MIL need advice

klmfabulous

I need advice as for what to say to my MIL..... She comes to visit the baby every other day and stays way too long (through dinner etc)...she's a "know it all," but it's the long periods of time spent at my house that annoy me. I am planning on telling her she can visit once a week....is this appropriate? is it not right? how do I tell her and justify it???

amandalawless

I know what you mean about MIL but I have no advice.  My MIL lives across the street from us so she likes to come every day to see LO.  At first she would stay till after 9 at night so we made a rule that LO will be in bed at 8:00 if she wants to stay she can stay but LO will not be around after 8.  (I only do this when we have company aka MIL)  I also told DH that I would like one night a week with no company since I am back at work again.  We or well I just straight out MIL using the excuse I was starting back to work.  Now some days she does not come over to our house but then she will stop by her moms, who is watching LO while I am at work and see her.  It would probablly be better to let DH tell MIL instead of you, I've learned if I say something to MIL DH gets very upset even though he does not tell her anything.  Good Luck with it and I hope it gets better. 

ChrissyMarie007

I think you should have your dh say something-that way she *may* take it a little better. Maybe he can say something about you trying to get dc on a schedule and the visits interrupt it ; or say that you need family time to bond. Either way I would let dh handle it.

Rach7170

I don't understand...just tell her not to stay through dinner and you are too busy for all those visits...not hard, its your house! Stand up for yourself!

Copernicus08

Can DH help support you, or tell her for you? Whatever you decide to do, you don't need to justify it -- it's your house and your sanity :-) Does she help out when she comes over, or is her idea of helping taking the baby from you while you do chores? If you need to give her a reason, just be honest and tell her that you need time as a family to figure everything out on your own, but that you'll call her with updates! 

OctoberBabyH

In my personal experience, having DH talk to her doesn't seem to work. He is very direct but bc he is her son, she tends to ignore his words and wishes and believes she is the "ruler of his world" still and will just do as she pleases anyway. Now, if I talk to her, I am short, firm and maintain a neutral tone. It is the only way for her to actually back off, at least a little.

She will not put the baby down, which I get. I grab her and say "Give me my cutie" in a nice way, or something to that effect and tell her I have to feed her. (I BF, so I just leave the room.) And I will tell her what we are doing at specific times, loading up our schedule. For example, dinner is at this time, nap time is this time, bath time, etc. Anytime she gives me her crappy advice I shoot back with how I am following what the pedi says, but thanks anyway. Good luck.