Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

missed m/c - long

As some of you may know if you've been on 1st Tri the last few weeks, I had a very small amount of bright red spotting at 8.5 wks & went to the ER (we just moved across country so no OB yet).  At that point they told us that my pain was due to a small cyst on my left ovary, they had no idea why I was spotting & we got to see & hear the heartbeat.  They told us everything looked good even though the baby was measuring about a week behind.  I know that it was 8.5 wks because I know when I ovulated & when we had sex.  No way it could've been a week off.  Any way, I decided that maybe their measurement was a bit off & they didn't seem to see anything to be concerned about.

Fast forward to week 11...  I had again very very small amounts of bright red spotting on Mon, Tues, & Wed evenings.  It stopped pretty much as soon as it started & I had no cramps so I just rested & tried not to worry.

Well Sunday night, I had this same small amount of spotting but now it was dark red.  It started back up again on Monday afternoon (12 weeks) with the dark red & thicker consistency & didn't seem to really stop this time - but was still not too much that a pantiliner couldn't handle.  Due to the change in color & consistency, we went to the ER again.

At first they all just kind of brushed me off since I didn't have any cramping & just told me it was old blood.  Even though I had some small clumps in it - they did an internal exam & still said that everything looked fine - just old blood.  They said my uterus was exactly the size it should be for 12 wks.  So gave us a little hope...

The doctor did an u/s & couldn't find a heartbeat but said my uterus & gestational sac looked great.  She took some blood & sent us to radiology as she said their u/s machine was more advanced.  Radiology was very quiet, never let me see the screen - although my husband saw it (baby was there but he couldn't tell if it was moving).  I asked about the heartbeat & she gave me the line "I just take the pictures & don't interpret them".  I'm not upset with her or anything but figured by that answer & the fact that she never told me the measurements or let me see the screen that something was very wrong.

Quickly (in ER time), the doctor came in & delivered the sad news.  My HCG levels are only 1800 & there is no heartbeat.  My baby only measured 8 weeks & 3 days, which is pretty much how far along I was when we were at the ER before.  They weren't sure why my body hadn't realized it. 

I decided that I wanted to let nature take it's course & wait.  I didn't have to wait long.  About 5 pm today the cramping began & by 7:30 I thought I was going to die.  It was by far the worst pain I've ever been in.  Finally 2 hours later the worst of the pain was over & an hour later I was ready to get up & begin to try to function again.  I'm so grateful that my husband was home at the time.  I can't imagine going through this tonight without him. 

We've had tons of emotions but are hanging in here.  Just trying to find the positive in anything we can even if seems like something trivial.  We are choosing to be sad when we need to be but not dwell to the point of depression.  We're focusing on the future & the children that are yet to come.  We hope to have the okay to start trying again in November & still have that '09 baby. 

I have no idea what else to expect with this m/c.  Guess I'll be researching about that now as I have no idea how long to expect the bleeding & such.  Kind of stinks because our new insurance doesn't start until Nov so I can't even go to the doctor to make sure every is okay.  The ER doc seemed concerned about this but at that time we (including doc) didn't think that I would m/c so quickly after my visit last night.  All we have now is COBRA & all I can do with that in our new area is go to the ER.  Seems like the majority of the big stuff has passed (I hope) & definitely the baby.  I just don't know what else to expect.  Any advice is appreciated.
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Re: missed m/c - long

  • Oh I forgot to mention the ER doc & radiologist person that did the u/s were both very pregnant.  I have to say this made it a bit difficult as I do feel a bit like why not me too... 

    I almost started crying at lunch today with my DH when I saw a pregnant woman walk by.  I think that's going to be the hardest thing for me.  When we were TTC, I used to cry going into baby stores.  Now I think it's going to be seeing pregnant women which is going to be a bit more difficult to avoid...
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's very difficult, in time it gets easier.  As for the follow up, I'm not sure what to say.  I'd definitely see a doctor as soon as my insurance started up, if not before.  I didn't have a natural miscarriage, so I'm not sure about the rules, but I'm guessing they are probably similar in doctors recommending no tampons, sex, baths for a couple of weeks/until your cervix is closed.  I thought having had a D&C there would be no question that my uterus would be empty, but 2 months and 2 follow ups later that hasn't been the case yet, so I think the follow up can be important as if your body doesn't take care of itself, it can lead to an infection.  I'm sorry for your loss, I hope you'll find much support on this board.
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  • I am sorry for your loss and ((((hugs)))) to you and your DH. I naturally mc on Sat after seeing the doc Friday for spotting and mild cramping. Everything was fine, they did see a small hematoma, and said they would monitor it. I began cramping & bleeding more Friday night and into Saturday, passing it in the afternoon. My DH was also home at the time.  My bleeding was the heaviest immediately afterwards and lightened back up Sunday.I was around 5 wks.  I am now just barely spotting.
    The time of bleeding will vary, based on how far along you were, but most of the quotes I have seen here have been anywhere fr a few days into a few weeks. You 'll have a break in bleeding for a several weeks (depending on how long it takes for progesterone to clear out) and then AF will return. We were told to wait 1 cycle and then resume TTC.
    Emotion wise, I was all over the place. I would wake up crying in the middle of the night and it came in waves during the day. I busied myself in housework. I told myself if I can get thru 24 hrs of not crying, then I would go back to work. A small goal, but that's what I am doing. I almost made it yesterday, before some flowers were delivered. I plan on going back tomorrow.
    Bottom line, you aren't expected to be strong right now. Do what you need to in order to grief as this is a terrible loss. Hang out on this board if you need a shoulder to lean on. Check out the TTC after loss board for inspiration and getting back in the game.
    We're gonna have our happy & healthy babies soon!

  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
    2 girls and a dog
  • Jill---I'm so sorry for your loss!!! :::HUGS:::
    ~Jess & Mike May 12, 2007
    12.6.07 CP at 5w
    5.21.08 BO discovered at 7w, D&E at 8w3d
    8.31.08 CP at 4w5d
    BFP Sept 25, 2008 bfp buddy lkstor Landon born June 6, 2009
    3.25.11 missed m/c discovered at 9w6d, D&E at 10w2d
    4.28.11 MTHFR a1298c homozygous discovered
    4.2011 Began NaProTechnology
    10.12.11 Diagnosed with Type III Luteal Phase Defect
    10.2011 Starting hcg injections on 5, 7 & 9 dpo
    BFP 12.7.11 - EDD 8.14.12 - IT'S A BOY! Fruit Baby
    Life During and After RPL
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I am so sorry for your loss.  (((Hugs)))
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker First missed m/c = 1/30/08 Second missed m/c = 4/22/09 CJ born = 4/29/10 Courtney born = 7/22/11
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