Infertility

Might have to consider other options....

So, my husband and I have been talking and we are scared that it is that time to start exploring other options to have a child.  To make a long story short, I have had 7 early miscarriages (all before a hearbeat is seen and many chemical pregnancies).  We have been tested for ALMOST everything under the sun and nothing has ever come up as a huge marker for miscarriage.  We thought maybe it was a chromosome issue, so we moved to IVF with CGH testing.  Out of the 8 embryos tested, only 2 came back normal.  I thought that was our answer, until my betas came back. Beta #1- 57 and #2- 62.  Didn't look good.  Beta #3 is tomorrow.....which will probably go down, meaning another chemical. 

I know I may be jumping the gun as I haven't sat down with my RE just yet, but we have been through so much.  I know the end result is that I want to be a mother and have a family, but I am just so sad that I may never be able to experience pregnancy and carrying my own child.  Has anyone ever looked into gestational surrogacy?  I am definitely open to adoption as well, but I know my husband is still hopeful for us to have a biological child, which is why I may be starting the research about gestational surrogacy. 

Not sure why I am posting.  I just feel that you girls understand the rollercoaster ride that we are all in and I feel most comfortable "talking" with you about these issues.  Thanks for listening! 

After 1 IUI, 3 IVF's with CGH/CCS testing, 10 early miscarriages, and lots of tears and frustration, we are moving on to Domestic Infant Adoption!  We are so excited to see what the future holds.

Re: Might have to consider other options....

  • Oh gosh, I am so sorry for all you have been through, that is so much for one couple to have to bear. 

    I am pursuing both another (and final) IVF cycle as well as a domestic adoption.  Also have some m/c's under our belts.  Trust me, adoption solves the problem of not having a child, but it is not a cure for infertility.  There is still a grieving process to go through when you adopt, confronting that you did not give birth to your child and that is hard to process. 

    We didn't choose the surrogacy route, but there are success stories on here, you might want to ask on SAIF as well.

    Good luck sweetie, and post here anytime!

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  • awww sweetie!  That is a heck of a lot to go through!  I have no words of wisdom on a carrier..  I just wanted to say I am sorry and I cant imagine the pain you are faced with.  Ive had 1 m/c so far and I cant imagine having those ups and downs like you've had.  I just wanna give you a big fat hug!!! 

    I have no idea how to find someone to help you.  But I will say that I ran into a woman in the hospital when my sister delivered.  She had a gestational carrier and the baby was just born and she was soooo excited!  She said that she took some hormones or something that even allowed her to breastfeed!  I had no idea that was possible!    Good luck!  Let us know what you find out!

    TTC#2: septum removed, 2 losses, Stage 2 Endo, thin lining, slight MFI
    iui #5 2/7 + 2/8 = BFP!! 11 dpiui
    Beta #1 2/18 11dpiui= 46, Beta #2 13dpiui 150, Beta #3 16dpiui 584!!
    u/s revealed triplets! Baby B 3rd loss 8w2d. Twins! EDD 10/31/11 * c/s scheduled 10/12/11 My NEW BLOG Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • I am so sorry for you losses.  There are a few people on SAIF who have used Gestational Carriers.  I have done some research on it and it definitely gives you options.  ((HUGS))
    May 06: Natural PG= m/c, July 09: TI= m/c, November 09: TI=BFN, December 09: IUI= c/p
    IVF#1: start stims 1/26; ER 2/8; ET 2/13= BFN; FET#1: May 2010= m/c *NEW CLINIC Jan 2011* IVF#2: start stims 1/12; ER 1/22; ET 1/27= BFN; IVF#3: TBD
    ~SAIFW/PAIFW~
  • Thanks Girls!  I really appreciate your responses. 

    After 1 IUI, 3 IVF's with CGH/CCS testing, 10 early miscarriages, and lots of tears and frustration, we are moving on to Domestic Infant Adoption!  We are so excited to see what the future holds.

  • I am so, so incredibly sorry for your losses :( You have been through waaaaay too much. (((hugs)))

    TTC since 8/09
    DX: PCO, ENDO, High NK, MTHFR
    8/10 = Lap to remove Endo

    2 Femara TI, 3 Follistim IUI = BFN & 1 c/p
    IVF #1 - BFP - boy/girl Twins!

    Ben and Reese born at 34w2d!
  • I am sorry for all you've been through. We are also facing the end of our infertility journey. The clock is really ticking for us because we'll be 40 and 43 next year and I know a lot of adoption agencies have age limits.

    At my second opinion RE visit today I was given the name of a surrogacy agency that is supposedly "affordable" but was still shocked at the dollar amount--$45k to $60k. I'm just not sure that I'm willing to spend that much $$. It will be a last resort for us.

    Here's the site, if it helps: https://www.ggscnw.com/costs of surrogacy.html

    Forty-something TTC since 12/2007 3 failed IVFs DE cycle #1: BFP then D&E at 12 weeks due to neural tube defect DE cycle #2: Chemical FET #1: BFN Lining issues, pursuing adoption
  • I am so sorry for all of your losses. BIG (((hugs)))
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