Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Irishmama and other late pregnancy loss ladies

I am having a hard time dealing with the loss of my baby girl at 31 weeks.  I keep thinking that I needed to do something else at the hospital.  Meaning we held her, took pictures with our camera,  touched and kissed her.  We also got a memory box and her foot prints and some hair.   But I keep wishing I comb her hair or washed her or kissed her more.  She was stillborn and I think I was afraid to hurt her.  My Dh says I did kiss her a lot and held her.  I know now they have photographers that come out to take pixs but I didn't know that then.  This all happen so fast,  I was at DR then hosp. all within an hour.  Just wondering now how I can keep her in my memory,  what are you doing or did?   Thanks Debbie  

Re: Irishmama and other late pregnancy loss ladies

  • I'm right there with you Debbie. It was a shock to us as well so we didn't even have a camera with us. The hospital was nice enough to take photos and a company they use sent us a bereavement package with b/w and color photo. I am so glad we have this. We also took a photo on our cell phones just in case.
    We had him in our room for 4 hours and I wonder and ask the same thing. Did we hold him enough? Does he know how much we love him? But my DH says the same thing, I held him more than I remember. I think the time goes in such a blur that it is hard to remember everything sometimes. We did have him baptized by the hospital chaplain which really meant a lot to us.

    As for now, we are moving and we haven't done much. We have his photo next to the urn box on our bookcase. I have asked for a charm bracelet and charm for Christmas from my DH. I know others have jewelry, planted flowers, trees, gardens etc in remembrance. Also, if you look in past posts for the late loss check in from Wednesday I think it was the question of the week. You can get a lot of ideas that way as well. Big hugs to you.
  • I am scheduled to give birth to our sweet Isaac next week at 36 1/2 weeks. We know that he has numerous medical anomalies (have known since 12 weeks that something was "wrong", and have known since 20 weeks that his issues were most likely fatal) and the doctors have said that they don't expect him to make it for long (minutes... hours...).

    We have a bunch of things we'll be doing at the hospital, and will also be having a family burial service and then a memorial service a few weeks later.

    In addition, we are having a playground built in Isaac's honor at our church.

    I am so sorry for your loss...

  • Loading the player...
  • I am sorry for your loss.  I switched the late loss check-in to Wednesday last week and that was the question of the week so you know when to look.  I was lucky enough to have a friend of friend who is a photographer and is proficient in photoshop offer to retouch some of Wyatt's photos.  Those are the photos in my siggy.  I keep an album of Wyatt's photos in my purse so I can see him when I want too.  I can tell you it does get easier.  I know it is hard to believe right now but it does.  I know my son is in my heart and that I carry him with me everywhere.  Not that that ever deminishes how much I wish I was carrying him in my arms. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I'm sorry for your loss. We unfortunately were unable to get clay or plaster prints for clark and I really regret that. We had opportunity to spend 18 hours with him before we finally gave him up. We took pictures also, dressed him, and held him. I sometimes feel like I wish I could have done more, but I think that all those feelings stem from ultimately not getting to do EVERYTHING we had dreamed with him. The fact that we couldn't bring him home and raise him makes me wish that we had done more, but I don't think there would ever be an end to the things we wished we had done.

    We have all the photos of Clark in a baby album inside a memory box with the clothes we put on him, the hat, and one of the flowers that DH gave me while I was in the hospital. I also made a stillbirth announcement and gave it to all our closest friends. Some of them display it publicly in their home, others keep it in their jewelry case, some keep it in a photo album. I keep my personal copy in that memory box and another one in my purse to share with people and look at whenever I want to see him. In addition to these things, I finished my pregnancy journal book for Clark's pregnancy and also started a scrapbook for Clark in which all the cards we received will go (along with his footprints/handprints, hair we trimmed, measurements, and a few photos). You can see a couple pages from the scrapbook in my bio. When I did them I wasn't feeling like being creative, so overall I'm not happy with the way I laid them out, but they are memories of my son.

    I know many have told you this, but over time this will get a little easier. I can still cry about it...often, but I am better able to put that aside when it's not appropriate. Early on it would just come when I felt it. I'm sorry for your loss and hope things get better for you soon.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards