So tired of "you must have your hands full"

Temp6313048411121614 · December 2010

I know we talk about this weekly or so, but I'm getting SOOOOO tired of this comment. I literally can't go into a store without hearing this at least 2-3 times. Now I normally just smile and keep walking, but I'm about to break down. I feel very blessed, and I'll take all of the annoying or rude comments to have my boys. But have you found ANY way to deter people from talking to you, or just another way to look at this comment to make it not so old? I can't imagine the amount of times I've said, "yes I do", or a similar response. They're only 1 year, but I've heard it nearly daily since they've been born, normally 5+ times per day, and I heard how I was going to have my hands full when I was pg. I must sound like an old grouch to those that don't have twins and haven't heard it 10,000 times, but I've LITERALLY probably heard this 1,000 times already (and I really don't think I'm exaggerating).

lgurian · December 2010

i say "naw, just my heart". and to the old "double trouble?" i say "double kisses!"

busybea · December 2010

oh I couldn't agree with you more. I usually avoid eye contact (thanks to a previous suggestion from a MoM) and I know it's rude but there are days when I can't get out of doing a simple food shopping trip without 5-6 people stopping and talking to me.

pea-kay · December 2010

oh, i know. it annoys me SO much. i don't know why, because i know people have the best intentions, but it's like, it's SO FREAKING PREDICTABLE. come up with something new, PLEASE!

Temp6313048411121614 · December 2010

pea-kay:
oh, i know. it annoys me SO much. i don't know why, because i know people have the best intentions, but it's like, it's SO FREAKING PREDICTABLE. come up with something new, PLEASE!

You know, now that you mention it, I do think NEW comments wouldn't be so annoying, it's just that it's the SAME ONE OVER AND OVER. I can't even imagine the comments you must get with trips.

DH took DS1 and William to the store tonight and left Jacob with me. WHY when a toddler and infant is taken out do people not comment, but when it's just the twins, I can't get a few steps without hearing something? Do they really think that twins are harder than a toddler and infant (because our twins are easier than just DS1)?

I don't want them to grow up, but I can't wait for them to be big enough that they don't necessarily look the same age and I don't get the questions anymore. I remember last winter (after they were born) I was at Target and there were 3 y.o B/G twins in line in front of me and I was wondering "are they or aren't they" because of the size difference, can't wait for that day, maybe it'll lessen.

ETA: and I don't mind answering 10 billion questions for someone that's truly curious because they're expecting twins, or their daughter is, etc. It's just the small talk that gets me, the meaning less comments that won't matter 3 seconds later (and the specific "have hands full").

kaitley44 · December 2010

I just avoid eye contact and pretend I don't hear people. What really annoys me is when people step infront of your stroller to tell you that you have your hands full. If my hands were so full, I must also be in a hurry to get things done, so get out of my way!

Most of the time I just say "not really" and walk away.

doz&koz · December 2010

I'm sort of dreading these kinds of comments once the babies are here. I know it's been bad enough while pregnant! Today I got another MoM favorite (for the first time): "My girls are 14 months apart. It was like having twins."

Now my babies aren't here yet, but I'm pretty sure it's NOT like having twins, but we'll see. Smile

shegak · December 2010

My boy/girl twins are 5 years old and I STILL get that comment about having my hands full. When people hear I'm having another set, you should hear the things they say! SO rude. I've had a few people ask me if I was crazy to do it again. Um... nope, perfectly sane, thanks.... just twice (or 4 times) blessed!

TheNewFry · December 2010

busybea:
oh I couldn't agree with you more. I usually avoid eye contact (thanks to a previous suggestion from a MoM) and I know it's rude but there are days when I can't get out of doing a simple food shopping trip without 5-6 people stopping and talking to me.

This is what we have started doing and surprisingly it has cut down on the number of people that stop us. We still hear the, "oh look it's twins" as we walk by, but we don't stop at all unless someone stops us.

Temp159135562506975 · December 2010

avoid eye contact... that saves a LOT of time and comments.

when you have babies- if you wear one and put the other in the infant carrier in the shopping cart and close the cover - people don't say a word- nobody notices you have 2- they just think you are wearing the baby and the infant seat is empty - that was a trick i used a lot

now that they are older- if i put one of them in the front "car" thing, and one up in the seat - nobody comments - they don't notice i have twins that way.

but even with them older - since i have DS1, too - i get comments a LOT if they are all easily visible... i'm used to it- i don't mind- most people mean well - and the ones that don't are complimenting me, even if they don't mean it... b/c if they think that having 3 boys would be so awful that means THEY can't handle it- and I can handle it just fine- so IMO, it's a compliment either way.

nolachick11 · December 2010

I agree! I can take one here or there...but the other day, I ran into one store to get picture frames. The twins were not even making a peep as I gave them their bottle in the stroller. So as I am juggling 8 frames and pushing the stroller, I got "WOW your hands are full" then after I put the frames down, another lady "WOW her hands are full" and another "WOW her hands are full" then an older lady, "how far apart are they, oh wait twins, your hands are full". Then DS made a burp as I was leaving the store, and I said outloud to DS "excuse you honey" in my sweet mommy voice. And when I looked up as I was trying to get the stroller out the door they were all staring at me.

For some reason I let that get to me for a few minutes, but then had to remind myself, that my hands are NOT full and those people don't know any better.

Thanks for letting me vent to your post:)

BeccaLandes · December 2010

I honestly don't mind the comment, I just smile and say, "Yup, we're so lucky!" The only time it bugged me was when I was trying to make a customer service return and this guy said, "wow, twins, you must have your hands full!" when I walked by, and then when there was a question about who would be served next, he very, very grudgingly let me go ahead of him. Seriously, buddy, if my hands are full, let me go ahead of you! Or else you will listen to one of my guys start up because he hates being strapped down into his stroller and you'll be sorry!

Otherwise, I don't mind comments here and there, I am just so thrilled to have two healthy babies after all I went through, and I don't mind sharing my happiness with any poor person who happens to start with me!

Rangergal9 · December 2010

MrsLee04:
"Better full than empty" has worked wonders for me.

Love this!!

SLM05 · December 2010

I feel the same way!!!! IT drives me insane, especially when they realise DD is also mine, i either get looks of pitty or the OMG face. I know SO MANY families who have 4 kids, this is simular! I just want to run my errands without having to talk to strangers. The comment that bothers me the most is "glad it's you and not me" that is soo rude! I think i am going to just have to respond with smart ass remarks, just to make me feel better:)