The hardest Christmas ever
cgr8979
member
I am 8 months pregnant, single and so sad. I was with my mom, dad, sister and her husband for the last 5 days and it killed me. I was so bitter and so angry with everyone that I couldn't enjoy the holidays. I am so lonely and so sad that J has been so un-involved with my pregnancy.
I just recently moved and my parents brought all my things out of storage (b/c J wouldn't ever commit to driving to their house 8 hours away to get it all out of storage) on Tuesday night and J met us over here to help unload. We didn't speak at all as he was unloading stuff. My parents left and J walked me to my car. I was (trying) to be very strong and hold in any sort of emotion I had. He gave me a very long hug and kissed me on the cheek and said he wanted to help come over next week to help put things together and set up. I just agreed and got in my car and left.
I got a text from him on Christmas eve that said Merry Christmas to my family and our soon to be. I wanted to throw the phone across the room. He's so involved one day and then absent the next. I never know what to expect.
I just got home today and I am sitting in my apt...crying. I have so much to do and all I can think about is how I'm single and alone and 8 months pregnant while he's out doing gosh knows what.
I've been getting caught up on here and just crying at some of the stories of how hard it is once LO is here and you're alone. I don't know wha'ts harder...not knowing if I'll have my little girl with me next Christmas or knowing I'll have her and be alone.
Re: The hardest Christmas ever
I'm so sorry, but I disagree that it will only get harder. Next year you will have LO! That is the most special Christmas gift ever!
I was reflecting yesterday about how much better this Christmas was than the last two. In 2008, XH and I were together, but having so many problems. I had just found out he'd cheated on me, and I was 7 weeks pg. I was miserable. I was sobbing on Christmas morning, I stayed at my house Christmas Even and then we sort of patched things together for Christmas Day.
Last Christmas I was single and P was four months old, but there was still TONS of drama with SD and his fam.
This year, no SD, I took P up to see his fam (see last post) and it went very well. So I would say, all in all it was MUCH better!
Oh, and I had a date Christmas Eve morning so that was fun!
I was thinking about you during Christmas (I didn't have internet at my sisters) and wanted to see how things went. I remembered reading you had discussed with his parents going to their house Christmas day. So, that was an uplifiting post!
AND you had a DATE Christmas Eve??!!! Oh my gosh, how exciting!!! How did it go? What did yall do? I'm assuming you know this guy this more than just a first date thing since yall went out Christmas eve!
Details!!! I need details! 
I'm sorry xmas was so hard. Holidays really do amplify feelings. What's your story? Your boyfriend is in and out of the picture? What does he want? What do you want?
Well, we had only been together a short time before I got pregnant and he has been in and out of the picture ever since. He goes thru times where he is on a high for this baby and can't wait for her to get here and us to be a family. Then, I don't hear from him for weeks. His whole family is on my side and they are wonderful. I speak to his mom about once a week (he still lives with her...yeah he's 30 and still lives at home). So, I get updates on him and she tells me he's just "lost" and very immature...duh!!! So, I have no clue what he really wants. He's been partying VERY hard the last few months to just mask what issues he's really got. So, I know he's very unstable and I don't want that for me or Tatum. But, he still is very difficult to watch him just throw his life away b/c he can't man up. I've heard many people say that once she gets here he will want nothing to do with his old life and be completely devoted to her...I hope and pray that is the case, but sadly, I don't think he deserves even that much credit. I love him so much, but hate him at the same time.
Haha, it wasn't THAT big of a deal. He's someone that I've known for a long time. He's actually my brother's friend. We hung out last weekend at my cousin's victory party (because he did so well at the National Finals Rodeo). Anyways, he was in town Thursday night and texted me and then ended up staying the night....that sounds bad but it was very PG-promise!
Then he asked me to go to breakfast the next morning. Idk if he's a relationship material sort of guy. I mean, he COULD be, but I think he's still not in that place because he was engaged and she cheated on him and they called off their wedding which was supposed to be in August. Plus, we are pretty different, he's a cowboy, which is great, but I'm probably a little "high maintenance" for him. He couldn't believe I had so many pairs of shoes! But he is SO nice. Like SO nice. So there's something about him that I like. He's definitely not my type physically, he's a smaller type guy and wears boots, a cowboy hat, and jeans. It's weird because I've known him forever and NEVER looked twice at him, but always kind of known that he was interested in me. And then, all of the sudden, after everything I've been through, I see him differently, weird! IDK, we'll see!
