Working Moms

Back Up Childcare (Mom watching baby)

When I return to work my mother will be watching DS.  My question is, for those in a similar situation, do you have back-up childcare in case your regular person is unable to watch your LO for some reason?

My mom called me yesterday and told me that she has been called for jury duty for 2 weeks for the time period right after I am suppose to go back to work.  I suppose this situation is not a huge deal, as I can just extend my unpaid leave if necessary.  However, it got me thinking that I need to come up with an alternative.  We do not have "drop-in" childcare centers in my area and the thought of leaving DS with a stranger (nanny or daycare) drives me crazy.... I know tons of people use the services and I am sure this is "new mom" anxiety but it just was not my original plan.  With all the abuse stuff you see on TV, how do you ever really trust a stranger with your baby?  Tongue Tied

Re: Back Up Childcare (Mom watching baby)

  • No, we don't have backup. However, I'm in kind of a unique situation because I only work part time and I make my own hours, so if I can't make it into work for a day or 2 it's not a big deal. If I needed to find a more long term solution, DH has lots of sick time, I can work around his schedule and/or I have other family members in the area for backup.

    Many people I know in similar situations use sick time and they rotate back and forth so one person isn't missing work all of the time. Another option is do you have any SAHM friends? They might be willing to be backup, especially if they're looking to make a little extra money here and there. Or you can ask around to other moms you work with or are friendly with-perhaps they have a nanny who would be willing to help out in a bind for some extra cash.

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  • We don't have a backup either.  Our situation is kind of unique though.  My younger sister also lives in the area, so if my mom can't watch her for whatever reason, I know there's a possibility that she can.

    Also, my work schedule can be fairly flexible.  I have a bunch of comp hours, so if I need to leave early/go in late, it's usually not a problem.  Otherwise I'll use annual or sick leave.  I can also bring DD to work with me if I don't have any alternatives.  There are plenty of people there who keep telling me bring her so they can play with her.  :-)   DH can also work from home sometimes (when he doesn't have meetings).

    Honestly, I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving her at a "drop-in" center right now.  She has reflux & a milk protein allergy (potential other foods as well), and has to sit up for 30 min after every feeding, sleep at an angle, has prescription formula, etc.  I"m sure there are centers that would do this, but I think it's different if it's not an everyday thing for them.

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  • I am in a similar situation.  If my mom is sick it is generally not that big of a deal for me or my husband to take off work.  If she needs extended time off usually my aunt can watch her for me, she is a SAHM.  My aunt loves DD and enjoys watching her so she does not mind being my backup child care.  If all else fails my company as an emergency child care program, although at this age I don?t feel comfortable leaving her at a random center.

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  • I have a back-up plan through my work.  They send someone to my house.  Is it ideal?  No.  But everyone is screened and professional.

    Its either that, or you take a personal day. 

  • imageBellaCapulet:

     With all the abuse stuff you see on TV, how do you ever really trust a stranger with your baby?  Tongue Tied

    Simple - you develop a relationship with someone so that they are no longer a stranger. 

    I imagine that you might someday place your child in school, right? 

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  • this is why we rarely use vacation days ... b/c most of our sick days  and vacation days get used when we have a child who is sick and can't go to daycare.... My mom watches the twins two days a month for me - so far she hasn't had to back out for any reason- but if she got sick or something- i'd just use a sick/vacation day to be home with the kids.

    was your mom accepted into jury duty? b/c if she hasn't even gone yet-  if she says she's the primary caregiver for your child she should get out of it after the first day. This happened to my mom once.

     

  • I know this isn't your question, but based on what I see on the news, it's much more likely that an average child would be abused by a family member than by a stranger. I don't mean to imply your family specifically, but what I mean is that if you use a service, you're getting someone who has been through a more thorough background check than most people's relatives.

    I would pick one of the sittercity.com-type services and arrange for a backup plan.

  • imageMaybride2:
    imageBellaCapulet:

     With all the abuse stuff you see on TV, how do you ever really trust a stranger with your baby?  Tongue Tied

    Simple - you develop a relationship with someone so that they are no longer a stranger. 

    I imagine that you might someday place your child in school, right? 

    Yeah i will place him in school....when he is 5 not 8 weeks old. When he is older he will be capable of telling me if someone is abusing him....not the case with a two month old.  Surely you understand the difference....

