Single Parents

do you ever feel you arent trying hard enough?

STBXH hasn't seen the kids in over 3 months. End of Sept was his last visit, we had bad scheduling in Oct (he asked the wednesday before a weekend and I had plans and he had a halloween party to go to the next)... November he bailed - twice. And the only time he has asked for in Dec is for Christmas Day to monday. I've told him countless times that he has to go thru my lawyer because he isn't responding to my lawyer about the divorce. But he refuses to go thru a laywer. Keeps contacting me (which I am documenting) and I keep telling him to go thru lawyers. I'm just so frustrated because he is now trying to manipulate me and make me feel guilty for taking this route. Over the last 3 days I have gotten 6 messages (that I have ignored) and they started out being demanding: stop ignoring me, respond immediately, we don't need lawyers... Then he switched to threats: if you don't respond I will have to take other actions - which I assumed lawyer but I could be wrong... Now he's layin on the guilt: your only hurting the kids. HOW am I hurting the kids? DS is 2.5 and doesn't ask for you but asks for my uncle he met ONCE in the summer, he thinks family structure is Mom, Grandma, and Grandpa, and of course DD and extended family... DD is 5 months and wouldn't know him from a stranger, hasn't seen him in over 1/2 her life. I feel like I'm in the right to ignore and make him go thru the lawyers. We don't have a CO for anything yet. He's not paying support (I know, nothing to do with access). I don't feel like I am hurting the kids, if it wasn't Christmas he wouldn't even be asking to see them! Yet that little tiny part of me thinks I should let him take DS, afterall it is Christmas...

Re: do you ever feel you arent trying hard enough?

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