3rd Trimester

Do I need to get over it?

So I've got something I need help thinking through right now: DH has a potential new job in the spring and part of the process is that he has to go to the job site at the end of the month (Jan 29-30) for a weekend. That means he will have to leave Friday night and not get back until Sunday night. 
This is our first pregnancy, I'll be 34 weeks by then with the twins...and the thought of him being away makes me anxious. There's a part of me that wants him to forego the early afternoon Saturday event (possibly just a formality and not really necessary) and just go out there Saturday night, do his meeting on Sunday and get back Sunday night (so he's essentially just gone 1 night and 1 day as opposed to 2 nights and 2 days). The main thing is feeling like I need him around JIC something happens that weekend. 
Am I being mom-crazy already? What do you think? Do I need to get over it for the sake of his new job? It's all so confusing since everything is just up in the air...
TIA "listening" and for any advice! 

Re: Do I need to get over it?

  • I wouldn't be too worried personally, but I don't know what it's like to be expecting twins, either. Go with your gut!
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  • ugh. that is a tough one.  With twins, you have a better chance at delievering early.  To me, it is a little soon to make the decision on the trip...there is so much that can happen between now and then.  Maybe by the time it is time for the trip, he won't feel comfortable leaving you home alone?  I don't think that you need to get over it, it should be a real concern to you...you don't want something to happen, and him not able to be there for hours. At the same time you don't want him to miss out on employment. How far away is the place he is going?
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  • How far away is it? I would be a little concerned at 34 weeks with twins, but it really depends on how far away he would be. Up to 2 hours, I would be okay with. More than 2 hours, I would be anxious about.
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  • I think its depends on how far away he is, will he paid for any of his time there, how things are going with the pregnancy and if you have people around you to help should something happen early. 

     

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  • He has to take a flight - it's a 15 hour drive otherwise. Ugh...what to do...But this is helpful so far.

    Oh I forgot to mention that I just found out I have GD so that adds some stress and concern...

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  • Do you have any other family around to depend on? Or close friends?  Just in case something comes up, if you have someone you can have "on call" for those 2 days he is gone, I'd feel a little better. 

    My DH is going to be gone for a week in January and I too will be about 33-34 weeks.  But I'm not having twins, so I'm not AS concerned.  But also, I have several friends and my parents close by just in case.

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  • If he is flying you may also want to consider how quickly he will be able to get back, and the cost of doing so (flight insurance etc)... DH started a new job in late Oct and had to miss an u/s because we didn't want him asking for time off. He will also only get a limited (undetermined) amount of time when LO arrives.

    I think the family/ friends question is important too... it makes a difference for how worried I would be in your situation.

    Also, maybe xp on the multiples board (if you haven't already...)

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  • Do you have someone that can be on call or even stay with you for the weekend??? If there is an emergency does his employer know that he will have to hop on a plane and come home??  I think you should be ok but with twins you never know.
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  • I wouldn't worry about it as long as you have someone else close by that you can call. 
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  • I don't blame you one bit for feeling anxious about him being gone at 34 weeks especially since you're expecting twins.  I was in the same boat this weekend because hubby needed to go visit his dad.  I was a little freaked out because it was a 6 hour drive with no option of flying if something happened. 

    Personally, what got me more comfortable with the situation was that it is less likely for something to happen now than it is even in 2 more weeks and I have plenty of family and friends that would be here to help if something did happen.

    I'm not expecting twins though and this isn't my 1st pregnancy.

    If I were in your shoes I would tell him to go.  It's important to your family's future that he gets the job and is prepared, even if it is partly social.  Make sure you have someone available to answer your call if something isn't feeling right with the pregnancy and also make sure that his employer knows that he may have to leave abruptly should anything happen.  As long as everyone is informed of what the situation is, it should all work out!

    Good luck!

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  • I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with twins and can understand your concerns.  I don't think I'd want my DH a 15 hour car ride away at this stage.  I've been pretty much ready for anything to happen since 32 weeks - things can happen early and fast and unexpectedly with twins.  Unfortunately, that week my DH had to have surgery and spent two nights in the hospital.  My Grandmother stayed with me while he was gone, just in case.  If his trip is completely unavoidable, see if someone you trust can stay with you or put nearby family and/or friends on alert, just in case. 
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  • If you were pregnant with just one, I would say your just a worry wart. Since you are pregnant with two, I myself would be nervous. I'm not saying you should be, I don't want to put anyone in a panic, but at least its not for an extended period of time.
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