Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Ferber mom, pls come in

I've noticed that a few of you mommies have used Ferber and have been successful w/ it. I tried it a few nights ago and gave up after night 2. She cried for 2.5 hours her first night and 2 hours after her first night waking. On the 2nd night she cried for 1.5 hours, but then 2.5 hours after her first night waking. It was so hard on DH and I that we decided to stop. I was wondering how long your DC's cried when put to bed and how long they cried after their night waking. Has anyone's DC cried as much as my DD did? I feel kind of hopeless right now. I know DD needs to learn how to put herself to sleep and I feel that Ferber might be the only way. I'm just scared to Ferber her again (or use any method that requires CIO) b/c those 2 nights were HORRIBLE!!! I've tried some of the methods in the No Cry Sleep Solution, but they didn't work. DD is just really stubborn, I guess. **SIGH**

Re: Ferber mom, pls come in

  • I would have had a really hard time if my DD had cried that much.  At the most, she cried 20 minutes...but that was once.  We started out with a fairly good sleeper, so we didn;t have much to improve.  I don;t really know what to suggest, other than to say that I don;t blame you for being frustrated!


  • ferber is not for every family or baby.  but any sleep plan you pick you really have to be consistent with it.  i would recommend giving it at least a week of consistancy.

    ds did fine with ferber but he was older when we had to use it (9 months) so he was very aware of his surroundings and i was confident that he had the capability to self soothe.  i chose not to let ds cry more than 20 mins but i lucked out and he never did.  there are times though if i have to go in a 3 rd time i will give him motrin (if i know he is teething )and change his diaper but i have a special way of doing all this in the dark without having to take ds out of the crib.  i try to eliminate as many disturbances as possible.  i repeat night nights in a quiet voice to him and shsh him and pat and until he is calm and then leave. 

    like i mentioned try to be consistent with any sleep solution.  maybe try picking up Feber's book it has a lot to it and can give you the reasoning behind the technique.

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  • that is a very long time to cry and I can totally understand your frustration. We had a similar situation with the middle of the night crying. So we only let DS CIO for going to bed and then if he cried more than an hour in the middle of the night we'd go to him. It seemed get things much better but not perfect for us. See my post about about "Possible option instead/in addition to"
  • My son never cried that long, I wouldnt' be able to take it either.  I would suggest maybe waiting a week or so and try it again.  My Husband and I had to really decide to stick to it, it was SO hard, I cried myself. 

    I do have to say that it works.  my son now sleeps from 7:00 to 6:30.  I know that not what you want to hear right now, but hopefully it will provide some encouragement!!

    When I did Ferber (and this isn't the "right" way) when I went to soothe him, I would give him his pacifier, turn on this music with lights on the ceiling rub his head until he calmed down then left the room.....if he started crying after I left I would start the countdown again, etc...It really worked for us in about 3 nights. 

  • I'd say it was an hour the first night, and only about 10 minutes after that.

    However, he regressed this week and last night was up for about 2 hours crying. At one point, he was quiet, and DH wanted me to make sure he was still breathing. So I snuck in, and he was laying there wide awake. As soon as he saw me, the whole process started again.

    However, we do still rock him to sleep, we just used Ferber for night wakings.

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