In disbelief over BIL

Lizzyie325

Sorry, just need to rant here. My sister and nephew will be coming in a little while, and there's so much to get done before Christmas eve, but I'm in disbelief over my BIL. He is refusing to come to Christmas. He told my sister that it goes against his Jewish identity to celebrate Christmas. While that's a little rude, I'd be fine with it, but he isn't observant at all. He worked on Rosh Hashanah and wouldn't fast on Yom Kippur. Also, my mom, myself, my sister and DS are Jewish. We began celebrating Christmas as a family event because my dad is Catholic.

  It's going to end up being a much nicer evening without him; he's the type that always has to have the conversation about him. I just really can't believe it. It's not a religious holiday for us, it's a family holiday. We get together to exchange presents and then watch the Grinch and the Christmas carol.

   Sorry for this rant, this just took us by surprise.

CalinsBride

He sounds like a douche. I feel bad for your sister.

MarriedBestFriends

Ick. As a religious Jew I take offense at people who claim our religion only when it best benefits them. I will say that I can't medically fast on YK so there is sometimes a reason for that, but H was born Christian (he has converted, we were married in our synagogue and DD is being raised in a religiously Jewish household) so we are heading to SIL's shortly to help them celebrate their important holiday. My Rabbi once told me to explain it to our children like we would explain another child's birthday party--- it isn't our celebration but we can help our friends/family celebrate their special day. That doesn't go against any "religious identity". 

luvdv8

MarriedBestFriends:

Ick. As a religious Jew I take offense at people who claim our religion only when it best benefits them. I will say that I can't medically fast on YK so there is sometimes a reason for that, but H was born Christian (he has converted, we were married in our synagogue and DD is being raised in a religiously Jewish household) so we are heading to SIL's shortly to help them celebrate their important holiday. My Rabbi once told me to explain it to our children like we would explain another child's birthday party--- it isn't our celebration but we can help our friends/family celebrate their special day. That doesn't go against any "religious identity". 

This. I have a close group of friends that makes up quite the ethnic collage- I've gone to a bris, a traditional Hindu wedding and a Christening in just the last 3 months- I never considered it to be against my "religious identity" to celebrate with friends. I would have been really off put if one of my friends (never mind family) said they couldn't come to our wedding (for example) because it was in conflict with their religion.

tpandr08

At least he doesn't expect presents...or maybe he does and then he would be just as big a douche as my SIL.  We were all raised catholic, as was she, went to catholic school.  She decided to practice Judaism, never converted, so she doesn't go to church with us on holidays, doesn't buy anyone else presents for Christmas...which is fine.  HOWEVER, she gets her feelings hurt when she comes to Christmas celebrations and only gets one or two gifts from my parents....

I'm sorry, thats freakin' rude!!!

robynlesley

He's an a$$.

While nobody in my immediate family is Christian (my cousin's husband is Catholic), if someone was, we'd go over for Christmas if invited. It's called being respectful of others.

And I've had my Episcopalian BFF over for Passover and Hanukkah. I don't see the big deal.

I'm sorry your BIL is a putz.