  • No, I don't understand.....why don't you explain it to me. *eyeroll* I just don't know what you expect to hear - if you limit the number of people that you trust to take care of your child to one, you're SOL when that one person is unavailable.
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  • I found myself in a rough situation when my DS was about 6 months old and his nanny got very ill.  I had no back up.  We were in a panic, and I vowed never to be in that situation again.  We now have a few layers of back up for our nanny.  We have no family in town, so we pay for our back up.  I interviewed some part time sitters who would be available on call, and we also use them for date nights.  We know them and trust them, and it's worked out so well.  

    I think it really depends on your work situation.  My husband is in surgery all day long, so he can't exactly take a sick day on a whim.  And, I have a demanding job that requires a good bit of travel, so many times, it's hard for me to take a sick day.  Plus, it's important for me not to be constantly calling in sick.  I think it's umprofessional.

     I hope that helps you.   

    (ETA:  I take a sick day when my son is sick, but not when my nanny is sick.  When my nanny is sick or unavailable, we use our back up sitter.  Just to clarify!) 

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  • Absolutely. I have backup childcare, and backup for her, and backup for her.

    I found my childcare provider on Craigs List, so I paid for a criminal background check, called her references, and ultimately trusted my gut.

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  • imageMaybride2:
    No, I don't understand.....why don't you explain it to me. *eyeroll* I just don't know what you expect to hear - if you limit the number of people that you trust to take care of your child to one, you're SOL when that one person is unavailable.

    If you really don't understand that concern than I must say that we just have different ideas of what a good mother is.  What personal offense exactly did you take to my original post?  I never said that it makes anyone a bad parent to leave your child at a daycare center or with a nanny...I even said that I know it is probably just new mom anxiety....so simmer down and stop trying at assert authority on an internet message borad that you lack IRL.

  • imageredfish08:

    I found myself in a rough situation when my DS was about 6 months old and his nanny got very ill.  I had no back up.  We were in a panic, and I vowed never to be in that situation again.  We now have a few layers of back up for our nanny.  We have no family in town, so we pay for our back up.  I interviewed some part time sitters who would be available on call, and we also use them for date nights.  We know them and trust them, and it's worked out so well.  

    I think it really depends on your work situation.  My husband is in surgery all day long, so he can't exactly take a sick day on a whim.  And, I have a demanding job that requires a good bit of travel, so many times, it's hard for me to take a sick day.  Plus, it's important for me not to be constantly calling in sick.  I think it's umprofessional.

     I hope that helps you.   

    (ETA:  I take a sick day when my son is sick, but not when my nanny is sick.  When my nanny is sick or unavailable, we use our back up sitter.  Just to clarify!) 

    This does help.  I have considered interviewing some people from care.com for as needed or on an on-call basis.  My husband is also a physician, which makes it impossible for him to miss work...ever.  It is unreal how demanding medicine can be.  I am lucky that I have a job where I can bring my laptop home and work from home if needed.  I guess this is why I never really considered that I would need back-up.  The jury duty thing alarmed me a little because I can not work from home for two weeks. 

  • imageBellaCapulet:
    imageredfish08:

    I found myself in a rough situation when my DS was about 6 months old and his nanny got very ill.  I had no back up.  We were in a panic, and I vowed never to be in that situation again.  We now have a few layers of back up for our nanny.  We have no family in town, so we pay for our back up.  I interviewed some part time sitters who would be available on call, and we also use them for date nights.  We know them and trust them, and it's worked out so well.  

    I think it really depends on your work situation.  My husband is in surgery all day long, so he can't exactly take a sick day on a whim.  And, I have a demanding job that requires a good bit of travel, so many times, it's hard for me to take a sick day.  Plus, it's important for me not to be constantly calling in sick.  I think it's umprofessional.

     I hope that helps you.   

    (ETA:  I take a sick day when my son is sick, but not when my nanny is sick.  When my nanny is sick or unavailable, we use our back up sitter.  Just to clarify!) 

    This does help.  I have considered interviewing some people from care.com for as needed or on an on-call basis.  My husband is also a physician, which makes it impossible for him to miss work...ever.  It is unreal how demanding medicine can be.  I am lucky that I have a job where I can bring my laptop home and work from home if needed.  I guess this is why I never really considered that I would need back-up.  The jury duty thing alarmed me a little because I can not work from home for two weeks. 

    I've used Care.com with a lot of success.  At first, I was very anxious about it.  When we found someone we liked, we ran background checks, called references, etc., etc.  But after a while, you develop a really good intuition for a trustworthy sitter/nanny.  The initial email that you receive will allow you to screen over half of them (if they wrote in broken english or used bad grammar, or didn't have a reliable car, I immediately disqualified them).  Then, after the phone screen, you can weed out a few more.  I eventually met two or three of them at a convenient Starbucks, and all of them that made it to that point made the cut.  

