I had a feeling...

pregnantchica

**********************WARNING.....DD pic below**************************************

 

 

that this pregnancy was not going to last.  From the beginning, I had my doubts.  How can I be so fortunate to have another miracle?  What did I do to deserve two beautiful blessings? 

We decided to start trying last summer bc it tooks us 8 months to get pregnant with dd.  This time around we got pregnant within the first month.  We were happy and estatic...we found out around dd 1st bday.  Better yet, my bff was also pregnant...just two weeks ahead of me....but at night, I would wonder why/how was I so fortunate.

Two weeks ago I began bleeding a bit and it has basically gone downhill from there.  Three gyn appts, two u/s, two weeks of bed rest, and a blood work (just to confirm one more time) later...it was confirmed that the baby just wasn't developing.  I knew it in my heart...I know my body...my skin and breasts started to become really itchy....this is what happened after I had dd....so I knew. 

The worst of all this is those stupid **** technicians...I know that they are not to say much...but, damn.....you left me on the table with f***** jelly on my belly and walked away for 15 mins!!!!!....until the receptionist/nurse (I don't know what her position is/was) came in to tell me that she was sorry.  I felt like saying something to her on my way out, but it wasn't going to come out right, so I kept my mouth shut.

Tomorrow I go in for my d & c....really don't know what to feel right now, but I do know that most painful part will be when I'm no longer carrying my angel. 

Fallon621

Awww Marisol I am so sorry that you lost your precious baby.  its such a very sad thing to go through and puts us in the darkest place ever.  I am glad that you found this board though because it is a great source of comfort since all of these ladies unfortunatly are going through the same thing.  I have found so much strength in these woman being that some of them have had 2-3-4 and 5 losses!  So when I feel like i want to give up i read their posts and realize that if you want something bad enough not to give up.  I hope you find the same here. BTW youre DD is beautiful.  I found that having DS has really helped me these past few weeks he keeps me going and if it were not for him I probably would not even get out of bed sometimes.  Good luck in your journey and we are here for you!   PM me if you ever just want someone to talk to.

lauren.cus

First, your baby is adorable!!! So cute. Second, I'm so incredibly sorry about your loss. Don't let that make you think you don't deserve perfect though. We all deserve perfect and no one deserves to have this happen to them. It is so incredibly unfair. I hope were able to offer you some support as we all go through this pain together. I know it's going to be difficult having your best friend still pregnant. One of my great friends was about 6 weeks ahead of me and it's difficult to find your place again. Some days you'll be over the moon for her and some days you don't want to hear anything about it (at least that's how it is for me). Hopefully none of us will be here long:).

WifeyWynn0626

I'm so sorry for your loss. And I agree with everyone else, your LO is so freaking cute! I hope your surgery goes well. I also had a D&C, so if you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

pregnantchica

Thanks ladies!  I laugh at my post bc I see that I'm pretty upset with the tech....

Dd does make me feel better and how fortunate I am to have her.

I had my d &c this morning and it wasn't as bad as I thought....thank god!  The nurses at the hospital were awesome.  I'm feeling okay right now...I can get thru this...