Is there anything you wish you knew.. — The Bump
North Dakota Babies

Is there anything you wish you knew..

before going into labor?  I know everyone's experience is so different, but is there anything that you thought "geez, I wish someone told me this!"?

Re: Is there anything you wish you knew..

  •  You might know these already but...

    1. You will probably poop on the table.Ick!

    2. Your birth plan might be throw out of the window. I really didn't want an epistomy but K was under distress so I had to be cut in order to get him out faster. I ended up with a 4th degree tear AND cut.You just have to be flexible and realize the most important thing is that they baby comes out safely and healthy.

    3. Your doctor probably won't be called in until the end of your labor. Your nurses will do most of the work.

    Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie DS: Born 2007 TTC #2- Diagnosed with secondary infertility, after 18 months and failed IUIs, we achieved success with IVF #1 DD: Born 2011
  • I can't offer much advice since i had a c-sections but i agree about the birth plan, it may not go as you want it to. GL!

    Photobucket AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • Loading the player...
  • Agreed about the birth plan ... some people are able to stick to it, but C's heart rate was super low so I had to stay in bed in one specific position which kept his hr the highest ... try battling contractions that way! Not easy so i ended up with an epi, but to me all that mattered was that he was healthy so I did what it took.

    Also, no one prepared me for what my lady bits would feel like after labor. Holy cow! Talk about two purple twinkies! (TMI?) I guess I just wish I would have been prepared for just knowing it would be painful to even sit ... I didn't even think about that.

     

  • At one of my last appointments, my midwife told me that it does NOT make you a bad mother to send your baby to the nursery at night. Despite her advice, I still thought there would be no way I would want to let Hayden out of my sight. After laboring all night & giving birth at 4:17 am, I sure did send her to the nursery the next night! Trust me, get the help at night while you can- you will be on your own at home! (They still brought her in to BF- but at least we could rest easier- NBs are surprisingly noisy!)
  • This.

    "Also, no one prepared me for what my lady bits would feel like after labor. Holy cow! Talk about two purple twinkies! (TMI?) I guess I just wish I would have been prepared for just knowing it would be painful to even sit ... I didn't even think about that."

    The good news is that after about a week or so, it gets better. 

  • I wish I knew how quick it could happen - I had zero signs that labor was approaching, and then bam, everything happened at once and my contractions went from mild and irregular to 2 minutes apart and excrutiating as soon as my water broke (not to scare you!) I also wish I knew that even though everything happened quickly, that I would still have plenty of time to get to the hospital and that I would then have time to sleep before delivery so all the fear I felt was for nothing. And finally I wish I knew that the epi would mean an easy delivery. I was so scared of the pain that I had them increase my epi just because I still felt mild contractions. I wish I had not done this because it would have made pushing much easier.
  • I agree with the girls. I too was shocked at how quickly things went from us planning for an induction on Wednesday morning to waking up and having to go early Tuesday morning. I went into labor hoping to go med-free, but in the end you have to do what works best for you and for baby; had I not gotten the epi and something have been seriously wrong with my placenta like it could have been, an emergency c-section could have meant putting us to sleep. And, sending your baby to the nursery doesn't in any way make you a bad mom; Kari just wanted to eat the second night at the hospital, and my nurse had to tell me not to become a human pacifier - she was right, and she and Josh made me feel like I wasn't a bad mom even though I did cry.

    Ultimately, you'll be amazed at how strong and brave you are when the time comes. You make decisions you didn't think you'd be able to make, you'll change your mind to suit the needs of your baby, and end up loving your baby more than you can imagine. It's a real experience.

  • image taramartin2b:

    Ultimately, you'll be amazed at how strong and brave you are when the time comes. You make decisions you didn't think you'd be able to make, you'll change your mind to suit the needs of your baby, and end up loving your baby more than you can imagine. It's a real experience.

    This is so true.  

    I wish that I had known that when the time came, I would feel 100% ok with how things went, even if they didn't go according to plan.  I spent my entire pregnancy stressing out about how her birth would go, & when the time came & everything I had hoped for went out the window, I didn't care at all, as long as my baby girl was healthy.  

    I wish I had known that it is ok to ask for another L&D nurse.  I hated my nurse, but was too afraid to speak up, & that is the one thing I regret. 

  • For me, I had a 2nd degree tear and being stitched up hurt worse than labor for me, and no one told me about that (even my friends that did tear)....I wish I had known that even after you give birth, you still may suffer more pain from being stitched  up...
  • thanks for the info!  :) 
  • image MelVic:
    For me, I had a 2nd degree tear and being stitched up hurt worse than labor for me, and no one told me about that (even my friends that did tear)....I wish I had known that even after you give birth, you still may suffer more pain from being stitched  up...

