Made a (long overdue) promise to LO tonight

StrawberryAlarmClock

My ILs act like everything they once learned about raising children has been erased from their brains. They always overstimulate DS no matter how many different ways I try to warn them not to: "he likes soft voices," "he's sleepy and needs peace and quiet," "he likes to play calmly," "DS really prefers quiet time," "He only gives high fives when he wants to".... They don't get it. They toss him around like a ragdoll, pose him for dozens of flash pictures and when he squints and turns away, they turn his head back. Today, I had enough. DS had the overtired giggles and I was trying to explain that they could turn to tears at any minute. They didn't listen and kept trying to make him show off for their dinner guests, "Dez say hi" "Give me a high five!" "Show them how you stand up tall!"' He poured and cried and reached for me, but MIL kept squeezing him tighter and saying, "Smile for your Lola! Lola loves you so much!!" I had to pry him fromher hands and I heard her say to the other guests: "No one is allowed to hold him but his Mommy." I tried walking away with him, but people followed, trying to get his attention. I tried nursing him in the basement, but MIL kept coming down and bothering us. Finally, I put my coat on and handed DH the car keys. I said, "he's fading. Let's go." In the car, DS finally broke and squinted his eyes closed and moaned loudly and constantly the whole way home. DH asked what was wrong with him and I said he's overstimulated and trying to block everything out and soothe himself to sleep. I felt so terrible. He'd never done that before. He bawled while I changed him into PJs and while I nursed him to sleep, I cried a little too and promised him that I'd never again make him uncomfortable just to make other people happy. I feel like a crap mom for not trusting my instincts and leaving sooner.

nekorayne

That sounds like a nightmare! Poor LO. Don't feel bad mama. It is hard to react in those siuations

kwinters87

Poor little guy!  I hate when people treat babies like performing monkeys!

EmmieB

Wow. Shame on those adults who should know better!

Sounds like my ILs, though. And you walk a fine line between taking care of yourself and your baby and not "causing" trouble! Crap situation.

I hope he rests up and recovers!

Uiowachick01

Every mama deserves a good cry when you and your LO have been through a difficult situation.  I'm sorry this happened:(  

We have the same problem, so now we come later to events and leave early if need be, We put our foot down with those that are in Ovi's face.  and I BW when he is drained, or I go to the car to nurse. 

Spenjamins

Sounds like there is more to this story. Was he feeding off your anger as well?

mrs.baum

It seems awful now, but really this isn't worth getting upset over. This isn't going to harm him. Your DS' grandparents care about him and that is a big deal. His grandparents won't be in his life forever. I'm not saying you should let them walk all over you, but it sounds like this could have been handled better by everyone involved.

Que*Syrah

Poor baby and mama =( I have been in that situation with my mom before. It's hard to stand up for your baby and be firm.

StrawberryAlarmClock

Thanks for the support everyone. DH has tried to talk to ILs and they don't get it. Like PP said, he's not a performing monkey there for their entertainment. He's a person. DH and I talked last night and agreed that we'd be home no later than 30min before DS's bedtime or when he starts to show signs of getting worn out or we'd have people over here so DS can have down time whenever he needs it. Thanks for the eHugs!

bh2720

mrs.baum:

It seems awful now, but really this isn't worth getting upset over. This isn't going to harm him. Your DS' grandparents care about him and that is a big deal. His grandparents won't be in his life forever. I'm not saying you should let them walk all over you, but it sounds like this could have been handled better by everyone involved.

This. Your LO will be completely fine even if they do that the next time you go there. Sounds like a lot drama...

KelliLynee

nekorayne:

That sounds like a nightmare! Poor LO. Don't feel bad mama. It is hard to react in those siuations

My thoughts exactly. It is really hard to react in those situations. 

BelhurstBride

bh2720:

mrs.baum:

It seems awful now, but really this isn't worth getting upset over. This isn't going to harm him. Your DS' grandparents care about him and that is a big deal. His grandparents won't be in his life forever. I'm not saying you should let them walk all over you, but it sounds like this could have been handled better by everyone involved.

This. Your LO will be completely fine even if they do that the next time you go there. Sounds like a lot drama...

I think whether or not it's dramatic depends on the kid. DH and I have learned the hard way that's it's not worth dealing with in order to appease the grandparents. She sleeps horribly that night as a result and is then miserable the next day while we try to play catch up on sleep.  Once she starts giving us cues that she's had enough we head for the door.

OP, that really stinks. Hopefully after talking to his parents your inlaws will be a little bit more understanding. Mine are also the 'won't give the baby back' type and it's so frustrating.