Babies: 9 - 12 Months

WWYD? bad bruise/daycare

Last night, I picked DS up from daycare, and they had changed him after a blowout into a long sleeved shirt.  We stopped at the store, which ended up taking awhile, so by the time we got home, it was pretty much straight into the tub.  When I was bathing him, I found what I would consider a pretty large bruise on his elbow area that I didn't notice when I picked him up b/c of the long sleeves.

I tried to not think too much of it b/c I figured that DCP just forgot to mention what happened and that I'd ask this a.m. when I dropped him off, which I did.  They had no explanation for what happened.  They said that he didn't fall any worse than usual yesterday, have any unexplained crying, and wasn't around the bigger kids much at all.  Then they gave me some flaky explanation about maybe sleeping funny on it during naptime, which makes no sense to me b/c he sleeps in a PNP.

The thing is, kids get bruises, and I don't want to jump to conclusions.  On the other hand, it's a really bad bruise for a kid his size (probably the size of a quarter on either side of his elbow, with a creased area that's not bruised in between but still connected, very purple and nasty looking, probably about 3 inches...most of his arm...total in length if his arm is straight).  I wasn't really suspicious until this a.m., and then something just doesn't seem right. 

Yes, he's pulling up, and yes, he falls.  But how does a kid get a bruise this big w/o anyone noticing?  Plus, he's taken some really hard falls at home and has yet to really get any bruising.  I'd expect some from time to time, but this looks like more than just a little fall.

WWYD?  We're leaving anyway in a couple of months, so I hate to make a daycare switch b/c he's in that separation anxiety stage.  On the other hand, I'm starting to worry that either he's not being watched closely enough or something far worse.  I'm just sick.
 

Re: WWYD? bad bruise/daycare

  • Hmmm have you had his iron checked lately? I would first check to see if there is a medical reason why he is bruising up so bad. Other than that I can't give you any advice. You have to go with your gut on this one to see if it is something that should be pursued or not.

  • The same thing happened to DD this week!!!  I picked her up on Tuesday and noticed a HUGE bruise on her forehead.  I asked about it and they told me they had filled out an accident report.  In the report, it didn't say much, other than they iced it and gave her some TLC...  They wanted to transition DD from the infant room to the toddlers room, even though she's not walking on her own yet.  Long story short, no one could tell me what caused that bruise on her head!  I understand kids will fall while learning to walk, but, for DD to get a bruise that big, I'm sure she cried.  The most disturbing thing is, NO ONE NOTICED!!! 

    I called the daycare director and had a long talk.  She agrees that this is unacceptable and will keep an extra eye on DD.  Well, 20 minutes later, I get a phone call back... DD fell AGAIN!  At least this time they were able to tell me exactly what happened.  Grr....

    I did notice that the teachers are keeping an extra eye on DD, and they give me a full report of her day when I come pick her up each day now. 

    I feel your pain...
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  • some children are more susceptible to bruising.  Call your pedi to see what they say.  They could do a blood test to see if it's an vitamin deficiency.  By process of elimination you can figure that out.   But remember to always trust your motherly instinct.  
  • I should add that another piece of info that I got this a.m. made me worry more too.  I had a little problem with my DCP's part-time helper (I was 7min late one day when she was there with the kids alone...only time I've been late ever), and she really held a grudge for along time even though I paid the whopping $25 late fee.  She wouldn't wave or speak to me if we crossed paths for the longest time.  The lack of professionalism with her has bugged me for a long time, and I decided to never leave DS when it's just her there.  But, I figured it was ok as long as DCP was there.

    I found out this a.m. that the helper had DS and a couple of other little guys his age in another room for most of the day yesterday.  I wouldn't think anything of it w/o the bruise, but I'm trusting her less and less.

    I'm so glad we're about to be done with daycare.  Please, God, let our house sell fast. 
     
  • This would absolutely concern me. We have a sitter at our hour and every tiny red mark she tells me about exactly what happens, how it happened and most of the time it doesn't even leave a bruise. Even when I have seen him fall hard, he has rarely gotten more than a tiny light bruise. Maybe I'm over reacting, but a bruise like you are describing on a child this young sounds scary that they daycare has no idea how it happened. Now, what to do?? So hard. Do you know any other parents that have kids there? Can you call them to see if they have ever seen unusual marks? Do you have anyone who can watch your baby temporarily? You said you are leaving, leaving the daycare or the town? If leaving the daycare, can you leave earlier? It's hard, but in the end, our children are not something to risk. Worst case, sit down with the DCP and discuss your concerns.
  • Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear this. When dd gets hurt at daycare, which now that she is sort of walking is every couple of weeks, they have an accident report explaining the nature of the injury, what it is where it is how it happened and her reaction. They have us sign off on the form before we go home. Usually it is a split lip or a red area on her head (poor thing can't catch herself yet). The other day we got her home and I changed her clothes and found a bite mark on her arm. 3 teeth on top 4 on the bottom. The next day they were extremely apologetic and said they were surprised (they new who's teeth they were) but that dd had not been fussy or cried at all the day before. So sometimes baby's are more resilient that we would think. However, that sounds pretty serious. I would talk to your dr or someone who is trained in seeing child abuse, and then go with your gut. If it doesn't feel right, don't assume you're crazy. Even if your little one wasn't intentionally hurt, something might be amiss
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  • We're moving out of state for DH's job, and I will be SAH with him.  Unfortunately, the plan has been for me to stay here with DS until our house sells (ideally) or at least Xmas time (closer to Jan 1 for our new high-deductible health insurance).  I don't know if we can afford for me to SAH until our house sells even with cutting way back on everything, but I hate to let money and finances get in the way of DS' wellbeing either.
     