    It will get a lot easier to find someone you trust.

     Good luck working it all out! 

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  • imageredfish08:
    imageBellaCapulet:
    imageredfish08:

    I found myself in a rough situation when my DS was about 6 months old and his nanny got very ill.  I had no back up.  We were in a panic, and I vowed never to be in that situation again.  We now have a few layers of back up for our nanny.  We have no family in town, so we pay for our back up.  I interviewed some part time sitters who would be available on call, and we also use them for date nights.  We know them and trust them, and it's worked out so well.  

    I think it really depends on your work situation.  My husband is in surgery all day long, so he can't exactly take a sick day on a whim.  And, I have a demanding job that requires a good bit of travel, so many times, it's hard for me to take a sick day.  Plus, it's important for me not to be constantly calling in sick.  I think it's umprofessional.

     I hope that helps you.   

    (ETA:  I take a sick day when my son is sick, but not when my nanny is sick.  When my nanny is sick or unavailable, we use our back up sitter.  Just to clarify!) 

    This does help.  I have considered interviewing some people from care.com for as needed or on an on-call basis.  My husband is also a physician, which makes it impossible for him to miss work...ever.  It is unreal how demanding medicine can be.  I am lucky that I have a job where I can bring my laptop home and work from home if needed.  I guess this is why I never really considered that I would need back-up.  The jury duty thing alarmed me a little because I can not work from home for two weeks. 

    I've used Care.com with a lot of success.  At first, I was very anxious about it.  When we found someone we liked, we ran background checks, called references, etc., etc.  But after a while, you develop a really good intuition for a trustworthy sitter/nanny.  The initial email that you receive will allow you to screen over half of them (if they wrote in broken english or used bad grammar, or didn't have a reliable car, I immediately disqualified them).  Then, after the phone screen, you can weed out a few more.  I eventually met two or three of them at a convenient Starbucks, and all of them that made it to that point made the cut.  

    It will get a lot easier to find someone you trust.

     Good luck working it all out! 

    Thanks!  When I first came accross care.com I was not sure how trustworthy the site was.  I looked through some profiles and I suppose, like you, just felt anxious about the process.  It does make me feel better to hear that people have found quality caretakers on the site.  Thanks again!

  • imageBellaCapulet:

    imageMaybride2:
    No, I don't understand.....why don't you explain it to me. *eyeroll* I just don't know what you expect to hear - if you limit the number of people that you trust to take care of your child to one, you're SOL when that one person is unavailable.

    If you really don't understand that concern than I must say that we just have different ideas of what a good mother is.  What personal offense exactly did you take to my original post?  I never said that it makes anyone a bad parent to leave your child at a daycare center or with a nanny...I even said that I know it is probably just new mom anxiety....so simmer down and stop trying at assert authority on an internet message borad that you lack IRL.

    Seriously? You didn't "offend" me, I'm just trying to point out how you've basically painted yourself into a corner. You'll never learn to trust others if you keep yourself in your current mindset, and you will undoubtedly run into this problem several more times before your child is in school and "old enough to report abuse". But yeah, I'm just trying to "assert my authority" because I have none irl. And it's called sarcasm, maybe you're too uptight or anxious to remember what that is.
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  • imageGoldie_Locks_5:

    was your mom accepted into jury duty? b/c if she hasn't even gone yet-  if she says she's the primary caregiver for your child she should get out of it after the first day. This happened to my mom once.

     

    I think this got missed, and wasn't exactly the point of the post, but DH is a SAHD and got called to jury duty. He was out by 9:00 a.m. 

    DD 2.9.10 DS born sleeping 12.2.12
  • imageNancyBotwin:
    imageGoldie_Locks_5:

    was your mom accepted into jury duty? b/c if she hasn't even gone yet-  if she says she's the primary caregiver for your child she should get out of it after the first day. This happened to my mom once.

     

    I think this got missed, and wasn't exactly the point of the post, but DH is a SAHD and got called to jury duty. He was out by 9:00 a.m. 

    Yeah she is trying to get out of it, but she has not heard back from the courts.  I am planning on interviewing some back-up care for DS, but am honestly hoping that I do not have to use it.  I will only be working for about 16 months after I return to work and then our family situation will be changing dramatically.  I am hoping I can get by with my mom and my ability to work from home until then. 

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