Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Discuss: Forgetting baby in car

I know this was probably discussed yesterday after Oprah was on, but I wasn't online and I am still thinking about it.  For those of you that didn't catch it, a mother forgot and left her child in the car for 8 hours (in August).  Obviously the child died from a heat stroke.  I truly feel bad for the mother but I don't understand how you could forget your child.  Now that I am a mother, I have a whole new outlook on tragedies like these.  I am constantly thinking about her while I am at work and thinking about how she is doing at daycare.

Please discuss...
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Re: Discuss: Forgetting baby in car

  • You are a complete idiot if you forget your kid for 8 hours.  Nothing to discuss IMO.
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  • I'm sorry, you don't just forget your child in the car.  You forget your left over dinner in the doggie bag but your child you don't forget, much less for 8 hours.  I don't buy that for a minute.
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  • There have been times when I've forgotten DD was in the car with me.  Or I thought she was with me for a moment, and then remembered she was with DH or something.

    However, I'm pretty sure I would LEAVE my child in the car for a long time period.  I do keep my diaper bag/purse right by her car seat so I could never forget her anyway.
  • I've done a lot of stupid things in my sleep deprived state, but I really can't ever imagine that I'd forget my child. Ever.
  • I have been having nightmares about this kind of thing since DS was born. Last night I was so tired in the middle of the night feeding that I woke up in bed a few minutes after I put him down not remembering how I got back to bed or if I put him back in the bassinett.

    This scares me to death. I keep trying to slow down and get enough rest.

  • I can't discuss this subject. It makes my stomach turn.

    LALALALALALALALALALALAAL {holding hands over ears}
  • I can't even imagine!!

    I guess people get so caught up in their day that they forget the most important thing in the world. 


  • It's not about forgetting.  The vast majority of these incidents happen when the parent is out of their routine and they go on autopilot.  If the baby is sleeping or very quiet in the backseat it can be all too easy to forget that they're back there as you concentrate on driving, etc. 

    Yes, it's horrible, but to imply that the people didn't care about their child or didn't consider their children important enough to remember is wrong.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
  • not saying that it's okay but even if you do forget, what the hell are you doing that doesn't involve even the thought of DC for 8 hours???  It makes me so sad to think of what that baby went through for 8 hours before it died.
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  • I don't see how it could happen either because I think of Aidan 24/7! But I haven't gone back to work yet, only have 1 child, and am not that sleep depreived. I don't see myself doing something like that BUT I also have a really hard time judging her after watching her and hearing her story. It's a terrible tragedy, and she's in her own personal hell for the rest of her life.

    For those of you who don't buy it, I'm just curious -- do you think she did it on purpose?

    Aidan Jake 7/25/08 Cooper Cole 7/27/10 Tessa Morgan 8/9/12
  • I also watch these shows with a whole different perspective now that I am a mother. Of course, these things always made me sad when I watched them before, but it hits you in a whole different way once you have a child. I watched a dateline the other night about a kid who was kidnapped and abused for 4 1/2 years and it just made me bawl my eyes out.
  • I couldn't imagine doing that.  While still in the hospital, I woke up in a panic becuase DD was still in the nursery.  After all, it had been 3 hours.  Turns out, they were doing morning tests and then brought her right in.  So if I reacted that way when she only 1-2 days old, I'm pretty sure I could never forget her somewhere.
  • ITA vanilla. I have trouble understanding how you can forget like that, but obviously that woman did not intend on doing that to her child, so obviously she forgot. I don't think she was an idiot - she was sleep-deprived, overwhelmed and set up a bad habit for herself by leaving her baby in her car while picking up other daughter at daycare (ok, idiot move there). But she loved her baby and definitely did not mean for that to occur. To say, "Oh, that would never happen to me" is a bit arrogant, IMO.

    I'm so done talking about it now. I couldn't sleep last night because of this.
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  • I feel bad for the lady but yesterday decided to investigate further.

    She had left her daughter in the car three time prior and was known to leave her in the car and go into the school to get the other child.

    She passed by the window that the baby was next to at least 6 times before going into school for the day.  It's on tape.

