If your IL's live local, how many times a week do they see LO?

kimfoley88

I think once a week is perfectly acceptable. MIL lives like 25 minutes away and once a week is the usual for her.. But today, she said she wants to move closer (like in the same apartment community) so she can see DD more.

I must have super bad anxiety, because just hearing that made me burst into tears when DF told me. I feel like she needs to respect that we are our own family, and we do not need or want her here more. I don't know what to do I just needed to vent and try to calm down.

bim38106

My ILs live here about 7 months out of the year... when they're here, we see them 2xs a week. Once for family dinner on Sunday, then they babysit one evening a week to give DH and me a date night.

ETA: they also live 25 mins away.

pregnantchica

Less than a mile away and we are lucky if she comes by once a month!  Lucky me!  If my mom lived this close, she'd be here 2-3 times a week...at least!

brideofscowboy

It depends on your relationship with your ILs.

 

MsAlyss

MIL is 20 minutes away & she makes the effort about once every 2 months to see us. And by makes the effort I mean, calls, makes plans & then cancels at the last minute.  I think she's seen Trev 6 times in the past 14 months of his life.  Sad.  On the other hand, we make the effort about once a week to get together with her.  She cancels at the last minute 9.9 times out of 10. Even sadder.

FIL is 10 minutes away & we see him once every 2 weeks-ish.  

FWIW, my mom & step dad are 10 minutes away & we see them at least 5 times a week.

skyfarm15

brideofscowboy:

It depends on your relationship with your ILs.

 

This.  My IL's are awesome and live only 10 min away.  They watch baby J 2-3 times a week and only come when invited. 

She can do what she wants, but she needs to respect you and your family's privacy.

buboo

brideofscowboy:

It depends on your relationship with your ILs.

 

ITA!

My IL's live 4 houses away, we all have a super close relationship. For example today my FIL stopped by and hung out with me and DS for about 45 min. while MIL was sleeping and then later MIL stopped by about an hour later and stayed for about 1.5hrs. I love it. I get along great with my ILs and DS is always so happy to see them even though it is a few times per week.

I would say we see them on average 3-4 times per week. Totally fine by me:)

Tonya_G

About once a week, sometimes twice, sometimes more, depending.

Tell your MIL exactly what you've said here- that you guys need time to be your own family unit, and while you love when she visits LO, if she moves closer, you're not going to be her second home to come to whenever she pleases. Lay it out, from the get go, so that hopefully boundary issues will be minimal.

Temp159135562506975

my parents live in the same town- maybe 3 minutes from our house.... they see the boys usually once/week, sometimes twice... sometimes only once every 2 weeks.

my mom watches the twins 2 days a month for me and my dad comes over to play with them when she watches them....  and we usually do sunday dinners at my parent's house - but sometimes we skip it.... it's never a big deal.

DH's mom lives 40 min away and we see her about once every month or two, thankfully.

Boizmom

Mine live 5 minutes away and we see them maybe once or twice a month.  They just don't have interest in seeing their grandkids.  It's sad.  My 6 yo doesn't care anymore, he's been let down so many times by them. 

cooperme2871

My IL's live 5 minutes away and they see LO sometimes once a week and sometimes once every two weeks. They never come over to our house, they expect us to take her to them which obviously doesnt happen a lot. The street goes both ways.

sgrl

My ILs live about 40 minutes away and they see her about 2-3 times/month. My parents live an hour away and they start getting pretty whiny if they don't see her at least once a week.

jalaiaa

Every 1-2 weeks. We get along pretty well. 

kittylove

My mom: 2 or maybe 3x a week but most of the time that is durring the day while DH is at work, so he only deals with her once a week.

DH's ex-step dad: 2x a week. We do dinner with him once a week and DH and DS have breakfast with him once a week

Dh's dad: 1x a month. Normally DH DS take him to breakfast or they stop by the airport (he is a pilot) and see him there.

Princess_Lily

My family live 10min away, and we see them 1-2x per week.

 

To respect our family time, I have had to cut back on time spent on the phone and hanging out.  Calls used to be at least 5x per day, and the same getting together. 

risysmama

My MIL lives about 10 minutes away and watches DD during the week so she sees her at least 5x a week.  For the most part, MIL is respectful of our family's space/privacy needs and doesn't overstep her boundaries.  We are very grateful that she is available to watch her and DD loves going to her house.

My mom lives about 20 minutes away and comes over whenever she can, usually 3-5x a week.  She comes over in the afternoon to hang out with us when I get off of work.  DD loves playing with her and it gives me time to prepare dinner uninterrupted or tidy up the house.

TSD

They live 15-20 min away and they see him like once a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. Sometimes mh takes our son to their house on sunday mornings after swim class. The class is near my ILs. Sunday morning/early afternoon is MY time.

madalynnsmommy09

MIL and My Dad are about an hour a away and see her once a month or so. My Mom lives 4 houses away and sees her at least once a week sometimes a few.

ljlkm

MIL is our nanny, so at least 5 days a week. But occasionally on weekends too.

hooker82

ILs live about 2 mins away and they see LO once a week or once every 2 weeks. My parents live a little farther and they see her the same as the ILs. Everyone would like to see her more but I can't handle that much family time. We both have pushy moms.

ryry1977

My ILs live about 10-15 minutes away and we see them probably 2-3 times a month.  So I think she sees your LO plenty!  My parents don't see us but every 2-3 months, they live 4 hours away.

JennRN65

Mine live 2 houses away and see her almost daily.  I love them and thinks it's great they are building a great relationship with Princess B.

My parents, on the other hand, have never even met her.  My dad lives about 20 minutes away.  My mom lives in CA.  Neither one has ever stated any desire to see her.  Their loss.

dmogmo

Daily, except weekends. THey watch DS while we go to work.

Kingston54

Well my situation is different because my MIL watches our LO while we're at work.  So she sees him Monday-Friday and usually on Saturday too because we go out for dinner.

We also go out for dinner with my ILs on Fridays.  Once or twice a week my MIL also cooks dinner for us and we go over.

So they see our DS all the time.  I am lucky to have great ILs though - sounds like you're not so fond of your MIL.

RedQueen1982

MsAlyss:

MIL is 20 minutes away & she makes the effort about once every 2 months to see us. And by makes the effort I mean, calls, makes plans & then cancels at the last minute.  I think she's seen Trev 6 times in the past 14 months of his life.  Sad.  On the other hand, we make the effort about once a week to get together with her.  She cancels at the last minute 9.9 times out of 10. Even sadder.

I have this exact situation going on. DH gets mad that DS sees my parents more than MIL and SIL.