3rd Trimester

? for moms who already have little ones at home...

What are you planning on doing with your other child/children when you go into labor?  I really want L to go with my parents for a couple days while I'm in the hospital.  They will bring her up to visit & see the new baby of course too. 

I know I will have a huge issue though with my MIL because of this.  She always complains that she doesn't get to see L the same amount that my parents do, etc, etc, etc.  She has asked a few times what our plans are when I go into labor & we have just sort of avoided the issue.  My mom's job however is a little bit more flexible and to be honest I just feel more comfortable with L being at my parents.  DH & I talked about it (again) tonight & he is totally fine with L staying with my parents while I/we are in the hospital.  

I was just wondering what you were all planning on doing with your other kids during labor?  I'm 99% sure of what we are going to do...just not sure how to break the news to my MIL.   

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Re: ? for moms who already have little ones at home...

  • We've been planning for months to have DD stay at my grandparents' house. Both of them work at home, and we're over there 3+ times a week so DD is very comfortable at their house. My grandma is great with her and respects my wishes regarding things like what food she eats and when she goes to sleep. They have their own high chair and crib already set up there, and DD has taken naps there so she's used to it. She has tons of toys and books there. My grandparents are able to bring DD to visit us in the hospital whenever we want her there. They also only live 5 minutes from us so taking her there on our way to L&D will be no problem.
    Anneliese Olive 11/5/09
    Hazel Dianna 1/8/11
    Luna Valentine 4/25/13


  • My MIL will watch our LOs. She lives in the town I will be delivering.
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  • We live about 4 hours away from our parents, so close friends of ours are watching DS when I go in to labor (if I ever do...).  Then my parents are driving down ASAP to watch DS during the hospital stay.

    Really, don't worry about making MIL feel bad.  It's your kid.  Do what will make you feel most comfortable.  You're MIL will get over it.

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  • In-laws are camping near by 2 weeks before my due date for a week.  Then MIL is staying with us the week before my EDD.  She is a stay at home mom to 11 yr old BIL so it works out nicely, besides I trust her to know what to do with DS much more than anyone else (including my mom)

    I would "blame" it on the flexability of your mom's job and act like you don't want to inconvience MIL, but be sure to make her feel welcomed after the new baby is born and express how much help she will be to be a second set of hands.  At least then you can be there to supervise.

    Rachel and Jeff Married 5.29.05

    Jason is 8

    Elizabeth is 6

    Katherine is 18 months 


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  • We have to rely on friends because we don't have family close. I think wherever your child will be most comfortable is where he/she should stay. Life is about to change drastically for him/her, so making it just a tiny bit easier should be the goal. And less stress for you if you are more comfortable with him/her at your parents as opposed to ILs, especially with knowing your parents are more available. 
  • My dd is staying with my ILs while I'm in the hospital. I decided to ask the for a couple of reasons and the first reason is to be fair. They've only had her once or twice over night while my parents have had her for over night stays a lot more (including 2 week long stays). The second reason is because after my c/s I know I won't be feeling great and I'll want my mom to help take care if me. She obviously can't give me much of her time and attention if she's watching dd. My MIL is taking the week off of work to watch dd so I really appreciate it and she's willing to bring her back to our house the night before we come home so dd can get a good night sleep in her own room and be here in the morning when we bring the baby home from the hospital. My MIL has always respected my wishes when it comes to taking care of my dd so I'm not worried. You need to do what will make you mist comfortable while your away from your LO. The last thing you need is added stress while your in the hospital with a newborn.

    Clomid M/C 8 weeks 2/08 *IVF #1-DD born 3/09
    *Surprise BFP-T18 baby lost at 13w 1/10 *FET #1-DS born 2/11
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  • We're going to call DH's parents, then mine and hope like hell one of them can come up in time.

    I don't think my parents will mind (they'll come up to the hospital and they are busier). Let your husband handle it.

    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
  • She will go to my ILs who live just a few minutes away.  Then I think my parents will take her for a night.  We have alot of family around, so finding a place for her won't be a problem.
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  • he's going to stay with my mom the first night i'm in the hospital.  after that, DH will come back and stay at home with him.  he's very routine oriented and sleeps best in his own bed, so i don't want to throw him off too much when we're already introducing such a big change to him.  
  • Our families live 2 hours away. One of my friends (also DD's sitter during the day) will be watching her if we have to head to the hospital while she has DD or anytime before she goes to bed. If we have to go in the middle of the night another friend is "on call" and will come over and stay here with her.

     My parents wil pick her up once they get here and stay at our house with her if needed.

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  • Unfort, our DS will probably be going to my ILs' house.  My parents are not flying in until after the baby is born, so they are really our only option.  :(
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  • DS is going to my IL's. we know that much but we haven't ironed out all the details exactly. DS has stayed overnight there before so I know that he will be fine, but he still is a mama's boy at night time so I hope he will be ok. I have been asking mH to go in at night instead of me so that DS gets used to other people retucking him in at night.
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  • Wow!  This is almost verbatim how it went down when my second was born.  Same situation, with my parents having much more flexible schedules and MIL being very difficult about it, and even writing me a very nasty email after I broke the news!

    Don't know if your MIL would feel like this is a constellation prize, but we had my MIL in the waiting room during labor (she was the only one) so she was the first grandparent to see and hold DS moments after he was born.  She got to be there for the first pictures, feeding, etc.  I think that helped a little.  But I think no matter what we do, she always feels shafted b/c my mom and I are so close.

    Good luck! 

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  • My MIL is going to be staying at our house while we are in the hospital. She will watch DS and take care of our cat while we are there. 

    I would have had my mother watch DS, since she is our primary child care taker, but her job (mine as well) requires her to be on call a lot, so it wouldn't work out if I went into labor and she was at work.  

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  • DS is staying at the inlaws place.  They live the closest, plus my MIL doesn't work so I know she'll be free when the time comes.  Plus DS is comfortable with both her and my FIL and would be willing to spend the night (or nights) at their place.  If your kid is more comfortable with your mom, then leave her there.  Maybe you can have your MIL be the first to visit at the hospital.  
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