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How do you make the pain stop?

joeandkristiejoeandkristie
in Adoption
We are two weeks away from what was suppose to be the best time of our married life, the birth of our first child.  Yesterday we received the call that the birthmom has decided to parent her child.  I feel like the life has been sucked out of me.  How do you cope and how do you possibly think about trying this again?
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Re: How do you make the pain stop?

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    RanitaRanita
    Sweetie.  I'm so sorry!  My cousin (post below) just had her heart ripped out too because she was in the delivery room, cut the cord, spent 2 nights with the baby and was about to leave the hosp when the birthmother decided to parent.  I would hug you if I was there...my heart hurts with you both
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    Temp206787500007404Temp206787500007404
    OH my gosh, I am sooooo sorry Kristie!  (((HUGS)))  I don't have anything to say to comfort you, but you are in my thoughts.
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    MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    It's hard.  It feels like death. I know we've been there.

    I am so so so sorry. 

    One day at a time.  And you do what YOU need to do to cope with it.  Take care of yourself.

    I'm so very sorry.
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    Amy720Amy720
    I'm so sorry.  We've been where you are.  We were matched but we weren't as close to the due date as you and the match fell through.  It was heart breaking.  You grieve just like you lost a son/daughter.

    I want to encourage you though to keep trying.  Your baby is going to find his/her way to you.  We took some time off, but then updated our home study and within 2 weeks we were holding our newborn son and taking him home from the hospital.

    I wish I could tell you something that would make you feel better now, but all I can do is offer you some hope and prayers.
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    kirstenw05kirstenw05
    There are no words that can make you feel better. Please know all of us here at the adoption nest are here in support of you, DH and DC. As the previous post says, your DC will find their way to you when it is right.

    Try to get some sleep...
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    silliestbunnysilliestbunny member
    I am so sorry, Kristie.
    I wish I had words to make you feel better but I don't.  Take care of yourself.  Time heals.
    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
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    CaptainSeriousCaptainSerious member

    I wish I knew what to tell you.  Cry, allow yourself to confront the pain, handle it like a death, and slowly start the healing process.

    Be kind to yourself.  I am so sorry.

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