Does it have to be a surprise?

manic mama

I have a feeling my sis is going to have a surprise shower for me and I don't really want that. Anyone else deal with this?

I do have time, just 14 wks along.

jay.otter

I think you just need to suck it up and deal. What's so bad about a surprise shower?

MomTo3Js

I really hate surprise parties for myself but at the same time I think it's a wonderful gesture for someone to do that! It's really a nice thing for someone to do for you!

futurehuber

Do you not like surprises or do you not want a shower?  Since you have plenty of time, I say just keep bringing up shower discussions.  If this is your first baby then you can only assume that you will have a shower and it will be hard for them to pretend like you aren't.  If this isn't your first baby, maybe that's why they want to do a surprise??  I know my mom had surprise showers thrown for her after she had her first since people wanted to throw her showers even though she didn't think it was necessary.

RoxyLynn

I take it you're in the northeast?  I'd never heard of "surprise showers" (like a surprise party, but a shower - right?) until coming to The Knot.  Best as I can tell, they're strictly a NY/NJ/PA thing.

Personally, I think it's chancey.  What if the guest of honor has other plans?  A friend of mine in Philadelphia said that, after waiting OVER AN HOUR for the guest of honor to show, she (my friend) left.  Or what if she's out running errands and shows up looking like crap at her own shower???  I don't get this business of not asking the guest of honor for a date that's good for her and a guest list.

I guess the best way to handle it is to talk up friends' showers that they're looking forward to - "Amy's shower is in October, and she's so looking forward to it" etc.  Make them up if you have to. 

manic mama

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to seem ungrateful. This is my first baby and my hubby and I will be celebrating our first anniversary Oct. 6. I remember my bridal shower and pretending I didn't know about the shower. It made it rather stressful.

And I guess I'm not crazy about big surprises that include more than 50 ppl. Thanks for the feedback, all!

Oh, and I am in Pa./Del. Maybe it is a northeast thing to surprise pregnant women in their third trimester!

RoxyLynn

More than 50!!!! Holy hell, I've been to smaller weddings than that!  I just can't imagine a shower so big!

almost_mrs._culotta

I hate surprises in this case too.  Mine was up in the air for about 4 months.  First my MIL wanted to plan the whole thing and was just waiting for me to get my act together and give her a finished guest list.  By the time I got the guest list finished, she decided she was too old to plan the shower and so I thought I might have to go without.  Luckily two of my girlfriends decided to take charge of it and get it done, and invites are going out this week! 

mandabear324

I wouldn't mind if it was a surprise.  A shower is a shower!