Single Parents

New!

Well to this board. usually iam on 9-12 month.

hes the brief low down:

 i became a single parent over the weekend. H decided he just didnt want to be a husband anymore. after i got home from ER with DD (she had an allergic reaction) he had his bags packed ready to go.

We have only been back together for a month. he left 3 months ago to be a college kid (at 25) and left me with DD, no job, no money, nothing. but i managed, got a full time job, found daycare, so on and so forth. but then he came back. we started fighting again. he couldnt remember why he loved me. i couldnt trust the cheating liar. he put holes in the walls, he yelled screamed, called me names . iam done this time. there will be no more what ifs. i have this wave of peace. its a bit of an ego shot to be dumped by your H twice now...but ill manage. the only thing ill miss is the constant companionship.

iam not sure how divorce goes...when i was looking around for an attorney the first time around i totally gave up because i couldnt afford ANYTHING.

is there a CHEAP way to end my marriage? if we agree on everything from money to visitation is there just a paper to sign and a small fee to pay?

i need help. i just wanna move on.

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Re: New!

  • My dad once told me to check out legalzoom.com. I'm not sure if they do divorces, but they do other things fairly cheaply, and you just file them yourself. 

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  • There are online services and ways of doing divorce on your own, but makes sure to do your research first. I would recommend looking online to see if there's a book about divorce specific to your state and start there. Michigan has a great one, especially with minor children involved.
     
    It's possible to have a finalized divorce for a few hundred dollars, but that's the best case scenario. If you think your H will fight you on anything, please please please try to get an attorney. Are there any family members who can help you out?
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  • Divorce laws very from State to State.  Definitely do your research if you choose to file on your own without a lawyer.  I know where I live you have to be separated for a year before divorce hearings can start, unless you plead a special case to the court for a divorce so you don't have to wait a year (this is what I did, so I ended up hiring a lawyer to help me out since I wanted a divorce as soon as possible). 

    So cheating and verbal abuse?  Sounds like moving on is a must. Best of luck!  It's a tough situation to be in, but it sounds you like you have made the right decisions for you and your daughter by learning to manage on your own.  Plus, the ladies on this board are great support if you ever need to talk to anyone.

  • I don't really know, I hired an attorney and already have shelled out $10K (or thereabouts).  I'm glad you are leaving though, it sounds like a terrible situation that you were in!
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  • My STBXH and I are doing collaborative divorce- you might want to google and see if you have anything similar in your area. Basically we are working out our agreement together, but with a mediator that is a lawyer so that we make sure we have everything covered for both now and the future. HOWEVER, the only reason I'm doing mediation instead of us both getting lawyers is b/c STBXH is giving me basically everything I want. He knows that I would lawyer up in a second if he stopped doing that.

    Our mediation costs will total around $5000, which is much lower than a typical divorce. But again, if I thought that I wasn't getting everything I need/deserve for DD and myself, I wouldn't hesitate to get a lawyer and just figure out a way to deal with that debt. Our future is not something I want to try and save money on.

    Good luck and welcome to the board :).

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