how specific am i allowed to be?

caranichole

I planned on having one big co-ed baby shower hosted by mom and my friend that would probably be more like a big celebration as we have lots of friends and Daniel has lots of family. My mom and friend are happy with doing whatever I want and they get that I prefer a co-ed shower because for I personally don't have that many close female friends where I currently live and because for some reason I feel like I would be super uncomfortable. I never have issues going to other people's all female baby showers but I am just not THAT girly in that way. I can only handle so much.

What happens if, which I'm pretty sure it will, my dear dear well-meaning MIL, or anyone ese, insists on having an all female shower for me. I will probably especially feel awkward in that situation with my MIL because I am honestly just not that comfortable with her and/or her family members as they can be very pushy and I am not ready to be immersed in DHs family without him by my side. Thoughts?

Mrs.B6302007

Just politely decline.

Disneygeek77

politely decline or use it an an opportunity to get to know his family better. 

rhubarb123

If your MIL and that side of the family is invited to your co-ed shower I doubt she would insist on hosting a shower for you as well.  Just let her know up-front that you are having one big shower (or maybe your DH can let her know).

mybobofo

If you mom is already hosting one and everyone you know is coming, it may be best to politely decline your MIL's offer.  Tell her that you think it's impolite to invite the same people to two showers and you have already invited all of your friends and family to this one. 

However if there are some ladies that she wants to invite that did not make it to your other list, it might be nice to let her throw a small shower.  It may not be so bad to appease your MIL for one afternoon. I would only double-invite my mom.

As for other people, they probably won't offer once they receive an invitation to your shower. 

KyleTrigger

I find it a little weird that you can't imagine being with your husbands family without him there? How long have you been together, did you just meet them?

IMO, if they offer to host a shower and they are more comfortable with all girls, I would suck it up and go and appreciate the gesture. I really dislike men at baby showers and co-ed showers and if we were throwing one, we would not be inviting men.

And you mention you are not comfortable with the girly stuff but most men are probably MORE uncomfortable than you will be and will go just to humor you. I wouldn't put my H through that but that is just me.

pregaftertubal

i don't know.  if you were to decline your MIL's shower you might REALLY offend her.  is she the type of person who really is looking forward to giving you one?  is she they type to get offended easily?  what does hubby think?   are you guys early in your marriage?   this could be a good way to get in "good" with them:)  it might just be easier to give in and do it.  it's only for an afternoon, it can't be that bad right;)   i know it's supposed to be about what you guys want, so it's a hard one.  whatever happens, make sure hubby supports your decision!

Emilicious88

I would just politely accept her offer, and deal with it. I hate showers and all those games and crap - they make me feel so awkward. I even dislike Christmas because I hate opening presents in front of people...but if your MIL is willing to go to the effort to throw you a shower, it's a great opportunity to get to know the family better. Maybe you could ask if she minded if you helped plan (if you're that type of person), that way you can get to know your MIL better without hubby, and she can get to know you better. It may not be so awkward if it's just a kind of gathering where you can have conversation with H's family. GL in whatever you decide to do!