Ft. Lewis — The Bump
Military Families

Ft. Lewis

Well DH just got his orders for Ft. Lewis and I am so not looking forward to it. It is so far away from family and everyone I know. I'm currently in FL so that is the other side of the country for me. Not to leave out the fact that I'm taking my mother's first and only grandchild away only to see her maybe twice a year. My family believes in very close bonds and I've never lived more than two hours away from them. On the other hand I must be in  DH corner especially seeing as that we have a 2 mth. old son and its our first. I don't know anyone and will be leaving a job I love. I know I will meet other wives and can find another job but this is all to much.I only prepared myself for the East Coast mentally. I really don't want to go and it's cold there!!! Just out of curiosity I priced flights and they are expensive and 8 hrs. on average, that's crazy when traveling alone with a NB. Help!!!!!!!!!
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Re: Ft. Lewis

  • I'm sorry that this is going to be such a difficult move for you. Had you talked to your DH about your concerns before he joined? What support has he offered? Is he being understanding of your concerns?
    That said, IMO, going into this move with such a negative attitude is only going to make things worse. You can choose to be unhappy or you can choose to make the best of the situation. I would get in touch with Fort Lewis's ACS Office to see what they have for incoming families. Start looking at housing options. Check out online job sites. Do what you can to learn about the area, it will help the transition.

    Life as a military spouse is not easy. My DH & I have been married for four years & we are living in house number six (five different duty stations). My DH was deployed for half my pregnancy, the delivery and first nine months of our only child's life. I have given up any hopes of continuing my career until DH retires (which is less than five years away, I met DH when he already had ten plus years in). I see my family much less than I used to, but, I choose to marry my soldier. I choose to accept this lifestyle. My DH loves what he does and I support him 100%, that was a conscious decision I made when we decided to get married. Somedays are easier than others, but this is our life together.

    Good luck with the move! I hope it goes better than you expect.
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  • It's going to suck.

    No, really. It's going to be tough to move away, meet new friends, set up a new house, be away from family. BUT- you have to find some sort of positive way to get through it or you will be miserable the whole time. Have you started looking at housing? Maybe focus on finding the perfect house or apartment. What about looking for a playgroup in that area? Try checking out some tourism websites for that area and see what stuff you will be able to explore once you get there and get established.

    I'm about to leave AD military, have a newborn, and PCS away from the state that I have lived in for the past 15 years. I "get it"... my move scares me too. But I have found things to look forward to, and I am using that to keep myself from freaking out too much. Hang in there... you might even love it :)

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  • I agree with the others.  If you only think of the negatives your time at each place will suck.  Moving away is tough but it's what our men signed up to do.  Did you express these concerns you have before he enlisted?  My mom was mad at us for moving away and taking her grandkids.  It only took a few months for her to see this is the right thing for us.  Get Skype and some webcams.  Once your son gets older he can make pictures and send them to grandma.  My mom and other family members have always loved this.  

    Our first move was to Germany.  It was tough because not only were we leaving the only state I have ever lived in, a job a loved etc but we were going to another country.  I was freaked for the first week or so after I found out then I just started researching.  I started looking up the area we were going to and finding things to get excited about.  I LOVED my time in Germany and wish I could go back.  I didn't even see my family once a year (I went back to Omaha twice for funerals out of the almost 5 years we were there) but it was fine.  I made a new "family" with the friends that I made.  I seen a ton of people who hated Germany.  Most of them were ones who didn't want to embrace the new experience and pretty much just stayed on base.  If you don't look at what you are giving up you will see what you will be gaining.

    I am at Ft Lewis now.  Moving here was harder for me than moving to Germany.  I like the area (not too sure about the base since I don't go there often) but I just haven't found an amazing group of friends like I had in Germany.  I also haven't really put myself out there much since I am so busy with 3 kids and being in school full time myself.  Yeah, the weather sure isn't Florida but it isn't too bad.  I am also from Nebraska though where it gets REALLY cold lol.

  • I agree with PP... if you go into it with such a negative attitude, it WILL suck. You can't help all the emotions, and I totally understand that... but you CAN try to help how you react to the initial reactions.

    I am from Olympia, WA, born and raised. (That's only about 20 miles or so south of Ft. Lewis, and I know the base kind of ok.) I've lived out of state twice, for very short periods. The max being a year in Oregon with my mom while my DH was deployed this past year.) Our first duty station was Ft. Bragg, NC. I didn't want to leave my family and friends in Washington. No no no no no. I don't want to take my son away from everyone he loves. But, after I got over myself, and remembered that I signed up for this, like it or not.. I got busy.

    I called our FRG and got some information. (Your current FRG and any ACS center can help you get information about any new base you're going to.)  I joined a support website for military wives/girlfriends/fiancee's, etc. THAT was my Godsend. I actually ended up meeting a group of wives here at Ft. Bragg before I got here. None of us have husbands in the same companies, but we all get together and do lunch at least once a month,... and sometimes do play dates with our kids, etc. (BTW: I've only been at Ft. Bragg since July 3rd, 2010, and I'm a stay-at-home mom with NO extra car, and I've managed to make a lot of friends, with an without my husband.) It's alll about using as many resources as  you can! Look at it as an adventure! 

    Plus, you have a network here on TheBump... and if you have FB... look up groups for military/army wives, or whatever you prefer. I am still a member of quite a few support sites and support pages on FB, and it's extremely helpful when I have a question about whatever (military related or not) or just need to vent to people who "get it"... Because let's face it... we have a life like no other! All we can do is embrace it and do as best as we can. 

    I get that moving away from family is going to be the toughest thing for you, having a newborn. My husband's family is in Louisiana, and they constantly gave us hell for living in Washington, where MY family was.  (Washington was prior to my DH's enlistment.) I agree, again w/ PP's on this: skype (or any other video chat service) and webcams are a great alternative for when traveling back and forth isn't possible. Because you can do it any time, and it's free. If you don't have a webcam built into  a laptop, a decent external camera isn't overly expensive. If it weren't for the fact that I read this post after Xmas, I'd have said that webcams would have been a great Xmas gift! (If you celebrate, of course.)  We skype with both sets of grandparents once, sometimes twice a week since we moved.

    And if you have any questions about Washington, I'm more than willing to answer some for you! It really is a pretty state... and it's not *that* cold. It's wet, a lot of the time... but not that cold. (Although, compared to Florida, I imagine that it will be much colder than you're used to.) 

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  • So I am super glad I have you as a bestie goin up there with me. I am SOOO FRUSTRATED with this moving!?!?! EEKS!
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