s/o surving the newborn phase
Lady Galadriel
member
Almost daily when I see posts about people wanting to get pg or are pg with a child that is younger than dd I wonder How the Heck can they do it?
I am EXHUSTED daily still, and its a battle to get meals on the table, the kitchen clean, laundry done, homework for ds. Trying to find time for myself is minimal. Its either rest while dd takes her nap or quietly knit. I really NEED the sleep but end up knitting because my todo list just never stops running through my head.
Some days I wish I only had ds and could be at work with other adults. Having already done all the hard work with getting him to a point where he is a little person that doesn't need me every minute of every day. Then I feel guilty that DS is neglected because of how needy dd is, and my need for a few minutes to myself when I can grab them.
I also feel bad for dd that I am not in as good of shape as I was with ds and we don't do half of the activities.
Then add my desire most days to fall asleep before dh gets home because I really NEED the sleep and he goes to bed when ever he wants and sleeps in 3 or more hours later than I do daily. If I stay up with him to hang out I get 5 to 7 hours of sleep and he tends to get 8 to 10. Which makes me ANGRY, but his excuse is he works. Umm, helping both my parents, taking care of the two kids is exhausting.
On the flip side, for dh birthday this year (the 29th) he let me sleep in and for the first time dh got up with dd. Maybe this will happen a little more now that he knows he can succeed at doing it?
Re: s/o surving the newborn phase
Well, you already have 2!! One is just older.
I wanted another when C was smaller. It worked out great. BUT, he is in a stage now (I believe your DD is almost exactly the same age) that I would not even think of having another one. We, luckily (?) got pg when he was in an "easy" stage. lol
Regarding this:
"add my desire most days to fall asleep before DH gets home because I really NEED the sleep and he goes to bed when ever he wants and sleeps in 3 or more hours later than I do daily. If I stay up with him to hang out I get 5 to 7 hours of sleep and he tends to get 8 to 10. Which makes me ANGRY, his excuse is he works. Umm, helping both my parents, taking care of two kids is exhausting"
Yeah, could have said this EXACTLY with my DH. It's frustrating. He gets to sleep in every morning. He wants to go to bed early (yeah...because I can just TELL the baby when to go to bed!) And THEN he takes naps during the day. Hello!!?? I'm tired too!! I worked my entire life before C. Work can definitely be LESS tiring than taking care of a baby and a toddler. At least at work you get a break. My break? Bed time. So that's when I have to catch up on everything, even though I'm tired and I want to sleep too.
so ::hugs:: I feel you.
That sounds pretty difficult. Luckily (in this case, I guess), DH and I have both always worked full time since the baby was born - so we're basically in the same situation and don't have to worry about the whole "i work and you get to stay home so my job is harder" thing. The idea of that has always really bugged me. My only DH gripe is that I still do 90% of the house/finance chores and he will usually complain about stuff that doesn't get done or the stuff I ask for his help with. Like the stuff magically gets done on it's own - NO... it gets done because I do it! That's why most nights, after working 8+ hrs a day on my feet, I come home and don't sit down until 9 pm. Obviously, that's an issue we had long before the baby was born...
But I sympathize on the situation of having an older child and kind of starting over again with a baby. My dd was 12 when Quinn was born and I was definitely a little freaked out at the daunting task of doing it all over again - when you've already created such a self-sufficient creature!
Hugs