Lost my baby 13 wks Christmas Day

clarks415

On Christmas Eve I started bleeding, went to the ER, our baby had no heartbeat, no movement. They sent me home to miscarry naturally. The next day began gushing blood, passed out in my bathroom. My family called 911. Went to a different hospital by ambulance where they controlled the bleeding.They kept me overnight. At 7 am went in for a DNC.

This is the first time I am telling the story. I guess I just felt like I had to write it down. We have so many emotions; shock, disbelief, anxiety, depressed, positive, confusion, terror... I just feel like I can't seem to sort them out.

I don't want to talk to anyone, except my 3 yr old, husband and mother. If one more person tells me it wasn't meant to be or we can try again I may punch them in their face. Any advice? 

julesjb

The only advice I can give is to feel how you want to feel and only surround yourself with the people you want. The little pieces of advice people want to give are not helpful but i always tried to remind myself that it came from good places. I'm so sorry for what you are going through and hope you can find support here.

clarks415

Thanks for your post. One more question.. do you know how I can get off these tickers? With the new profile I can't find it to delete.

lauren.cus

I'm so sorry for your loss. The pain is just indescribable. I don't have any advice other than just allow yourself to grieve and try to ignore people's comments. 

A lot of the hard comments are coming from people who have never been through this, and don't really know what to say. I hope for all of us that as time goes by the wounds begin to heal.

 

JNS023

So, so sorry for your loss. What crappy timing   My only advice is not to punch anyone.  (a little humor there?)

Seriously, though, you will just have to feel what you feel until you are done feeling that way.  I hated it when people tried to minimize my loss.  Yes, I know that I should be able to have another baby.  But I wanted THIS baby, and now it's gone.  I totally understand where you are at.  Love on your 3yo and DH, and grive however it feels right at any given time.  Hugs to you, hang in there!

mkwt

I am so sorry for your loss  (((hugs))))  I have also had people tell me things and I just want to throat punch them, I just say thank you and then go hide in a corner and cry.  Just remember you have the right to feel how you want to feel at whatever time you need to feel it.  I can tell you that time does seem to lessen the sting, but it never goes away.  It has been 6 weeks since my loss, and I still think about Baby T all the time.  I hope you find comfort and hope on this board, it has been a life saver for me.

WifeyWynn0626

I'm so sorry for you loss. Try to think that when people do make comments, they really are trying to be nice and are probably very genuine in their sympathy for you, even though your screaming "F*** you, go away!" in your head. At least I did. For me to sort through my emotions I started a blog. It was really helpful in getting everything I was feeling out without punching someone because all my emotions were bottled up. My best advice is cry as much as you want, lean on your support system and take it day by day. It's all you can do.

ewilliams1127

The only person I want to talk to is my DH.  I can't even tell my BFF what happened.  She hasn't even heard the story!  I understand what you are feeling and I don't know when it will get better. 

As for removing the tickers....go to your profile and click on "edit avatar."  At the bottom it will have a box for your "signature" I believe.  Erase it and enter what you please.  For the ticker at the home page of The Bump under your name you have to go to edit your information and I just had to enter a bogus "birth date" to make it say TTC again.

T&P!

pennynjon

I am so sorry for your loss.  I feel the same about talking to people.  I told DH I wish the two of us and our dogs could move to a deserted island for a few weeks.  ((hugs))