Baby Shower Advice
Michael's brother and his wife (Tina) live in Florida and they're almost 20w along with their first. Tina's mom is in Virginia (and not well after recovering from a stroke), her best friend is in Tennessee, Michael's family (including mom and sister) live in Wisconsin and I'm in Ohio. According to her best friend, Tina's other friends are all over the country.
Problem: What to do about a baby shower.
I talked with Michael's sister about it and she emailed Tina's best friend, saying I would be down in FL at the beginning of April (which is true, for a wedding) and maybe we could do something then? We were kind of hoping her best friend would take some initiative on planning this since they are so incredibly close (friends since they were kids, MOH, etc). However, she seems a bit flighty & non-committal. This was her response:
"You and Ashley are so sweet! Yes, I'll for sure try to make it down there, just let me know the date you decide on. Lol, I kept trying to think of a baby shower idea for Tina with all of us spread all over and all I could think of was a "virtual" baby shower, but this is much better. I know alot of Tina's other friends live far away too, so I told Tina to think of a big ticket item she really wanted/needed for the baby and that we could all pitch in and get it. One idea I gave her was to research which stroller/car seat combo she wanted. Tina is picky.....so God knows I told her she needs to go do a registry!! lol Anyway...you guys just let me know what I can do to help and not much longer until we find out what the latest Barto baby will be!"
So are we now planning this shower? And by "we," I really mean "me" because Michael's sister can't go down to FL from WI? I want Tina to have a shower, but I didn't really want to plan the entire thing. ...and is it worth it if I can only be there and possibly 1-2 other people? Can I even plan a shower from that far away? Could we have the shower in WI, where there will be a ton of people (because Michael's family is huge)? Can she travel from FL, being pregnant?
"Just let me know what date you decide on" was more than an underwhelming response from her BFF.
Am I committed to this? Is a "virtual shower" good enough?
Also, throw in there the fact that Tina doesn't feel "accepted" by Michael's family and thus I feel like we need to try extra hard to always make sure she feels good about herself.
...sorry for all of the questions! I just don't know where my responsibility lies in this situation.
Re: Baby Shower Advice
From what I read it sounds like your in charge on the shower now.
Are Tina and her dh planning on visiting any family up north anytime soon? If so this would be a better chance to have the shower. Personally as a "host" I'd rather do the shower in WI but if Tina has no plans of going near WI while pregnant, I'd suck it up and do something small in FL. Also it would sink to try to haul all the gifts from WI to FL. (I am going to a babyshower next month in FW and the mom lives in Texas; all guest are wrapping up a picture of the item we bought and sending the item to her house or buying something small/giftcard.)
I don't know how close her friends are or their financial situation but do you think they will fly to Florida for her baby shower? Also will anyone from WI come down to Florida for the shower? I think one thing to do would be talk to her Dh mom since that is your side of the family and ask if she is planning on throwing a shower for Tina. I would hate for you to put a lot of effort into it and end up only being you and Tina at the shower. Another suggestion is why don't you just meet up with them when you go to FL and go out to eat and maybe give them a gift then.