    Totally Agree.I had a 4th degree tear and the pain during the stitching almost made me pass out. It was AWFUL and way worse than the actual birthing experience for me.

    Also, I had heard everyone say I'd probably poop on the table, but I was so surprised that I didn't because I SO expected it. That isn't to say that after giving birth you may lack bladder control. It took me a few times before I stopped wetting myself; I just couldn't make it to the bathroom, but the nurses are wonderful and are used to seeing everything so don't be shy and ask for help!

  • Even though I'm not PG yet its nice to read what L&D is really like.  I just wanted to say Thank You to everyone that posted something. 
  • image taramartin2b:
     

     my nurse had to tell me not to become a human pacifier

    This! My post-labor nurse sucked ... but I didn't realize it at the time. C wanted to just suckle for hours and so I let him because I didn't know otherwise and ended up getting a major crack in my nipple which made nursing on that side excruciating for the next few weeks! Also, she didn't explain to me how anything worked, where the diapers and wipes were, etc. or what I could/couldn't do so I was a little lost.

    I also wish I would have had someone take more pictures once we were settled in our room  ... and i wish I would have kicked my in-laws out so DH and I could have some alone time. They were seriously there the whole time and we never got to bond as an immediate family.

  • If you want the epi, don't wait too long on getting it.  Even though I thought I was pretty clear, I should have demanded to be checked before getting the epi.  I didn't want it without knowing how far along I was and I felt pressured to just get it, so the next thing you know, I was getting it without knowing that I was already very near the end.  As it turned out, it didn't really even work for me.  I was pissed because if I was going to end up getting it, I would have liked to have experienced what I've heard from other girls: how they slept, had to be told it was time to push, etc.  Now I'm stuck knowing that I felt every second of childbirth and yet can't claim to have "gone natural" because they gave me an epi at the end of my labor when it didn't do any good.

    To follow up on that, I wish I was prepared for how much pushing would hurt.  I guess if you get the epi, you won't have to deal with this.  When anticipating L&D, I was ready for the labor (contractions, etc.) to be awful, but I didn't realize how excruciating the pushing would be.  I truly thought that would be the easy part.  I am glad that the midwife made me wait in between my pushes to allow me to stretch because I had no real tearing, but when I say it hurt like nothing I've ever experienced, I'm not kidding.

    Everyone mentions the poop and I was prepared for it, but not for the amount.  I don't know if it was because I was almost resisting pushing for fear of the inevitable or what, but I feel like it came out for many more pushes than I expected.  I definitely think this was the most tramatic part for DH.

    All this being said, I'm not scared to do it again.  Now I'll just go into it knowing what to expect.

  • image trevess:
    At one of my last appointments, my midwife told me that it does NOT make you a bad mother to send your baby to the nursery at night. Despite her advice, I still thought there would be no way I would want to let Hayden out of my sight. After laboring all night & giving birth at 4:17 am, I sure did send her to the nursery the next night! Trust me, get the help at night while you can- you will be on your own at home! (They still brought her in to BF- but at least we could rest easier- NBs are surprisingly noisy!)

    Carollyn, I thought I was the worst mama in the world for doing this.  I thought there was no way I would send R to the nursery, but I ended up letting the nurse take her eventually.  I asked her to bring her back an hour later because I felt awful, but OMG, I NEEDED that.  By the time everyone left from visiting us at the hospital, I had been up for over 36 hours (and had GIVEN BIRTH in that time).  I was exhausted, & an emotional mess.  That was my last chance to sleep for a LONG time, & I shouldn't have felt badly about giving myself a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.   I still feel bad thinking it, but I should have let them keep her longer...

  • thanks for being so honest girls! 

    -pooping scares me.  I know its normal and the nurses have seen it all, but who wants to poop in a bed with at least a few people staring at you watching you do it?  

    -I've never been in the hospital for anything.. never had to deal with a broken bone or surgery or anything (knock on wood...).  So the thought of all this pain is terrifying!  I guess I assumed if I had a tear, they would numb me up nice and good before stitching me, but it sounds like some of you felt that pain was the worst!  I know not everyone's water breaks, but I think I'd rather that than sitting at home trying to time out painful contractions?  

