Do you have a will?

Cooper81

I'm embarrassed to say we don't yet.  We've made all the important decisions, we just have to get it on paper and notarized. 

Who are you leaving responsible for your child/children? 

We talked for a few weeks about it and we both decided on my sister.  She is single and only 26, but honestly we feel like she would be the best fit.  She is way more responsible than my BIL's (in their mid 30's) and we feel like out of all our options she would raise our children in the way we would.  We plan on arranging things so that she would have more than enough $ to support DS and any future children and of course we live within miles of both of our parents (and she has a good relationship with my IL's) so she would have tons of help.  When we talked to her about it she was so touched, we told her that we would give her a while to think about it because we know it's a huge responsiblity, but she immediately said yes.  She also agreed that she would take on full responsiblity of the zoo too, she knows how important it is to us to know that our whole family, furbabies included, would be taken care of.

salc21

We're not even due until 5/2, but we're already having this conversation and want to get a will set up. Fortunately I have a little help since DH is an attorney, but I like to be organized and well planned. I feel like the will is the easy part - the harder part is where he will go if something happens to us! DH has three siblings and I have one sister who is a different religion, so we aren't considering her solely for the fact that we want to make sure our son grows up with the same religion as he is born with.

daisyterp

No we don't.  It's pretty bad that we don't.  the only thing that allows me to sleep at night is the fact that we don't travel w/o our kids and frankly I am rarely away from them.  Chances are if something awful and catastrophic were to happen it would either happen to all 4 of us or just DH.  Not a good reason to not have one, but really the only reason I can sleep at night w/o one. 

Dh does have life insurance and everything else is "in order" in terms of beneficiaries, etc. 

mrs. remy

I am embarrassed to say we do not either. Its been on our to-do list forever and we really need to get cracking on it.

weezie825

We do not.  I know it will be a fight when we need to discuss who would get LO (and any future children). 

Option 1- DH's brother and his wife.  My SIL is infertile.  They have tried for a baby for years and have not been able to have one.  DH would want them to have our child(ren).  However they live 4 hours away from everyone else in our family, both sides.  I think that if we were suddenly gone it wouldn't be right to take our child(ren) away from ALL the rest of their family too. 

Option 2- My sister.  But DH disagrees with their parenting style.and does NOT get along with her husband. 

FieryIrishAngel

DH and I traveled overseas without DD in 2009, and I insisted that we have wills, POAs, guardianship, all laid out before we left the country.  We'd already made the decisions but hadn't put it in writing yet.  My sister is a legal secretary, so it was very easy to get it all together, notarized and filed - and free!

Should something happen to DH and I, my mother will take our daughter.  She has a spacious home, is madly in love with our girl, and makes very good money plus has substantial savings.  And she's my best friend in the entire world.  We may not always agree but I know without a doubt that she would take the best care of my girl that I could possibly imagine.

As a back-up, should something happen to my Mom that prevents her from taking on a child, my oldest sister has been named.  She has a teenage daughter but she's going through a divorce and her financial situation isn't ideal for supporting another child.  She'd love her and she'd certainly do the best she could, and I know they wouldn't end up in poverty, so I'm comfortable with it.

My other sister is very religious and we are very not, so while I know she loves my daughter and she's raised 4 kids of her own and is comfortable, financially, my husband and I adamantly do not want our child(ren) raised in that religion.

DH only has one sister and she's utterly dysfunctional and keeps moving her own two kids up and down the east coast to escape bills.  So, yeah, no.  As my mother and sister (who is considerably older than I) get older and are maybe less able to take on a child, we'll probably change the guardianship to my cousin who's younger than I and, by then, should be established in a career and settled enough.  We'll talk to her about it before we do it, of course, but I don't think she'll be against the idea.

I was against leaving our child(ren) to friends only because I'd be worried that it wouldn't be so easy for our family to stay involved.

KRMac

Erm, no.  We do not, mainly because we also have not decided who would get DS. 

My vote is my parents, since they spend the most time with him other than us, have the space for him and would raise him the way we would.  DH thinks they are too old (they are in their late 50s, so not young, but not like 80 either.)  Even though they live in PA and the ILs live in NY, they would do a good job of making sure he would see DH's family too.  (That would not be the case if the ILs were to get him.)

DH's vote is for his sister and BIL...who don't have any kids and live in California, across the country from everyone else.  Um no.   Maybe if they moved back here, but my BIL is kinda strange.  They are DS's godparents though.

nutmegger

We don't, but we should.  The one thing holding me up is determining guardians for DD.

I really, really don't want any of DH's family to be her guardian.  The only real option would be his sister, but she still lives with her parents and knows nothing about kids.

I'd love to have my sister as guardian, but she's still a student (until May at least), and doesn't yet have a job lined up and doesn't know where she'll be living.  The job market is really tight for what she's looking for (tenure-track professor), and everything is up in the air with her for the time being.  After the next 3-6 months we should be able to choose between her and my parents and just get this done.  The only drawback to this is that DD would have to move out of state to live with either of them.

KathrynMD

We don't. ..  we probably should pick guardians.

Its hard though

my parents are too old and my sister is out because she's BSC

DH's sister and her hub are the best option, but her DH has some serious health issues and I wouldn't want to burden her w/ DD if something were to happen to her husband and she was widowed.

DH's brother and his wife are really well off and I know they would gladly step in, but I really think they've spoiled their kids and are very bratty and materialistic which I don't like. 

DH's parents are good too, but his dad is old.  IDK