Single Parents

I Don't Know How To Support My Sister, WSID? (long)

My sister's BD is Sir Douchbag.  My niece is 4 and adores her daddy, always asking to call him or visit or eat at Olive Garden because then "Daddy can cook 'getti for us!" It's cute...

...but also heartbreaking.  She always wants to call him but whenever my sister does, he's out and about.  Five months went by without any contact from him, and just yesterday he was actually home  and answered her call.  So my sister dropped my niece off for the day, and when she came to pick her up she met his girlfriend.  She's been eager to meet her because they seem pretty serious and she just likes to know everyone that hangs out at the house when her daughter is there.  The problem?

The GF told my sister that they have a five month old son.  So my niece has had a little brother all this time and never knew!  My sister is delighted that her daughter has a brother and has already scheduled a meeting time with the girlfriend so that way my niece will be in her brothers life, but she's really hurt.  

According to the timeline, her BD abandoned his daughter the minute his son was born.  He didn't even have the balls to tell my sister that their daughter has a baby brother!  His parents (with whom he lives with) also denied the truth and ignored calls from my sister.  My sister is crushed that he would do such a thing, he was never perfect but his daughter was always the apple of his eye, at least up until his son was born.

She is in alot of emotional pain right now and I want to be a good sister and let her that I'm here for her if she needs me, but I also don't want to turn any conversation we have about the situation into a BD bashing.  So I'm asking you, who gave you the best emotional support during any hard times?  What did they say or do to make you feel at least a little better?  I love my sister and I hate to see her go through so much pain..she doesn't have any friends and I don't want her to suffer alone, but I am at a loss of words with the whole situation....

however long the night, dawn will break.


Re: I Don't Know How To Support My Sister, WSID? (long)

  • I agree with an ear if she needs to talk, but don't bring up anything yourself. I get so exhausted from my mom wanting to do nothing more than ask me about H and "what's the latest". Let your sister talk if she wants, but don't press the issue. Maybe offer to baby-sit your niece (if you're local) so she can have some alone time. Or...offer to take her out for a girl's day. That could be fun!

    I'm sorry your sister is going through all of this, but she sounds like a pretty strong woman. Is she a Bumpie? Send her over to us! Smile

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  • My best friends were there for me and listened.  The DID NOT judge.  That's probably the worst thing you could do.  And encourage her to see a counselor, or even to post here.  Many of us have gone through similar things.  It's also VERY common for a Douche like it sounds like her ex is, to forget about one child when another comes along.
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  • Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it.  I'll go out with her to a bar that she likes and we can hang out, dance, and if she wants to, talk. 

    Ya'll are awesome Yes

    however long the night, dawn will break.


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