Working Moms

posted this on the august board but WWYD??

DD just started doing this screaming for attention thing and she tends to get really loud.....At daycare today she was screaming and when DH picked her up the daycare women told him that she put her in her carseat with a blanket over the carseat to stop her screaming--he was really, really annoyed! but when i spoke to her on the phone earlier today she told me that she put her in her car seat so she would nap and she wouldn't so she put her blanket over the car seat ....The way that it was told to me i am totally ok with but she told DH that this was the only way to "stop her screaming"....he is really upset and i kind of think he is over reacting...i should clarify that i don't mean crying screaming, more of just screaming for attention and big hammed up smile when you look at her.... TIA!  

Re: posted this on the august board but WWYD??

  • I'm with your husband on this one.

    And why is she putting her in a car seat to sleep, anyway?  I wouldn't be okay with that. 

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  • Were they saying that she was having a hard time going to sleep because of all the activity in the room?  I can see that.  If they put the blanket over the car seat to block out some of the distraction?  I have done that when out with DS at something for DD.  He has a hard time sleeping if anything else is going on. 

    The stop the screaming part is an odd way to put it.   Sounds a bit like they stuck her in a corner, covered her up and let her scream. 

    Both my kids cry themselves to sleep and always have.  DS makes a sort of fake cry.  DD still makes a sort of humming cry noise just before she passes out.

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  • she put her in the car seat b/c she was refusing the pack and play and she thought she might sleep better in it since we have been traveling so much and it was about 4:30 so she knew DH would be there to pick her up soon--maybe I'm under-reacting??? It's a home daycare with 5 kids, so not to busy....
  • No f-ing way. I would be pissed. If the kid needs attention, she needs attention. And she doesn't need to sleep on schedule at 5 months. 
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  • imageliza0828:

    I'm with your husband on this one.

    And why is she putting her in a car seat to sleep, anyway?  I wouldn't be okay with that. 

    yep

  • This does not seem like an appropriate response to a screaming child (either screaming in distress or just to be funny). I work with a company that provides educational child care nationally, and our policy (in keeping with each particular state) is to put children to sleep on their backs, in an individual crib. Children should not be sleeping in car seats or other containment devices (swings, bouncy seats, etc.), and if they fall asleep in those places, they should be moved to the crib. While I don't know what your particular state regulations are, or if your provider is licensed or regulated (some states regulate family providers, others don't), you should definitely have a discussion about the issue to clarify it, and to make sure that it doesn't happen again. If your daughter is tired, she should nap in a crib. If she's upset, she should be comforted. If she's just yelling to make noise, she should be distracted and played with, because she's asking to have some fun. The biggest issue is that your daughter should not be able to pull a blanket down onto her face, especially if she is in a carseat where she can't turn her head easily to get away from the blanket. If you don't get a good response from your provider, it might be time to start looking for a new place.
  • imageKAtwinmom:
    This does not seem like an appropriate response to a screaming child (either screaming in distress or just to be funny).  If your daughter is tired, she should nap in a crib. If she's upset, she should be comforted. If she's just yelling to make noise, she should be distracted and played with, because she's asking to have some fun. The biggest issue is that your daughter should not be able to pull a blanket down onto her face, especially if she is in a carseat where she can't turn her head easily to get away from the blanket. If you don't get a good response from your provider, it might be time to start looking for a new place.

    This! 

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  • imageluvmagoldn:

    imageKAtwinmom:
    This does not seem like an appropriate response to a screaming child (either screaming in distress or just to be funny).  If your daughter is tired, she should nap in a crib. If she's upset, she should be comforted. If she's just yelling to make noise, she should be distracted and played with, because she's asking to have some fun. The biggest issue is that your daughter should not be able to pull a blanket down onto her face, especially if she is in a carseat where she can't turn her head easily to get away from the blanket. If you don't get a good response from your provider, it might be time to start looking for a new place.

    This! 

    i also agree.

    if she's screaming for attention- GIVE HER ATTENTION.  If she's crying b/c she's upset about something- pick her up and figure out what is wrong.

    One woman is watching 5 kids?  That alone is an issue.

     

  • I'm siding with your husband on this one. First off, very unsafe with the blanket covering her. She could grab and pull it on herself and suffocate. Secondly, she shouldn't be put in a car seat to nap. Again, not a safe place to sleep when there's a pack n play available.

    Lastly, if she's screaming at 5 months old you don't put her in a corner strapped to a chair (i.e., car seat). There's a difference between being overtired and overstimulated and needing a dark room to self-soothe herself to sleep v. her practicing her vocal skills and playing.

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  • imageGoldie_Locks_5:
    imageluvmagoldn:

    imageKAtwinmom:
    This does not seem like an appropriate response to a screaming child (either screaming in distress or just to be funny).  If your daughter is tired, she should nap in a crib. If she's upset, she should be comforted. If she's just yelling to make noise, she should be distracted and played with, because she's asking to have some fun. The biggest issue is that your daughter should not be able to pull a blanket down onto her face, especially if she is in a carseat where she can't turn her head easily to get away from the blanket. If you don't get a good response from your provider, it might be time to start looking for a new place.

    This! 

    i also agree.

    if she's screaming for attention- GIVE HER ATTENTION.  If she's crying b/c she's upset about something- pick her up and figure out what is wrong.

    One woman is watching 5 kids?  That alone is an issue.

     

    I totally agree with this, except I don't think that one woman with 5 kids is a problem.

    My DCP raised 5 kids and has been in the business for 20 years, so I feel confident she can handle it. I also know her very well and I know her philosophy and temperment and I know all the kids and parents who go to the daycare so I feel confident it is a good place.

    I would be upset if she ever put my LO in a corner in his car seat to scream wiht a blanket over him tho. I know she would never even consider it. I know it is against her philosophy.

  • i think this is totally unacceptable care for a 5 month old. I think 5 babies for one caregiver is too many and for a 5 month old to be screaming you need to pick her up or pay attention to her. That is just too young to let scream in my opinion.
  • To say that I'd be pissed would be an understatement.  Your 5 month old was seriously put into a carseat with a blanket thrown over it by her daycare provider? 

    That would be enough for me to call the state licensing agency to have her investigated for neglect.  That's insane.

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  • I agree with PPs that this is not appropriate.  I also wanted to mention that there could be a health issue that is causing her to scream.  When my DS was about that age, he started doing this high-pitched scream.  At first, we thought it was just because he learned something new to do with his voice, but after a week or so he started showing other signs that his reflux was really bothering him.  Once we got his reflux meds adjusted, the screaming stopped.  I'm not saying your LO has reflux, but there could be some physical issue that is making her uncomfortable, and this is how she's expressing it.
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
  • I with your DH on this too.  First off, you should never leave a kid in a carseat unattended.  Even when mine were sick and sleeping in their carseats, I had the bottom of the carseat propped up with a folded blanket to keep their head tilted back so easier to breathe.  And a blanket reduces air flow and oxygen to the baby.  So not okay.  What about, oh, I don't know, putting her in a crib or PNP in another room with a monitor so she doesn't get the attention she craves and the stimulation is down to zero?  There's an idea.  Confused  Or just letting her play herself out and ignore her when she screams or shhhh her and tell her softly to use an inside voice.  That won't work right away but used consistently, it does.  Crap, that's just what I can think of off the top of my head and she couldn't?

    Quite frankly, I would be incredibly disturbed that this was your DCP's sole answer to a screaming baby.  What's next - duct tape?


    image
    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

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