Last night, I picked DS up from daycare, and they had changed him after a blowout into a long sleeved shirt. We stopped at the store, which ended up taking awhile, so by the time we got home, it was pretty much straight into the tub. When I was bathing him, I found what I would consider a pretty large bruise on his elbow area that I didn't notice when I picked him up b/c of the long sleeves.
I tried to not think too much of it b/c I figured that DCP just forgot to mention what happened and that I'd ask this a.m. when I dropped him off, which I did. They had no explanation for what happened. They said that he didn't fall any worse than usual yesterday, have any unexplained crying, and wasn't around the bigger kids much at all. Then they gave me some flaky explanation about maybe sleeping funny on it during naptime, which makes no sense to me b/c he sleeps in a PNP.
The thing is, kids get bruises, and I don't want to jump to conclusions. On the other hand, it's a really bad bruise for a kid his size (probably the size of a quarter on either side of his elbow, with a creased area that's not bruised in between but still connected, very purple and nasty looking, probably about 3 inches...most of his arm...total in length if his arm is straight). I wasn't really suspicious until this a.m., and then something just doesn't seem right.
Yes, he's pulling up, and yes, he falls. But how does a kid get a bruise this big w/o anyone noticing? Plus, he's taken some really hard falls at home and has yet to really get any bruising. I'd expect some from time to time, but this looks like more than just a little fall.
WWYD? We're leaving anyway in a couple of months, so I hate to make a daycare switch b/c he's in that separation anxiety stage. On the other hand, I'm starting to worry that either he's not being watched closely enough or something far worse. I'm just sick.
Re: WWYD? bad bruise/daycare
Hmmm have you had his iron checked lately? I would first check to see if there is a medical reason why he is bruising up so bad. Other than that I can't give you any advice. You have to go with your gut on this one to see if it is something that should be pursued or not.
I called the daycare director and had a long talk. She agrees that this is unacceptable and will keep an extra eye on DD. Well, 20 minutes later, I get a phone call back... DD fell AGAIN! At least this time they were able to tell me exactly what happened. Grr....
I did notice that the teachers are keeping an extra eye on DD, and they give me a full report of her day when I come pick her up each day now.
I feel your pain...
I found out this a.m. that the helper had DS and a couple of other little guys his age in another room for most of the day yesterday. I wouldn't think anything of it w/o the bruise, but I'm trusting her less and less.
I'm so glad we're about to be done with daycare. Please, God, let our house sell fast.
I would be very concerned as well. Not to enflame the siutation, but it sounds like a bruise you would get from grabbing the elbow...maybe he fell and they tried to grab him? Was he wearing a long-sleeved shirt at DC? maybe it happened and they didn't notice it either.
I would talk to the director and explain. I think we are all so fearful of being "that mom" that we don't approach for genuine issues.
That being said, bruises happen. I could understand that every stumble or fall may not be seen. I have had bruises before that I had no idea where they came from, did not hurt at the time. It is possible that DS fell unnoticed did not cry becuase it did not hurt and still got a bruise.
If you feel it is an unsafe place report it, pull DS out, but dont pull him out with out telling them why. It should be sighted. Good luck, and hang in there.
IF (and I mean a really big IF) this or some other case was taken to court, it would be important for this to be on record.
Other than that, I don't know what to say because I don't have day care experience. I do agree with the pp to call your pedi. Even if they don't test your baby's iron, they could give you some good advice re: what to do with your DCP.
Just a thought... did they have any proof (like a soiled onesie) that he had a blowout? Is it common for your DC to blowout?
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I am so sorry you are dealing with so much other stress on top of the bruise issue. Job changes, selling a house , moving, DH moving first, could you be asked to deal with anything else. I will be praying for your house to sell soon. I hope that you do get answers and hopefully your pedi will be helpful too. Hang in there.
My ds had a minor bruise on his cheek and they noticed at dc but had no idea how he got it. I happened to have a drs. appt. the next day and asked about it. The pedi was able to tell me that it was a common spot for crawling kids to get a bruise and that it was probably the result of just a minor bump. That made me feel better.
So, good call on the Pedi appt. beyond the iron thing, they can give you more input on the circumstances that may cause that type of bruise.
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That being said, the elbow area is not usually a "red flag" when it comes to child abuse. Still, maybe having it evaluated by a professional would be the way to go.
Does you DS seem fearful of daycare or a particular provider? I'm sorry you're going through this. I obsess about every scratch or red mark on my DD, and imagine I'd be freaking out too in your position.