I know of one person who didn't tear at all, and even she makes fun of herself for how "loose" she must have been that a 7 lber could fit out her.

3sthecharm

I have delivered two babies so far no tearing whatsoever. The last dr told me she dident think the baby was going to come out without an episiotomy. i told her she didnt have a choice I wasnt getting an episi unless the babys heart beat bottomed. We disucssed journal articles as I delivered without 1stitch needed.  Episi's f make you tear more than you would have otherwise. Think of trying to stretch electricl or duct tape pretty hard to tear right? Put a nick at the top and then pull. Tears pretty easy then!I am literally writtng no episiotomy on both thighs in marker before this delivery

cgsmommy

i had 4th degree tearing & an episiotomy....it was hell for the first 2 days but literally it healed SO fast.  Yes, the bathroom process was involved, but I was taking DS for walks around the neighborhood by the time he was 5 days old.

The body is an amazing thing and it heals much quicker than you'd think.

saythemagicword

I had a 3rd degree tear with my first - it took about 16 weeks to heal - not pretty.... With my second I got a new doc who was pro episiotomies - and I had an episiotomy with my second baby (who was bigger than my first baby) and it took about 3-4 weeks to heal.  I would choose the episiptomy any day of the week over the tearing. 

lizardct

I second the previous posters- if you read the medical studies, they say it is better to tear. However, if you read lots of birth stories you will see that midwife-attended births almost never have 3rd degree tears. Only with OB's- again because of the hospital system.  I haven' thad a vaginal birth but my C-section was very painful and I would take a difficult vag birth any day!

Also, keep in mind that if you have an episiotomy, you're likely to tear along that scar in a next birth.  Doctors don't like to think ahead in that way, or to encourage women to think that way, but it's true. 

annak23

I had an episiotomy because the baby's heartrate dropped & they needed to get her out stat! & then teared beyond that, though I didn't feel it being done until she was done stitching me up it was so sore!!! I was sore for almost 6 weeks after giving birth, the stitches are the worst! You always need the squirt bottle of water to cool the burning after peeing & then put hemerrhiod cream on to also cool the burning, but it does help.  I still felt my stitches up to a year later when wiping.  I hope we aren't making you scared, but I wish someone would have told me what it was like before I had a baby.

CanadianGurl

Even with my 4-pound, 33-weeker I tore quite a bit. My doc prefers to let tear and usually does not do episiotomies. Yes, true that the tearing is the worst part, but it certainly isn't the end of the world. It hurts, but it heals. And the second that baby is out, he/she is all you're going to be worried about, and for me at least, it was like the second they held up that teenie tiny face, the pain was gone. After the birth for the days following, I found my baby to be such a distraction, I didn't have a chance to think about the pain of the healing. For me, it all happened so fast I didn't have time in the delivery room to be worrying about it, you're mind will be racing.

ali-1411

My first was 6 lbs 12 oz and I had an episiotomy that took 2 stitches

My second was 8 lbs 3 oz and I didn't tear at all, or need the episiotomy.

jpowell3

When my son was born he was 9lbs 2oz, I only had a minor tear that did not require stitches. I'm sure it depends on your body adjusts, when I get pregnant again I plan on telling them no episiotomy