I would be VERY leery of this advice. I tend to disagree with this sort of thinking. If he is acting this immaturely now, it will probably only be made worse when he has responsibilities like changing diapers, a crying baby, is sleep deprived, etc.
I think that you need to prepare yourself for the worst (as it sounds like you are doing). IMO a real man wouldn't be out doing what he's doing trying to "prepare" himself for the idea of being a father. He needs to act accordingly now and be there for you.
Plus, will you ever get over the resentment towards him, even if he DOES come around?
Where do you live...if you don't feel comfortable saying, just say north/east/south/west. LOL I live in TX and Cowboys aren't my thing either...they all tend to think I'm a little "HM" at times. hahahaa So, I totally understand that opinion! I'm anxious to hear how this plays out. Keep us posted...or at least me. I'm all for a good story...especially when it comes to you since you have gone through so much, you deserve it!!!!
I've got an ex that is after me. The only reason we broke up was b/c I moved across the us for a job. He got married, she cheated, they divorced. He has been pursuing me for the last 8 months and has said that he would love to be a father to Tatum. I haven't even seen him since I've been pregnant b/c I just don't think it's fair to either of us. I am in a very weak stage in my life and don't want to pursue that for the wrong reasons. My parents asked about him and no kidding, not even a few hours later yesterday he called to wish us all a Merry Christmas. I didn't answer, but I'm starting to realize he may not be such a bad "pursuit" afterall.
I will wait until after my LO is born to explore that, but it's nice to know he still hasn't given up 
I live in Northern CA, it's a rural area so there are a lot of cowboys. It's what my family does too so it's not all that far off from me. I ride horses and we have a ranch. It's just that I am the type that can do all that, get my hands dirty, but I can clean up too. I bet this guy doesn't have a clue about designer jeans, Starbucks, or anything like that. Not that that's what matters in life, I just think he's a little more simple than me. IDK, we'll see, he's been texting the last few days, and he left his hat in my car and I told him about it. He said "well, that'll just give me an excuse to see you again next time I'm in town". I've got a few other "irons in the fire" so I think it's best that way. I get worried about putting all of my eggs in one basket and getting hurt.
This other guy sounds like a sweet guy for you. However, I think you are VERY smart to wait. You are still hurting from your ex, and obviously not over him yet. When/if you were to get into a relationship with someone else, you want to do it for the RIGHT reasons. That's the most important lesson I have learned through all of this: you can be your OWN knight in shining armor. I think when we are single moms we often think or hear that we need to be rescued. That's not true. We need to be whole on our own before we can have a successful relationship.
Well, actually having P made things abundantly (sp?) more clear for me. I wanted nothing to do with SD after having P. I loved P so much and it killed me to realize that he had not only put ME through helll but P too. I wrote about it in my blog (not sure if you follow) but I blogged about the whole birth experience.
I worried that I would want to be closer to D when he started having visits and that it would give me a false sense of "family" with SD. It didn't work like that. He never bonded with P and he was faking it to get to me. That turned me off big time. He had no connection with him, it was almost as if he wasn't his son. I think that someone else, who didn't biologically create P will have more of a tie with him.
I feel exactly the same way. I'll be 7 months pregnant next week and I'm all alone too. My exbf left when I was 5 months pregnant. He turned 30 and decided that he wants to party and he didn't love me anymore and can't be happy with me blah blah blah. I cry all the time but only when I'm alone cause my mom has no sympathy she hated him anyway. She said he made the choice to not be apart of mine or my daughters life. It tears me apart and breaks my heart :-(. You can pm me too if you want to talk. I figure we can bond since we are both pregnant and alone.
OMG!!! We have almost exactly the same situation. That's scary. I thought I was the only one going through this. He's been partying so hard and going on trips with his friends. Snowboarding weekend, Vegas for a week after that, etc. I just don't get it?? He just acts like nothing happened. I'm at the point which I don't think he deserves to be with me or her. He gets to party and act like a fool my whole pregnancy and then expect everything to be ok once she's born?? I don't think so. He should have been here going through this pregnancy with me. Guys just don't get it and they never will.
Just sent you a pm
Santas little helper!