What would you do? - playing with sick cousin

Cityplanner

We're visiting the inlaws.  We live far away and see DH's entire family only once or twice a year.  DDs only cousins are on this side. BIL came over last night to visit and brought his kids.  The older one, age 4, was sick: fever, sore throat, started out lying on the sofa because he was feeling so badly.  BIL gave him some Tylenol and the little one started to feel better and wanted to play.  DD was playing with her other cousins and this one was all over her.   He was excited talking about his "little girl cousin" and how he wanted to show her all his toys   I was really annoyed that BIL would bring a sick kid over.  DH even said something to BIL, but BIL didn't leave and no one else seemed to think it was a big deal.  I started out trying to keep the two of them apart, but DD so wanted to play with her cousins that I just couldn't do it short of taking her and locking her in a room all night.   So, I let them play.

I'm still super annoyed that he'd come over with an obviously sick kid.  Am I overreacting?  Was there a good way to handle this?   

iteachk

I'd be mad too.

anukindaluv

I was in a very similar situation this past August while visiting my family in Ohio with Tooter Man.  My sister brought her kids over and both were sick with something that they picked up at daycare.  A couple days later, both Tooter and I were under the weather.  I was irritated at first, but got over it when I realized I don't see them as often as I'd like. 

Ivana_Stolichnaya

I'd be pissed, it's pretty self-centered on your BIL's part to not be concerned about his child getting others sick.

jenna0627

Since you rarely see this part of the family I would let the sick part slide. Trent plays with his cousins all the time and sometimes they pass germs and get each other sick. Yes it is annoying but I think he is lucky he gets to see his cousins that much and if we didn't I wouldn't cause a huge fuss the one time a year they saw each other and I wouldn't ask them to leave my in-laws, that isn't my house and I would feel really rude doing that. They are her only cousins, she might get a cold but at least she was able to play with them.

4realyo

I'd be really mad and I wouldnt have let them play together. I had a sick baby over xmas because her cousin was sick and my sister still had her bday party and didnt warn anyone. So of course my LO gets her first fever & ear infection just in time for xmas. I was so mad.

Boizmom

I'd be mad too.  We skipped going to my SIL's house on Christmas because they have been passing around a stomach bug.  Even though my SIL said she was (miraculously) better we decided not to go.  Good thing because she got worse that night and has been throwing up since.  They were mad we weren't coming but I'd rather not be cleaning up vomit this week at my house.

I don't know what else you could havre done though short of putting her in a different room as the sick kid.  Just pray she doens't get sick too.

Cityplanner

jenna0627:

 if we didn't I wouldn't cause a huge fuss the one time a year they saw each other and I wouldn't ask them to leave my in-laws, that isn't my house and I would feel really rude doing that. They are her only cousins, she might get a cold but at least she was able to play with them.

 In the end, that was my rationale.  And I really couldn't think of another option.  I didn't want to keep DD away from her cousins and I didn't want to make this cousin feel bad, he was SO excited to see her.  She's in daycare, so it's not like she doesn't come across germs, but there at least the obviously sick kids get sent home.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and keep them coming.  I feel a bit better knowing I wasn't nuts for being annoyed.   

MrsC17

I wouldn't be super steamed but I'd definitely be annoyed.  I just realized (somewhat recently) that a lot of people don't really worry so much about their sick kids getting other kids sick (for instance when DD had the mildest of colds, no fever and barely any symptoms, I still kept her out of baby gym out of respect for the other parents/babies, but plenty of those very same parents bring their kids week after week with goop galore coming out of their noses and coughing and sneezing). I just do my best to make sure I keep DD's hands clean and gets the vitamins/nutrition she needs to stay well (it won't always work, of course, but what else can ya do?)

trackchik6

I'd be pissed.  I have made DH speak to his brother about bringing his sick kids around DS.  Hopefully your LO won't get sick!    

ETA: If we didn't see them that often I wouldn't have asked him to leave but I would have asked his kid to stay away from your LO.   

pink.dutch.tulips

i would but its b/c i'm in the same situation - with cousins spread out over 2500 miles and family get togethers EXTREMELY rare, i'd let dd play w/ a sick cousin. she's in daycare to boot so she's already been exposed to god knows how many germs already.