Houston Babies

Weaning guilt...help

DD is still happily BFing, (she never took a bottle) but only nurses 4 times a day now at 9 months.  I am on the verge of stopping BFing all together.  I feel like I need my body back.  I am just not myself (since DD reduced her feedings from 7 to 4) and I want to lose weight and feel better about me.  I still have 8 pregnancy pounds and about 10 more after that I'd like to lose.  I just feel off.  

I feel like a bad mother.  As soon as I start thinking those things I start feeling guilty, that I am taking something away from her too soon. I know that 9 months is great, that I gave her a lot and please don't think that we're going to stop cold turkey.  Her pedi gave me transition formula to try with her and see if she'll take it from a sippy at lunch time.  I know it will take time to transition her from the breast to a sippy since she's never taken any fluids from anything but me. 

Anyone else deal with these feelings and how did you cope?  How did you wean?  I just don't know how to deal with the guilt and emotions that come with weaning. 

Thanks gals! (I posted this on MC too)

Re: Weaning guilt...help

  • I had the same feelings when I weaned Rena off, and she was only 3.5 months. But you know about my BF issues/supplementing and it just wasn't working. I kept telling myself that if I'm happier, then Rena will be happier too. It took me a couple weeks to get over it, but then I was ok. 

    I know your situation is different though, since Amelia has always BF.  But you did it for 9 months and that is a HUGE accomplishment. Most people don't make it that long. I know Amelia will do great! And I'm sure the transition won't be too bad since she's already down to just 4 times a day.
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  • I only made it 4 months.  9 months is a MAJOR accomplishment.  I felt very guilty even thinking about stopping.  However, it was more than I could handle.  I weaned slowly.  I didn't have any issues until it was time to drop the last remaining feeding.  I knew that there was no turning back.  I felt awful..  However, in about a week things were 100% better.  I knew I had made the right decision.  I am happier, my baby is happier, and DH can be more involved and let me sleep in on Saturday..  Yippee...  You've given her a huge gift..  It's okay to take yourself back.. 
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  • I started to wean at 9 mo as well.  I felt a lot of guilt because things really were going so well.  For us it was the quantity that he was taking that just ended up being too much.  They would feed him 25oz a day while he was at daycare and even though I could pump that much it was a source of constant stress.  I was staying up late and waking up early just to get in an extra pump session so I could send him to dayacre.  I was so much happier after we stopped and a happy mommy is a happy baby.  Kian had no trouble with the bottle since he had been on one from 3 mo but he didn't like formula at all.  We had to wean very gradually - 1oz formula mixed with 5oz breast milk.  It took a while but I'm glad we did it and I think it will also be good for Amelia to start with a sippy cup to ease her transition to whole milk down the road. 
  • I did a super gradual wean from 12 to 18.5 months - but DS was very attached to it, and I think he still nursed at least 6 times a day at a year.  I think you need to go with your gut and do what feels right for both of you.  9 months is a long time - so don't feel guilty whatever you decide.  Take it slow.  Having someone so dependent on you can be wonderful at times and exhausting at times - so your feelings are very valid.  As far as the weight - some people have had great success with Weight Watchers while still nursing.  I was a lucky one that struggled with keeping weight on while nursing but am putting a little weight on now that I've weaned.  Some drop extra weight when they wean... so it seems to affect everyone differently.
  • I weaned completely when DD was about 8 months. I went out of town for 5 days and knew that I wouldn't be able to pump that much so I started to introduce the bottle way in advance probably around 6.5 months old. She did not like the formula or bottle at first but I just kept working with her until she finally would drink it (around 7 months or so).
    When I got back from my trip I nursed her one time and she took to it but I wasn't producing enough for her. I finally gave in and started her on a bottle 100% with formula. Since I had been introducing her to formula and the bottle for a few months before my trip she didn't seem to mind. I think it bothered me more than her.
    I think 9 months is awesome and don't feel bad - you have given her a great start. I think once you both get use to it you will be happier and you won't feel guilty. It feels liberating actually to have your bewbies back hehe. GL!

  • It wasn't easy when I stopped when he was about 8 mos. I pumped another month -- my hormones took a nose dive. Be prepared for that possibility.

    DS quit because of ear infection pain. I pumped that last month and then quit cold turkey.

    He never had a problem taking the bottle from time to time, though. He just went full time to the bottle. Heating it can help if there is resistance to it; there is also recommendations of moving to half formula, half bm. We never had to do that; he just ate whatever from whatever....your baby may be agreeable too about it?
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