numb...anyone else? — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

numb...anyone else?

Does anyone else feel like I do?  It hasn't even been a week and I feel like I'm "over it".  I know that I'm not, because you don't just get over something like a m/c in a week or even a month or two.  The night it was happening, I had an absolute break down, and then in the ER when it was confirmed I cried, but really nothing since.  Maybe it is just the way I am.  I have never been the type who is openly emotional about these things.  It makes me feel like a terrible mom.  It's like my body knows I'm sad (because I don't have an appetite at all, and it is like torture trying to get myself out of bed in the morning).  But in my mind everything is just a bunch of facts, like I KNOW what happened, but I don't FEEL what happened.  On top of all of that i just don't know how to get back to normal again.  I just feel so off balanced, like I'm just going though the motions (especially when I went back to work yesterday).  I know I'm just rambling, but can anyone relate?

Nov. 19, 2010 BFP #1--m/c Dec. 24th, 2010 First cycle after m/c on Feb. 2, 2011--March 8th, 2011 BFP #2 EDD Nov. 19, 2011. Nadia Dorothy Grace born on 11-18-11 @ 3:04pm 6lbs 14oz Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Re: numb...anyone else?

  • imagetheresat858:

    I'm having a hard time going back to work. I feel like I should be letting myself feel more...but it just breaks out at random times.  (And I never cry. Until now, that is.  But between the hormones and not being on my antidepressants I guess its to be expected).

    Sometimes it seems like the whole thing was just I never actually was PG.

    This is me..sometimes I want to pretend like it didn't happen. Then I feel bad, like I'm not wanting to remember my baby.

    OP I am there sometimes I'm totally over it and want to move on.

  • Everyone is different, so please don't feel bad about the way you feel! When I first miscarried, I really wasn't very upset at first. I miscarried early (~6w), and physically it wasn't too difficult. I thought I would be OK emotionally too, and decided not to take any time off from work; about halfway through work the next day, I just started to shake and I knew I had to tell my adviser what had happened and that I needed to take some time off.

    I only ended up taking one day off (being home alone was too hard for me) and it was a few days after that when I really broke down. (And I mean I really lost it; at one point I was afraid I would never stop crying.) For weeks, I was just "going through the motions." I don't think I ever "got back to normal" in the sense that I don't think I'll ever be the way I was before. I am, however, doing OK. I think that eventually you will be too. All of the women on this board share similar experiences, but for each of us the experience has been personal and our own. Your experience is yours, and while you can find comfort in the similar parts of the experience, I don't think you should feel bad about the aspects of your own experience that are unique to you.

    Take care of yourself, and we're here if you need us.

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  • I definatly agree that sometimes it doesn't even seem like I was actually pregnant. It was over so soon, and I was left feeling like maybe it was all just a dream. I go back and forth between feeling fine some days, and others, like today, I feel like the pain and heartache may be too much for me to hide.
    BFP 11/2/10! First Dr's appt 11/30/10, shows Blighted Ovum measuring~ 5.9w @ 7w5d Natural Miscarraige 12/10/10 TTA unitl Feb, waiting BARE minimum before hopping back in the saddle So ready to try again, but I will never forget my first baby. BFP#2 02/06/11!!!! *stick baby, stick!* Team Green turn Team PINK 10/09/11 BFP #3 02/23/13...SURPRISE! Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • That is the way I felt too at first.  But then something cracked and I ended up back at the ER with blood clot in lung symptoms and they did a bunch of tests and it was determined I was having a panic attack.  After I started the meds they gave me I felt ok but still numb.  I would just stare and go on with "life" I wanted to go back to work and then my doc said no because hubby said he thought with the anxiety that I needed more time..I was still having chest pains but I could function.  After a few days and I started running into people who knew and htey started talking to me I just wanted to strangle everyone...and it got to where Icouldn't leave the couch let alone the house.  I was trapped in my house for almost 2 weeks when Hubs took me to doc and got me different meds and i attempted to go back to work - freaked out, took a few more days off and I noticed the meds..helped me feel.  Suddenly I was mad, crying, sad.  It was great to start feeling things.  It comes and goes now, but I am aware I am not fine.  We named and made a memorial for the baby.  I couldn't stand talking about "the baby" or "the miscarriage" now I am like its QUINN!  It has a name!  But I look at ultrasound and feel!  I hope things get better for you now, but I sure hope you don't have travel the road of insanity like I did.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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