Talk to me about "self play"

bwm2bmw · December 2010

I don't even know if that's what it's called but my mother is constantly telling me how my brother and I would stay content in our playpens with toys and just entertain ourselves but now kids today just roam around the house bouncing from one toy to the next and must be constantly followed.

We don't own a playpen (do they even exist anymore?) and DD does in fact go from toy to toy and runs around downstairs (which is all gated/child proof) but we still have to chase her. She def won't stop and play with anything for longer than 60 seconds. It makes things difficult to get anything done but I thought this was pretty normal for a 14 mo old? So at what point do kids engage in more "self play" and are people using playpens?

sunnydays99 · December 2010

I think this is child specific. DS is all about the self play. Most of the time he's contained in the basement and will go from toy to toy, but often settles on one toy for about 10 minutes then goes to a different one. Pack n Plays are the new play pens, so yes they definitely still exist. I don't feel the need to use one b/c we have a great child proof play area for DS.

Kailyn S · December 2010

I've heard it called "independant play" but I think it's the same thing. Basically it's when kids seek out and play with their toys, and don't "need" you interacting with them and their toys at the same time.

I have no idea if playpens still exist (I guess a pnp is the closest I've ever seen) but I personally would never use one. I guess if I felt like he was really always getting into stuff (which was just never his personality) I would try and barricade him in a couple of rooms that I happened to be in, so I could keep and eye on him but still try and be productive.

I don't remember exactly when DS started playing independantly (it was probably around the time he started daycare, 18 months? maybe a little before?) but at 21 months now, he will entertain himself with his toys for upwards of a 1/2-1 hour while we do chores around the house.

hersheykiss · December 2010

E's playpen would be her Pack n Play. She will request to get in the PnP and sit in there for an hour playing with the toys. She does roam around the house and play with toys but I don't worry about following behind her. The electrical outlets are all covered and she doesn't really mess with anything that isn't hers. She also has a tendency to follow us and be in the same room as us playing or "helping."

I would let her roam and see what she does without you following her, just keep her in your sights or hearing distance.

shoff_1999 · December 2010

I wish I had an answer....my son is 21 months old and has TONS of toys and doesn't even touch 3/4 of them...and the ones he does use is only for a few seconds. We have the living room baby-gated off---but we can't leave him in there alone b/c he just keeps trying to get out and then jumps on the couch. SO I usually have to sit on the floor with him and keep him interested in his toys....and you are right it makes it IMPOSSIBLE to get anything done, I get very discouraged!

suscq · December 2010

LOL at lolonyo! I know by basement you mean you have a basement playroom or something, but it so sounds like he's banished to the basement to wander around.

ITA with lolonyo--it's child specific. DD usually just roams around the house. She likes to interact with us and the dogs and explore. On rare occasions, she will get very interested in self play, but that is not the norm in our house.

sunnydays99 · December 2010

suscq:
LOL at lolonyo! I know by basement you mean you have a basement playroom or something, but it so sounds like he's banished to the basement to wander around.

ITA with lolonyo--it's child specific. DD usually just roams around the house. She likes to interact with us and the dogs and explore. On rare occasions, she will get very interested in self play, but that is not the norm in our house.

LMAO!! Hahaha, yep I should have clarified. We have a fully developed basement and have a large family room down there where we all hang out 90% of the time! It's where all of his toys are.

brandenburdett · December 2010

My husband and I are currently reading a book about Montessori and teaching your kid independence. "Self play" seems to be really important for developing independence and the ability to concentrate and become absorbed in one thing. In the book, they talk about having only a few simple toys that the child can really become involved in...

Of course, that's not how it works for us! Paloma has plenty of toys in her room and lots of books that she loves to pull off the shelf. We don't put her in a playpen, but we do have a dog gate across her door (to stop the dog from stealing her toys, not for keeping her caged) and sometimes we let her loose by herself for a while. I can keep an eye on her from the kitchen and actually get things done.

However, now she is up and walking and no so happy about staying in her room for too long. She wanders around the house, moving magnets from the fridge to her blackboard and back, or pushing her cart, or making a mess. She doesn't really get absorbed in one thing... We are wondering about how to get her to really focus - maybe less toys???

ivs112 · December 2010

DD has been playing independently for a few months now. She has free roam of the front room, living room and dining room. She has most of her toys in the front and living rooms. She'll sit and play with her toys for several minutes at a time before getting up and moving on to the next. Sometimes she'll just walk/run around the rooms laughing and giggling. We don't chase after her, we just let her be. The rooms are baby proofed so there really is no reason to chase after her.

jinnymb · December 2010

Usually I initiate self play by getting down and showing him how to play with something. Then we will play for maybe 5 minutes then he starts moving on his own to other toys.

I have our living room gated and super baby proofed so he has plenty of room to play and walk around. He will usually play by himself for a half an hour or so then come over and give me kisses or engages me to play with him again and I do. Although as of lately he really just likes to drag a toy on a string and walk around which is fine too.

If I need to go in the kitchen and cook sometimes he continues to play or he stands at the gate and hollers at me, so I let him in to play in the kitchen which is also very baby proofed.

I put him in the pack and play if I need to run upstairs, go the bathroom, or run the dog out real quick so I know he is safe and he has toys in there as well. He generally doesn't love it, and I know our parent's generation were big on playpens, but I try to use it minimally.

You could try reducing the space they have with gates and see if that keeps them a little more enterainted with toys since there is less to explore.