    -the swelling/bleeding/oozing of the lady bits post birth....  oh my.  I joked with DH that he probably shouldn't watch the birth.... I want him to be able to enjoy that area again :) 

  • image chickymel:

    thanks for being so honest girls! 

    -pooping scares me.  I know its normal and the nurses have seen it all, but who wants to poop in a bed with at least a few people staring at you watching you do it?

    After my water broke, my midwife suggested doing an enema to get everything moving & get contractions started. I was really glad that I did that because it worked to get contractions going, & then, of course, I didn't have to worry about doing this later during birth. You can always ask for one at the hospital, too. Just a thought ;-)
  • image chickymel:

    thanks for being so honest girls! 

    -pooping scares me.  I know its normal and the nurses have seen it all, but who wants to poop in a bed with at least a few people staring at you watching you do it?  

    -I've never been in the hospital for anything.. never had to deal with a broken bone or surgery or anything (knock on wood...).  So the thought of all this pain is terrifying!  I guess I assumed if I had a tear, they would numb me up nice and good before stitching me, but it sounds like some of you felt that pain was the worst!  I know not everyone's water breaks, but I think I'd rather that than sitting at home trying to time out painful contractions?  

    -the swelling/bleeding/oozing of the lady bits post birth....  oh my.  I joked with DH that he probably shouldn't watch the birth.... I want him to be able to enjoy that area again :) 

    While every experience is completely different...

    I did not poo on the table (and this was a HUGE fear of mine). My stomach was a bit upset in earlier labor, so I think I "cleansed" myself.

    My OB did a lot of stretching during delivery (granted, I was pushing for 2 hours, so there was plenty of time for this), & I had minimal tearing.  I definitely felt pinching while my OB was stitching me up, but it was completely bearable.  

    I actually felt pretty good PPD. I took a shower right away, & actually felt good enough to do my hair & makeup, & shave my legs (which made me feel 100x better).   I was definitely sore for several days, but I didn't have any excruciating pain while sitting, etc.  

    I didn't want DH to watch the birth, but in the moment, I told him he could watch as much as he wanted.  He watched every second, & life in the bedroom has resumed as normal (and normal is good). ;)

    So, I understand that everyone is very different (and my next birth experience & recovery may be COMPLETELY different), but it doesn't always have to be awful.  Hopefully you will be lucky, but it definitely doesn't hurt to have a realistic expectation of what it can be like.   

    ETA: The point of this comment was only to tell you that there are always exceptions to the rules, it can be a great experience. I certainly do not want to minimize the pain or trauma that anyone else went through!  Like I said, I understand that each experience is very different.   

  • I learned you might not dilate fully. You can also go backwards. I had a csection after 36 hours and I didn't find recovering bad.
    A & T Since 2009 Parents of A born July 2010
  • image chickymel:

    thanks for being so honest girls! 

    -pooping scares me.  I know its normal and the nurses have seen it all, but who wants to poop in a bed with at least a few people staring at you watching you do it?

    I made my H promise not to tell me if I pooped. So I will just assume that I didn't. Smile I also had never had any real pain before, but I was able to make it through without any pain medication, which was a big deal to me. I didn't think pushing was excruciating, it was having the urge to push and not being able to yet that was the worst part for me.

    I wish I had known that you can not throw up your entire pregnancy and then do it when you are in labor. I had a really long labor and I couldn't keep anything down and that sucked quite a bit.

  • all this advice so far is great.

    I'd say, make sure to speak up if you don't understand something or don't like what's going on. If you don't get along with your nurse, get a different one. If you want your baby to go directly to your chest for skin to skin (not taken away and swaddled) make sure they know ahead of time. Things happen pretty fast when the baby is coming out. 

    Also, be prepared for anything. I wasn't expecting Quinn to be whisked away to the NICU and held hostage there for 3 days. (I'm being dramatic but that's how it felt) I was all ready for blissful rooming in with the baby in the awesome room with the 42" flat screen tv!! Yeah, that didn't happen.I would have been happy to be allowed to spend the night with my baby instead of only being able to visit.

    I'm pretty sure I can claim rights to the worst post partum recovery period on the board. I was not healed in that area for TWELVE weeks. I was in pain every single day but that's mostly from developing a hematoma, which isn't the norm. I hope that you're in the 1 week camp and not the 12 week camp!

    So even though nothing went as planned from the minute she came out, we survived and I have an amazing baby girl! And I'll gladly do it again, but I'm probably going to find a different hospital so if my baby ends up in the NICU again I have a better experience.  

    Siggy Deleted Due to Internet Stalking. Mama to Q, born July 2010
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards