I had a very scary experience during my miscarriage. Right after, I thought I would not be trying to get pregnant again. But now I told my husband I def feel like I want to try again. He told me he would not force me to do anything. (I think the experience scared him a lot.) We really wanted this pregnancy, I want to be sure we are not rushing into trying again out of grief.
I am just curious how many of you are going to begin trying right away. How many are going to wait a while? And if there is anyone who is not?
Re: How many will be/are Trying again?
I would love to try again when given the green light to do so. ( I haven't had my follow up appointment from my D&C, so I'm waiting to see what my doctor says.) DH on the other hand doesn't want to right away. He experienced a loss of his nephew when he was younger and it hurt him deeply since he felt responsible. So it took a lot of trying to get him comfortable to try in the first place, then about 5 weeks to get him to get comfortable with me actually being pregnant. This loss has really set him back and the last thing I want to do is rush into this if he isn't ready.
BFP 1 on 10.30.10 spontaneous m/c on 12.28.10 at 12 weeks
BFP 2 It's a girl! Born 1.18.12 at 39w
Did anyone's doctor actually give a reason why waiting more than one cycle is necessary? Ours said to wait two normal cycles but I stupidly didn't ask for an explanation and now I want to know if just one would be okay.
Not saying I'll be ready after one cycle- this second loss has been so difficult and scary. I honestly can't imagine going through this a third time and not going crazy. It really sucks but in the end, I want more children so badly. I don't know when we'll try, I am not ready yet emotionally, that's for sure.
Maybe in the spring...
(DS ticker below!)
Loss #6 2014 Loss #7 (chemical) 2014
~DS Born! 2009~
~DD Born! 2013~
The doctor who said I should wait two cycles mentioned two things: 1) I needed time for my body to repair itself/rebuild my uterine lining and 2) Women have a higher chance of having a miscarriage if they conceive right after having a miscarriage. The thing that's so confusing is I know other women on this board have been told this is not true.
I am really eager to start trying again, but I also don't want to do anything to jeopardize having a healthy pregnancy.
I miscarried naturally in the middle of November and my hubby and I plan on trying as soon as I see my OB on January 4. (Don't get me started on how long it's taken him to do my post-miscarriage follow up.)
I've struggled with the same questions your husband has: are we rushing into this to fill the void that was left by the loss of our babies and are we emotionally ready?
I kind of look at this the same way we did when we decided to stop trying to prevent getting pregnant . . . if we wait for the perfect moment (or in this case, until we're done grieving), that time may never come up.
I'm certainly not trying to replace my LOs ('cause God knows that if I could have them back, I would take 'em), but I didn't realize how much I wanted to be a mum until I found out I was pregnant.
We plan to try again after 2 cycles per our OB's recommendation. I think the 2 cycles is more for emotional healing than physical. I hope AF begins normally and we start trying in possibly March.
PGAL/PAL welcome
BFP #2 9.12.12, EDD 5.24.13, Baby Boy Born 5.15.13!!
My Ovulation Chart
3 Clomid (100mg) cycles + TI + Trigger = BFN's, Femara + Trigger + IUI#1 = BFN
Femara + Trigger + IUI#2 = BFP!
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will." ~Gandhi
Well, we will be, and hopefully soon! But I am afraid I may have made DH confused. I told him I did want to try again...then a few days later I got very scared about not wanting another loss, so I told him I wanted to wait. After talking with family and doing some deep thinking and soul searching, I realized if I always let this fear overpower me I may never get pregnant again. So even though I am still scared I do know that I want to try again....I just don't know how to tell him without making him think I am going to back out again! Ok Im done...sorry for the ramble!!
I go to my OB on Monday for a follow up. He is a great doctor and understood when we came to him after 10 cycles of BFN that we wanted to start a family. He wasn't handing me medications ore anything, but got me started on testing to make sure everything was good. I got my BFP on my 11th cycle.
I am with everyone on not knowing how long I should take to grieve and be emotionally ready. I am curious to know what my OB may think. In the ER last night, I heard the lullaby song play three times!! It didn't make me sad, but excited for the women who just had their babies. As we were walking out, a pregnant woman and her husband were checking in. She looked uncomforatable but excited. My husband looked at me cautiously but I was smiling. Who knows, maybe she had the first baby of 2011. I just hope that I get mine in 2011 too.
My husband and I plan to adopt as well. We had also planned on having a child as well. I know a ton of famalies who have adopted and oh my goodness are these famalies ever full of love!! Good luck to you! Have you looked at adoption agencies or know anyone who can reccomend one? I saw the sweetest story of a safe surrender baby whose adoptive parents found out about him literally hours before. They were in court all morning. ( I work in a NICU and was taking care of their sweet angel). The proceedings were finished and they came to meet thier son for the first time. It was nothing short of AMAZING! I felt so privileged to be there. We got pictures of them touching him for the first time and holding him and made them an album. I cry just thinking about it.
Theres nothing to say that you can not pursue adoption as well as continue testing for yourself. My aunt had adopted a 3 month old and then found out she was pregnant. They are the cutest family and as much work as it sounds, it really works for them.
Good luck to you!! Heres to your family in 2011!!!
We are going to start trying as soon as we get the green light from dr. which I am assuming will be March or April (if everything comes back normal from pathologist reports). I think we will start trying without charting and temping for a month or two and if nothing happens then I will chart. From charting before I have leraned so much from my body so I know what to look for and about when I ovulate but because we were trying to hard to get pregnant it wasn't fun and spontaneous either and I don't want that to happen this time. I just hope my body goes back to normal cycles like it was before. GL everyone!
DD#1 9-4-04 *** DD#2 10-15-07
BFP#3 10-25-10 *EDD 7/1/11 * missed m/c @ 13w3d
BFP#4 7-30-11 *EDD 4/8/12 ~ DD#3 born 4/4/12
Thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement! We had actually always planned to adopt at least one child but wanted to have one of our own first. Since that isn't working out so well for us, we've agreed to start pursuing other options. I've already started researching adoption and agencies in our area and am really excited about the possibilities. Your story warmed my heart and gave me much needed encouragement!
We will start trying again in the next couple of months. I'm still waiting to officially finish this MC and then for AF. My guess is we'll probably really start trying in March/April.
My DH surprised me, and wants to try again as soon as we can, and he has been saying that since we got the green light and the chromosomal results came back as normal. I know that I want to try again--I've always wanted three children (now i have 2 dd's, an angel watching over us, and hopefully our take home baby). we reached all the important milestones up until that fateful appointment. so i'm so scared to try again, and i know i have so many anger issues i'm afraid will carry into another pregnancy (our counselor also suggested i wait until the anger does calm down b/c the horomones in pregnancy only make it worse). my af is due tues or wednesday (4 weeks from the shedding of the uterus after the d & e, according to my dr). i am temping b/c the dr told me i would ovulate, and at least i could predict my af a bit more precisely from that. but i'm honestly not into charting yet. i don't know--plus i'm a teacher and as much as i don't care, i would like not to have to have a baby in sept (and honestly, if i do, guess what, i would be thrilled...just worried financially! we really are trying the mindset if its meant to be, everything is just going to have to work out). so i think for now, our plan is to "try" in february and march and see where it goes from there---we got pregnant with our little boy the first time we tried (i hadn't ovulated in almost 4 months and was completely irregular--i know i o;'d on vacation, and sure enough, a bfp just weeks later!).
but if i don't get my anger in order, it may need to wait. the counselor wants me to try non-medication routes, which i 'm doing b/c all the drugs i could take are cat D, plus i don't think i'm grieving when i'm on the meds. i even started taking my prenatal vitamins 3 days ago...i had stopped them when we learned about our son.
sorry such a long explanation!!! it looks like a lot of us will be moving over to ttcal together then at the same time!
DD #1 born 10/21/03
DD #2 born 2/8/06
DS no hb 11/17/10 at 21w1d, d&e 11/24,demise due to fetal hydrops, from congestive heart failure, probably caused by structural malformation
Our Rango....BFP 2/6/11...hb on 2/23...perfectly healthy, but no hb on 6/9/11 d & e 6/15/2011
Rango's Blog
Thanks girls for all of your responses. And such a variety of them make me feel good to know its alright not to be sure just yet.
I have a follow up apt with my ob/gyn next Tuesday. But when I spoke to her on the phone she said that I should wait 3 months before trying again. I assumed that meant 3 periods, but I'll ask. Anyone who has any questions let me know, I'm still trying to figure out exactly what to ask her.
I def want to try again just not sure when yet. My dr assured me that they would keep a close eye on me after our loss. I think we may wait until May and let nature take its course. Maybe I am being overly cautious but I am a teacher and will be off all summer. Not knowing what the future holds it may be good for me to have the summer off for whatever is in God's plan. Good Luck! Baby sticky dust to us all
We'll always remember our angel baby: BFP 9/24/10, M/C 10/23/10 8w4d
I miscarried on Xmas Eve and I've been devastated.... BUT, we are going to try again as soon as we get the go ahead. My f/u appointment is next Monday and I am anxiously awaiting for it to get here... I just want some answers, IF there are any answers to be given... For now, like most of you, I'm just taking it day by day and hoping I don't have some sort of meltdown in an inappropriate place...
Stay strong all...