my appointment - and talked to daughter (sorry - long)

LauraLynneC

my son's not home from work yet so no report on that but...first things first:

 First appt. went well.  They moved up my due date by a little - this bugger was active and moving all around for the first ultra sound, a casual ultrasound in the doctor's office. Hubby was astounded (he's never seen ANY ultrasound before!).  Everything looked great, doctor asked if I've felt baby since he/she was in a great position to box my insides and I told her I had (but felt a little crazy knowing that 11 weeks is REALLY early to be feeling such a tiny being!!).  So that explains THAT! 

There's only one - I'm at high risk for twins - so I was relieved.  I was really nervous for all sorts of bad news, no heartbeat, no baby, something else wrong so my blood pressure was on the high side.  They called the high risk doc and genetic counselor and they had an appointment same day!  So we finished up with my OB and headed to the other office for the NT scan and genetic counseling. 

Genetic counselor asked a LOT of "who is your family and how are they feeling" questions and generally determined that we come from good strong stock.  No further testing for genetic anomolies there.  Then the ultrasound and NT scan

We're (mostly) in the clear.  NT measurement was 1.61 (anything under 3mm is good) and the nose bone was present and appropriately sized.  My risk for trisomy 13/19/21 are very low.  There's a blood test that will affect those odds in either direction but I'm relieved with the initial scan results. 

Baby danced, kicked, played peek-a-boo for the entire ultrasound - we've got video to re-watch (over and over again!).  All measurements were within normal limits, heart, brain, kidney, and umbilical cord all looked good. 

I'm so relieved. 

And then we talked to my daughter tonight.  According to her we should have talked to her first, we've ruined her life, and she wants to find somewhere new to live.  I'm assuming she'll be mad/upset for awhile longer and then settle down.  I drove her to her friend's house to spend the night (and talk it all over until the wee hours of the morning while they paint each other's nails - oh to be 17 again!). 

Her reaction isn't unexpected - she and I are in counseling over several issues including the fact that she has no say in major decision in MY life including divorcing her dad, marrying my husband, where we live, etc.  Anyway.  She'll settle down eventually.

My son will be home in 20 minutes and he'll be more accepting but still surprised.  I'm not sure I can take another angry teenage barrage tonight...so hopefully he'll be more calm about it. 

I'm back to work tomorrow after 6 days off and a lovely vacation - hopefully I get some decent sleep tonight!

(thanks if you read this far - this is practically a novel!)

kikibird

Congrats on the good news on the baby!!!  I'm sorry you're struggling with your daughter, that's got to be hard.  I've no advice, but wanted to say that I remember the day, at age 15, when my dad came and told me that my stepmother was pregnant.  I got so upset, had been an only child up to that point, and didn't like the idea of having to share my dad with yet another person (hadn't been too happy about the divorce/remarriage either).  BUT, and I'm not sure what changed, but by the time my sister was born I was excited to finally have a little brother or sister.  24 years later, and she and I (and my baby sister born 4 years later) are super close. This is not to say that I haven't had my ups and downs since, in terms of relationships with my dad/stepmom and how I fit into their new family, but that while I thought my world as I knew it was ending initially, turned out it actually got much better in some ways. 

Anyway, I know that I don't know the specifics of your situation, but hoping that your daughter will come around soon!  And again, so happy to hear that the little bean is cooking well in there!

Pearly609

I'm so glad your appointment went so well! As far as your daughter, I agree with Kiki, it may change once she see's the little one and feels as though her position within your life can get even better. Maybe some mommy and daughter time alone starting now and continuing after the birth will reassure her that her relationship with you is like no other and no matter how many people come in your life, her relationship with you is one of a kind and no one could replace that. 

I've always tried to do that with my kids.  I do not treat them the same because they're different, what I do with one I don't with the other. Each child brings something out of us, silly, comedy, serious side whatever.  I wish you the best with your family and pregnancy.  Again, I know it's a BIG relief with the markers with the baby!

LauraLynneC

She needs time to process - she spent the night at a friend's house and has been text messaging me.  So I'm confident she'll warm up to the idea.

Just to show how different kids really are:  we told her brother, he was nonchalant about it but wanted to call his best friend and announce to  him - so he did by saying "I'm going to be a big brother or a big sister" and then looked at ME funny when I exploded with laughter. 

None of this will be easy - but I'm ready!

JilliansMoma

Wow Laura you are going through a lot but I'm glad your singleton is doing so well in there!!!  I remember being 17 and thinking I knew everything too.  I was 16 when my dad and step mom had my 1st little sister and I was just excited to hold and play with a baby. It did take a while though to wrap my head around the idea.  Give it time and it sounds like you guys are doing the right thing by going to counseling. 

GL,

JM 

 

Vincent

LauraLynneC:

She needs time to process - she spent the night at a friend's house and has been text messaging me.  So I'm confident she'll warm up to the idea.

Just to show how different kids really are:  we told her brother, he was nonchalant about it but wanted to call his best friend and announce to  him - so he did by saying "I'm going to be a big brother or a big sister" and then looked at ME funny when I exploded with laughter. 

None of this will be easy - but I'm ready!

Laura- I'm glad that you posted your evening events...I was thinking about you this morning because I remember how anxious you were in your post about having the 'conversation'.  I?m glad to hear that your son balanced the feelings from your daughter.  I don?t have any personal experience with this as this is our first child but I do remember the teenage turmoil I brought to my parents when I was younger and my parents are still married to each other and my brother and I are 14 month apart.  I do agree with the pp?s responses in that your daughter probably just needs some mom/daughter time and as your pregnancy progresses she?ll come around.  All in all, you sound very positive and upbeat with everything that you have had to deal with regarding yesterday?s conversation (how stressful for you).  Please keep us posted on if and when your daughter comes around, I assume it will be quicker than you think.