  • I would be very concerned as well.  Not to enflame the siutation, but it sounds like a bruise you would get from grabbing the elbow...maybe he fell and they tried to grab him?  Was he wearing a long-sleeved shirt at DC?  maybe it happened and they didn't notice it either.

    I would talk to the director and explain.  I think we are all so fearful of being "that mom" that we don't approach for genuine issues.

  • We are in Inhome care and have a great relationship with the two ladies. I would voice my concerns to the teachers and the director of the center.  I would probably say something along the lines of... It could be first time mom stuff, but I am just trying to figure out where a bruise like this could have come from. State prior big fall experience. I would try to explain that it is bothering me that I cannot wrap my mind around what would have happened. If you dont feel the answers you get are good enough say so. I understand where you are coming from but it is your responsiblily to get a straight answer and if they cannot provide it should be questioned.

    That being said, bruises happen. I could understand that every stumble or fall may not be seen. I have had bruises before that I had no idea where they came from, did not hurt at the time. It is possible that DS fell unnoticed did not cry becuase it did not hurt and still got a bruise.

    If you feel it is an unsafe place report it, pull DS out, but dont pull him out with out telling them why. It should be sighted. Good luck, and hang in there.
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  • I really don't know anything about day cares or how this works, but is there anyway to file a complaint / get it on record - either with them or some day care gods?  I think it's important to get this on record in case you (or anyone else!) has a problem come up again.

    IF (and I mean a really big IF) this or some other case was taken to court, it would be important for this to be on record.

    Other than that, I don't know what to say because I don't have day care experience.  I do agree with the pp to call your pedi.  Even if they don't test your baby's iron, they could give you some good advice re: what to do with your DCP.

    Just a thought... did they have any proof (like a soiled onesie) that he had a blowout?  Is it common for your DC to blowout?
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  • Yes, he did have a blowout yesterday, and that's not uncommon for him.  He sometimes gets called the poop king at our house.
     
  • I called and got a pedi appt for this afternoon.  That gives me the opportunity to at least get him early and maybe get some answers.
     
  • I am so sorry you are dealing with so much other stress on top of the bruise issue. Job changes, selling a house , moving, DH moving first, could you be asked to deal with anything else. I will be praying for your house to sell soon. I hope that you do get answers and hopefully your pedi will be helpful too. Hang in there.

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  • I would be concerned.  DD is in an in-home center as well and, while I don't get an accident report, I do get an explaination if she falls.  If it's a tiny scratch a lot of times they don't know what happened but that's not surprising.  A bruise like the one your DS has should certainly have some kind of explaination.
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  • If I'm imagining this correctly... could it be that someone at daycare yanked him by the arm? (finger marks?) Go with your gut hon. If something doesn't feel right it's worth investigating. This does'nt sound right to me either.
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  • My ds had a minor bruise on his cheek and they noticed at dc but had no idea how he got it.  I happened to have a drs. appt. the next day and asked about it.  The pedi was able to tell me that it was a common spot for crawling kids to get a bruise and that it was probably the result of just a minor bump. That made me feel better.

    So, good call on the Pedi appt. beyond the iron thing, they can give you more input on the circumstances that may cause that type of bruise.     

  • MrsReem, I thought about that too, but I didn't find marks on the inside of his arm.  Given that, I actually figured that one of the bigger kids (toddler age) hit him in the arm with a toy, but their explanation, what little there was, seemed to steer away from that too.  Ugh, this is going to be the longest day until his pedi appt.
     
  • Plus, if the pedi thinks it came from a grab then you have an professional's opinion to back you up if you were going to confront the provider or file a complaint.
  • So glad you are going to the pedi.  Also (I've been thinking about this all morning now), I would take a picture of it.  Just to have.  Just in case.
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  • Iron levels may have a little to do with bruising but Vitmain K controls clotting factors and low Vit K can cause atypical bruising and can make them seem much worse than normal because they get larger than normal. However, if he had an iron or K problem, you would probably have noticed something during his normal spills and falls at your house too.
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  • As a pp remarked, maybe it is from someone grabbing him around his arm.  Round bruises can sometimes be formed by fingerprints. 

    That being said, the elbow area is not usually a "red flag" when it comes to child abuse.  Still, maybe having it evaluated by a professional would be the way to go. 

    Does you DS seem fearful of  daycare or a particular provider?  I'm sorry you're going through this.  I obsess about every scratch or red mark on my DD, and imagine I'd be freaking out too in your position. 
  • pictures are the best way to document this stuff.  I hope everything gets resolved soon.
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