    I think she should have been charged with something.  The situation is terrible but I find it hard to have sympathy for the woman. 

    DD#1 is such a big girl! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • I don't get it either. There were 3 incidents in our area here just recently. One of them was a 3 year old. How in the heck do you forget any child but a 3 year old who faces forward and I'm sure creates plenty of noise in the car. Another was a nurse who left her child in her car when she went to work (at a hospital mind you)....I just don't get it. People seem to never leave their cell phones or coffee behind.....how do you forget your baby? 
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  • This story so freaked me out that when the posts came up yesterday I immediately broke into a sweat and thought for a split second I had actually left Nick in the car even though I knew full well I had dropped him off at the sitters yesterday morning. So, yeah, it's hard to imagine making such a colossal mistake and I agree that you are doing too much if you manage to forget all about your baby for 8 hours HOWEVER...I agree with the pp who said it is wrong to imply that people who make this mistake don't care about or love their baby. We all make huge mistakes in life, some with worse repercussions than others.
  • There was an incident reported a year or two ago about a father doing this as well and the baby died. He was out of his routine and he didn't normally drop the baby off at daycare.

    I am a routine person and totally can relate to forgetting to do no-brainer things when I do them out of order or if I do something out of routine. BUT I don't know if I am capable of leaving my children in the car and forgetting them. Of course, I have an almost 3 year old who doesn't shut up so that really does help me.

  • Lizzy - for real?? Wow...in that case, I don't know what to say...
  • There is no justification or excuse.  Period. 
  • I can totally see how it can happen when someone is out of their normal routine and super stressed or rushed. 

    Think about the number of times that you're driving home for work, etc. and you get home and you're like "I don't even remember most of my drive."

    It's so. effing. sad.

    ________________________________________________________________


    Carter Robert 7.18.08 | Brynn Sophia 5.24.10 | Reid Joseph 9.10.12 | Emerson Mae 1.27.14

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  • WTH? How in hades do you forget your child in the car or at all? I don't feel bad for the mom at all. Maybe if I had seen the segment....no not even then I don't think. Poor baby. Hopefully she won't reproduce again.
  • yes- there was a link to the local news on lvissers post last night and I started reading about the incident.  There were a ton of articles about her.

    I agree that people can be on autopilot and it can happen and it's soo tragic.  But this woman in particular is a repeat offender and the fact that she stopped to get donuts- then when she got to the school- got out- went to the back of the car and messed with the stuff there- and continued to go back and forth by the window that her child was next to doesn't sit right with me. 

    DD#1 is such a big girl! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • The woman on Oprah yesterday was from my area, and then there was a similar incident this summer (another teacher, at the start of the school year, out of routine). So we have been discussing this forever, and the hatred for these women is unbelievable. I agree that it's difficult for me to imagine how I would forget my baby in the car all day, but I am not going to be so arrogant as to tempt fate and say it couldn't happen to me. I'm just very blessed that it hasn't.
  • well maybe I'm the only freak but, I talk to DS while I'm in the car, not to mention, even when he's sleeping, I know he's there. I think there had to be some other thing going on. You just don't forget your child.
  • Yesterday I had an appointment after work and DH was working, so my dad kindly offered to pick Mikey up from daycare. I even went with him to the daycare (its right accorss the street from my job) to show him where it was and where Mikey's stuff is, ect...

    After I left work I almost stopped at the daycare to pick him up. SEVERAL times on my way to my appointment I had to remind myself that he was NOT in the car with me because I'm SO used to him being there. That's MY routine. Now if he wasn't with me all the time, say if his dad picked him up instead of me, would I be capable of this. I don't really know, but he's on my mind constantly. Even when DH has him on the rare occasion that I don't. I call to check on him. My gut tells me there is no way I could do this, but I don't know the full story.

    Oh, and I would never leave DS in the car just to run in somewhere. As big of a pain the the a$$ as it is, I take him out no matter how small the errand.
  • I think about DD constantly, so it would be very difficult for me to forget her in the car. When I am not holding her, I panic, wondering where she is, even if she is on the floor in her bouncer.
    image DD and I. DD: 6/22/2008. DS: 6/22/2013
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