Wow, need advice/input on DS

B&BFlemfam

Ok, I'm a mother of two young, precious boys who are polar opposites.  They are 13 months apart with completely different temperaments.  DS #1 is such a joy, life of the party and enjoys life and has been that way since he was 3 months old (he had colic) meanwhile, DS #2, has been so challenging since he was 6 months old.  DS #2 is now 16 months old and I am struggling on how to parent him. You think you get it figured out with the first child and then you have number 2 and it has totally thrown me for a loop.

Please let me know if your child does any of these and the best way to handle it.  I cried yesterday because I am totally at my wits end and I have got to figure this child out.  DS #2 is a cute little red head, so once he starts acting out, everyone just says that's that red hair coming out.  He can be so sweet at times, but othertimes, you wonder what has taken over him

-he screams bloody murder EVERYTIME you change his diaper (not just squirming, he's screaming, kicking, and pitching a fit)

-he gets very angry if you tell him no or take something away from **he stiffens his body and slings his head back) you cant hold him, bc he literally straightens body and once you put him down, he gets even more mad and starts to hit or push you away

-he hates his bath and refuses to get in the tub..again screaming

-he is VERY shy and if anyone that he isnt familiar with looks at him, he gets scared and puts his head in my chest

-I cant leave him in the nursery at church bc he wont let me go and if I do try to leave, he screams the ENTIRE time i'm away

-He normally only lets me, my mom, MIL hold him and that's ( I thought you separation anxiety should have passed by now)

**All of this could be completely normal and I'm worried for no reason, I just know DS#1 wasnt like this at all and that is all I have to compare it to.  I feel like I cant go anywhere because he will pitch a royal fit and throw things.  Is this normal?  Is there anything to the red-headed fireball?

 

Mrs.Hizzo

I don't know about the red-headed thing, but I think everything you describe can be very normal for toddlers. It must be rough having your "challenging" child come second. My oldest is the more, um, spirited of my two, always has been. So with my laid-back youngest, I always feel like I've paid my dues with the first and deserve to enjoy how mellow and happy he is all the time. If it were reversed, I'd probably wonder what the heck was wrong with me/ my kid, since the first was so easy.

They're all different. Mine are night and day, but they are both wonderful in their own ways. My oldest is higher-maintenance, to be sure, but that's just him. Your little guy probably just isn't quite as easy going as your first. 

emberlee3

I read the Happiest Toddler on the Block, which helped me understand my DS's personality better.  He is my only child, but he is so different from my niece and other children I've been around.  He definitely fits the "cautious" type in the book.  It really is a helpful book, even if some of it sounds goofy.