Single Parents

Did anyone take their kids to a counselor after the split?

I am meeting with my former therapist tomorrow to bring her up to date on what has happened since I saw her last.  (Last I left her I was happily moving away with H for his new job and things were looking up.)  After this appointment, I am going to bring my older daughter along with me and she is going to work with both of us.  The older one has been acting out a bit, I'm not sure what is just normal for her age or what is due to the upheaval in her life but she told my mom the other day that she had to cry and yell because there was 'sad in her tummy that needed to come out'.  Anyway, I was just wondering what to expect from the appointment with my daughter and if you went and how it helped your child.
DD1 01.19.07
DD2 11.17.08

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Re: Did anyone take their kids to a counselor after the split?

  • My dd is in therapy for other reasons, but we have also worked on some things related to the divorce since dd is doing so well with her other things.

    The therapist plays with dd and using various toys, drawing, gets a feel for what is going on and then talks with her during these types of activities. So it's not like she is just sitting there talking. My dd thinks it is fun and likes to go.  I play a big role in it as well and she gives me tips on how to handle certain questions/situations regarding her dad.  As a family I think it has been very helpful because she has insight on things that I would never think of and has been able to connect things that I would never have even put together as being the cause of certain things.

    Good luck to you and you are a great mom for getting help for your dd, as well as yourself!   

    Kirsten DD 4-7-06
  • My DD was in counseling for two years after we split. She was there for a different reason, but a lot of it dealt with the fact that her father and I were no longer together. I'm pretty sure my DS will need it at some point too since the reason we split was pretty traumatic for the whole family.

    It was a great experience for DD and really taught her how to deal with all the feelings and emotions she was keeping inside her. Working with her therapist has also helped me with my parenting and taught me how to help DD. I definitely recommend it!

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  • I have taken both children, and my DD has recently returned to therapy.  She especially is dealing with abandonment issues stemming from her BioFather lack of involvement.  They also both had to deal with their memories of an unstable abusive homelife while I was still with him.

    My children mainly don't understand why he can't choose them over his GF's children and why don't deserve his love and attention at the same time they want nothing to do with him and don't want him in their lives.  It's a horrible conflict for anyone but for a child it's extremely confusing and painful.

     

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