Please help me find my patience again.... (sorta long)

Stretchad

For those who don't know my story, I was diagnosed with a partial molar pregnancy back in March and was told to wait 4 months after reaching negative on HCG before TTC again. Unfortunately HCG took 10 weeks to drop making it 6 months from my D&C that I was given the clear.  It's been a VERY long road. 

The first two cycles were a bust, but I held it together. I felt patient, and didn't get upset that I got -HPTs. Felt disappointment, yes, but no tears.  Even after dealing with a very long/irregular (and therefore frustrating) second cycle. 

Now that I'm in my 3rd cycle TTC, and have excellent timing, and am feeling a bit of deja vu from my BFP (which I got on New Years Day this year), I am feeling optimistic, which is worrying me that I'm in for a horrible let down if I don't get a BFP at the end of this week.

I really wanted to get PG again before the end of this year. I wanted so bad to get pregnant quickly after being cleared since I was SO patient in waiting in the first place.  

Does anyone have any tips or suggestions to help prevent me from becoming extra upset about a possible negative HPT? How can I regain a sense of calm and patience about things???

SheriBT

I think going in with an attitude of "if it happens, awesome!  But if not, there is next cycle" helps.  Kind of taking the middle road with it instead of getting yourself too excited or too depressed.

I try to always have something positive to look forward to when testing.  Even if it is a BFN, then there is a back-up to make me feel a little better- like a dinner at my favorite restaurant, a bottle of wine or beer waiting, something. 

I truly hope you get your BFP.  FX for you!

haziedaze

Sometimes it's worked for me to make plans for the next cycle. Like plan a special romantic weekend away when I think I will ovulate next or plan a night out for cocktails with friends. Its kinda a crazy trick but it does make me plan for not getting pregnant this cycle.

shanna82

I'm sorry--I don't have any advice.  Every 2ww I have convinced myself I'm KU, and then I have had a break down every time I see that temp drop.  I can't help it....I'm optimistic.

Stretchad

shanna82:

I'm sorry--I don't have any advice.  Every 2ww I have convinced myself I'm KU, and then I have had a break down every time I see that temp drop.  I can't help it....I'm optimistic.

Shanna I am so happy for you! And, I just noticed your EDD is my b-day :-)

Rawr08

I have no tips, I can't control myself.  One day I am fine, then the next I'm not.  I hope you can get your BFP soon!

CashewsMommy

((((hugs))))

I wish I knew how to help you. I am feeling the same exact thing. This is my first cycle that I ovulated in 6 months and our timing was great. I am really hopeful, but as the days go on I'm getting nervous. I really do not know how i'll react if I get a BFN after waiting all of this time to even ovulate.

If you find out the secret. Please pass it on. I really wish I could help.

TeacherVicky

shanna82:

I'm sorry--I don't have any advice.  Every 2ww I have convinced myself I'm KU, and then I have had a break down every time I see that temp drop.  I can't help it....I'm optimistic.

This. I am sorry. I get my hopes up every cycle, even though I don't have any symptoms. It sucks to see a BFN or AF.

brian's_wife

I love the idea of planning something to look forward to after testing. The disappointment is always there, but at least something positive to do afterwards.

I'm not sure if you're religious at all or not, but for me, just leaving it all in God's hands for His perfect timing helps me in the patience department. It's still hard, but helps me through. That's just me though.

Big hugs......this is a very hard process! 

itsmegin

I don't know if I am qualified to give you advice-we only had to wait 3 cycles and I was impatient and awful during that wait and cheated on TTA all the time (as in not always using a condom). It just seems like being pregnant again, especially before your EDD (which for me is in a month so that's not happening) is the only way this could all be okay.

Anyway so I guess I say that only to say, I get how you feel, it's really hard to be patient and rational about the whole thing. I think back to the time I spent on TTGP and the short time I have spent here and try to pattern my behavior after the amazing patience I have seen demonstrated by the other posters who have waited much longer than I have, and remember I have no right to complain or feel frustrated.

I don't know if that idea really works, but it's the best I know how to do. I hope you get your BFP and you don't even have to be patient for anything but the arrival of your LO. 

pinkr0ses

I love the idea of having something to look forward to.  I have no words of wisdom (this will be my first cycle TTC), but can offer up some patience dust and lots of ehugs!!!

camdenfaithful

I have no advice.  Every month was a total and complete roller coaster of emotions.  I'd get hopeful around FWP time, knew I was totally KU at the beginning of the 2ww, and then crushed when AF would show.

I think it's ok to feel sad and disappointed each time you don't get a BFP.  It's only natural.  It's something you want and something you're working hard to achieve.  I always put a limit on my self loathing though.  CD 1 was always the worst.  As long as I was bleeding I could host elaborate pity parties but once it was gone, pity party was over.

rock-elle

shanna82:

I'm sorry--I don't have any advice.  Every 2ww I have convinced myself I'm KU, and then I have had a break down every time I see that temp drop.  I can't help it....I'm optimistic.

This for me too, I try and try to remain optimistic.  For me the highs are high and the let-downs were aweful .  (I swear I'm not actually bi-polar!)

This will happen my dear, just remember that {{hugs}}

damabo80

Hugs. What worked for me is to have an alternate plan such as "if I'm not KUed this cycle, then we're going to Six Flags and I'll ride all the coasters.

In other words, plan for -HPT....and hopefully you'll be pleasantly surprised. But if not, you still have something that you're looking forward to, that you wouldn't be able to do if you were KUed.

HopefulMoll

Sometimes I get totally overwhelmed by feelings of anxiety about getting pregnant, and I obsess over my fertility calendar app on my phone. I decided to keep track of my cycles, but that's it, and just keep having sex a lot, and I've given myself a new focus of getting into shape. I know it sounds kind of cliche, but it works for me to think that if I get a BFN for this month, it's one more month that I can work-out really hard and slim-down some more before the pregnancy weight gain! Good Luck!

ColleenS629

I had some pretty bad lows in the first several cycles TTCAL. Then I kind of just came to expect that I wouldn't be KU. This cycle is my first treatment cycle so I definitely have my hopes up already and I don't even know if we'll make it to the IUI without having to cancel. I wish I knew how to keep my emotions in check, but if you find out, let me know!

Deepak&Derek

I am sorry you are going through all this stress during your 2ww.  I hope this is your cycle.  2ww stresses me also, so I started doing yoga.  This cycle I am way more relaxed than the previous cycle.  If you have any yoga tapes or can get it from internet, I would give that a shot.  Other than that I try to pick up on projects around the house or visit my family or friends, so I don't sit home and think about if I am PG or not.  GL

Runnergirl2242

shanna82:

I'm sorry--I don't have any advice.  Every 2ww I have convinced myself I'm KU, and then I have had a break down every time I see that temp drop.  I can't help it....I'm optimistic.

 Ditto for me too.