Does this ever end or get better?

RenandStimpy

I guess I just need to vent to people who understand...

I feel like crying, I cant believe that Im still in this messed up situation. I hate this. I really honestly feel like giving up sometimes. I know I should fight for my kids, Im just tired of it. Even after the good trial, I feel like I lose, because no matter what DD loses.

Even when I try to be nice to the ex he just is an ass so I stopped a long time ago, now Im getting a guilt trip because DD's birthday is coming up and I get her this year and he is just throwing a fit.

I told him very nicely, once he starts to think about whats best for DD instead of just trying to hurt me Ill be happy to work with him on which days including birthday...my son and DD are 3 days apart, so its always a joint party anyway.

So basically he just shrugs it off and sends DD into a guilt trip on mom. Thats great.

I just feel like this is a never ending BS war. I feel like sometimes he gets so much just because she isnt living with him and it makes me jealous. Like the courts want to cater to him just because they think he misses alot.

*ugh* I dont know what Im trying to say. I wish things were different. He is never going to change, ever. And I feel like Ill forever be stuck in this horrid life where Im always fighting for my rights that I deserve, and he is just going to be sitting there bitching about what else he can get. and blaming me.

sprky79

I take it he's not invited to his DD's birthday party?

RenandStimpy

Thanks for making me smile. Lol.

There is an EPO, restraining order in place he cant come near me or my son that he abused. So no, he isnt welcome.

SUwife

I'm guessing that your CO has you alternating years for her b-day?  If so then it's your day and don't worry about it.  I'm sure no matter how much whining and crying you do next year when it's his day, that he won't give in.  So why should you?  Follow that CO to the letter.  There is no law saying that bday parties can only be on the exact birthdate.  He can celebrate on one of his custody days.  If seeing her on her birthday every year was so important maybe he shouldn't have been abusive to you and your son. But he never thought of that.

I'm sure it'll get somewhat easier just because you'll get used to the pattern and come to expect his irrational reactions to things.

RenandStimpy

Thats exactly what my last email to him said. He emailed me whining about the days and at the same time blaming me for the holiday schedule that we both agreed to in mediation. I just told him if he was going to bring up every little detail, like he is and is going to do forever and I know this...then he need to obey the schedule as ordered as well and not just when its convenient for HIM to change things.

He brought up the day last week that I was 45 min late bringing natalie, I was late because his email saying which day he was supposed to have her was confusing he gave me a day and the wrong date, I didnt notice until he called me threatening contempt...this was before court.

I immediately righted the wrong by rushing to get DD and bring her to him.

ITs just frustrating because he is so childish, he only wants what he wants and doesnt think of DD, where as I hate him but I love my DD so much I will tolerate this rediculous situation and try to do whats best for her, even if I want to be a cold stone ***.

sprky79

so let him rant.  What harm is it to you if he fills your e mail inbox w/crap?  Let him rant, rave, whine_bitch and moan, and all your response ever has to be is, "the order says x.  that's what we're doing."  Done.  Print out the e mails and keep them for your court dates. 

The more you let this guy rent space in your head, you are leaving less room for your homework.  Stop.

hindsight's_a_biotch

Do not engage. Seriously.

I don't know how else to tell you this.

And stop thinking of DD as some kind of poor little victim.

Are you in counseling by any chance? Because you need it. See if there is a free clinic or on a sliding scale, whatever. But you need help.

RenandStimpy

I just feel like DD is going through hell too and that really hurts me and yes im in couseling Ive said this often.

FloF9

DD will realize how full of s**t he is.  Don't worry.  He's a douche and he will get his due.  Patience grasshopper.

sprky79

what are all these feelings doing to help you?  Pull your head out of your butt and move on here.